


Heartache

by luisa03



Category: YiZhan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Boys In Love, Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Multi, Oblivious, Repressed Memories, Slow Burn, Top Wang Yi Bo/Bottom Xiao Zhan, Xiao Zhan deserves happiness, i have no idea what im doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 46,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26204641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luisa03/pseuds/luisa03
Summary: The bright sun filled the hotel room, together with the laughter and jokes shared by the three handsome boys sat together around the tiny table chatting about life. It was an exhausting day for them after spending hours and hours filming for SDC, and finally after so many months they could spend a few days resting and enjoying themselves. The younger man was telling the others about his new skateboard and how he was learning new tricks on it...his eyes were sparkling and he did not even stop to take a breath. However, even though his eyes were sparkling and he seemed happy, there was something in his expressions that just people extremely close to him would notice. The problem is that not even that man himself could realize his true feelings and buried all his emotions deep in his aching heart. Well...at least until a familiar song start playing in the radio and the happiness and laughs from that room were replaced with watery eyes and tears falling down his cheeks.So this is heartache?All this pain in the chest, my regrets, and things we never said...What me meant, what we said that night,why did i let you go?I miss you
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Yibo woke up in the middle of the night with his body soaked in sweat and his heart beating faster than ever as if he just finished running a marathon. It was not the first time that this awful feeling took over him and made him stay awake for hours during the night.

It was something pretty common now but every time it happened he couldn’t stop himself from feeling melancholic and then empty. Fuck. He whispered to himself while getting up from his cosy and warm bed to take a cold shower. This irritating situation have been happening for half a year now and the only thing he could do is sit and put up with it. Weirdly, this feeling would get worse around this time of the year and every night he'd dream about the same thing...well couldn’t really be called a dream as it was peach black all the time, but as he would feel himself waking up the same sweet smile appeared faintly in his mind. He could not guess who it belong to as it was barely visible, but he knew it was very sweet, he just could sense it. 

Yibo got out of the shower wrapping himself with a long towel which was the first thing he saw. He knew he wouldn’t fall asleep right away, so he opened the curtains from his hotel room and sat in a little sofa near the window to look at the stars and moon. This had became a habit of his and he could not remember why, but it made him feel safe and warm inside. He giggled a bit about a memory he had of people online writing things that in his opinion were gross...a particular one was something like “ The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her breathe”. For Wang Yibo, that was just bullshit lonely people would write online to comfort themselves about how shitty their lives were. He did not believe in those romantic stories people tell, and it was harder for him to believe that someone would be like the sun and sacrifice their spotlight for someone else to shine...that was just impossible. 

As he kept on thinking about that, his eyes became heavy and he fell asleep once again dreaming about that sweet smile which was almost invisible in his mind.

  


9AM

  


_YOOO YIBO WAKE UP MAN_! Jackson shouted while trying to get into Yibo hotel room using his own card. Suspiciously, he was able to get in and jump in Yibo’s bed just to find that the younger one wasn’t there, but asleep in his sofa in a quite uncomfortable but funny position. Yibo managed to throw one of his legs over the arm rest, while the other one was on the floor looking as if he was almost doing the splits, and his head was resting in the other arm rest which would probably give him a neck pain when he wakes up. 

Jackson couldn’t help but laugh and take a picture of that hilarious scene in front of him. Lay entered the room with Wallace and hurried to wake Yibo up and save him from more embarrassment.

“ _Yibo...what’s wrong with you? Why did you sleep in the sofa and why are the curtains open like this?”_ Wallace said while helping Yibo get up and sit in bed. “ _You are not even dressed properly kid. Do you want to catch a cold?_! “ 

_Ge i just fell asleep like this”_

_“I think Yibo was just waiting for a young housekeeper to show up and see him like this and fall in love and...”_

_“Shut up Jackson! Anyways, what are you guys doing here at this time?”_ Yibo got up to get some clothes from the wardrobe so he could look more appropriate and get out of there to go on his usual walk.

“Well, we were planning to wake you up later so we could have lunch together but Jackson just wanted to annoy you and sneaked in here and well...now we are all here looking at you getting changed” Lay said while pouring him some water from the kitchen.

“I’m going for a walk and we can have lunch later but please keep Jackson busy so he won’t follow me! I want some privacy for at least 1 hour.” 

Yibo grabbed his phone, a hat and a black face mask so no crazy fan would see his face and run after him. He left the hotel and headed towards his favourite place in Shanghai. 

It was a 40 minutes’ walk but Yibo really needed to clean his mind from what had happened yesterday. This place Yibo loved so much was a hidden forest with enormous trees covering almost all the entrance, but few years ago Yibo was able to get pass it, and every time he was in Shanghai and felt upset, he'd go there and be alone for hours. Once you get past that entrance, you would be amazed with how many different types of flowers there was inside. It looked as if you were inside a fantasy book and fairies would appear out of nowhere. That beautiful place had a strong smell of roses, even though it was filled with different types of flowers, and Yibo could swear that one day he breathed in a candy floss smell. 

Even though Yibo was close, maybe 20 minutes away from that magical place, the street he was walking through was filled with people. There were shop sellers going around showing their products to the public, businessmen looking extremely wealthy while arguing about something on their phone, children going to school and just normal people walking around like Yibo. He speeds up his pace to get out of that crowd as fast as he could. “ _What if someone recognises me? I’m gonna be so fucked..ah I hate this_ “. Yibo repeated the same sentence in his head _once_...he felt as if more people were around him.. _.twice._..the noise around him was fading away... _one last time_...his shoulder hit something hard and Yibo said sorry in a low voice feeling a bit dizzy.

  


_“Dont worry_ "

  


Yibo whole body froze at the moment he heard that person’s deep voice. He did not know why but he wanted to follow them and just..” _Just what_?” This was just a person he had bumped by accident and that’s it. Nothing else. His brain kept on telling him it was no one important enough to follow and talk to, it was just a stranger just like the thousands of strangers around him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...And sing this one song together to the world"

  


  


The beautiful garden was the same as Yibo remembered from the last time he went there. He felt extreme peace once he got inside and breathed in that strong smell of roses and heard the birds singing. Even though Yibo didn’t show much, he loved the nature and cared deeply for that little space that only him seemed to have access to...he couldn’t help but wonder how there were so many different types of flowers growing all together in one area. It was as if someone had planted them there and took care of them often just for Yibo to see. “ _Aish what are you thinking now Wang Yibo? I seriously need to talk about this with someone..AH CHEN XUAN_ “ . Chen Xuan was Yibo's closest friend...she grew up with him and always had his back if he was in problems; she also encouraged him to pursue his career as dancer when they were kids and even threatened his Uniq brothers that if they did not take care of him, she would personally go to Korea and kill them.

They were very close and, although Xuan wasn’t famous, she could understand Yibo’s busy lifestyle and still be herself around him. They could almost be called siblings...almost. Even though Chen Xuan considered herself as a proud lesbian and used to always tell Yibo “ _I have the wildest sex with my girls_ ”, they would end up making out when one of them was stressed or had a bad day, and she’d say he’s an exception. It was something pretty common for them and he can’t even remember when it all started, but after they were done with the “business” they would talk about their day normally and laugh about their facial expressions during sex..it didn’t involve any feelings at all, it would just work more as a stress relief for both.

  
Yibo dialed her number quickly in his phone and waited for her to pick up.” _I bet this dumbass won’t pick up qui-"_

  
 _“Yibooo I need you! Wang Yibo I’m devastated_ ” Xuan picked up the call quicker than Yibo was expecting. Her voice was shaky and it seemed as if she was crying and well...maybe exaggerating a bit. 

  
“ _Shijie I need you too...I guess life fucked both of us today"_

  
“ _Yibo my little baby, I will go to see you later..just..just tell me where you are and i will bring wine”_

  
“ _Mhm, I will send you the address. I’m gonna have lunch with the boys and I will text you afterwards...you better come.”_

  
Yibo hung up the phone and smiled at how their conversations were so short as if they could sense each other's problems. He texted Xuan his hotel address..he needed his best friend with him so he could tell her all of his worries and problems going on. She already knew he had those problems during the night and tried her best to help him, but for what he though, she was like him and couldn’t understand why it happened. Yibo sighed and got up from the grass, he took a deep breath and looked around the stunning garden again." _i wish I could stay here foreve_ r". With that thought he made his way back to the hotel.

  
 **Hotel**

  
“Y _ibo I thought you got kidnapped or something. What took you so long? I’m hungry man. This hottie here needs rice to become sexier_ ”. Jackson said as soon Yibo entered Lay's hotel room. In the middle of the room there was a table full of food and drinks that made Yibo salivate.

  
“ _Woow_ " 

  
“ _Come, come let’s eat now! We were just waiting for you...Wallace couldn’t stay because he had some work to do, so we will eat for him too!_ Yibo giggled with Jackson statement and joined them in the table.

  
The bright sun filled the hotel room, together with the laughter and jokes shared by the three handsome boys sat together around the tiny table chatting about life. It was an exhausting week for them after spending hours and hours filming for SDC, and finally after so many months they could spend a few days resting and enjoying themselves. The younger man was telling the others about his new skateboard and how he was learning new tricks on it...his eyes were sparkling and he did not even stop to take a breath. However, even though his eyes were sparkling and he seemed very happy, there was something in his expressions that just people extremely close to him would notice. The night before really had messed with his mind again but the problem is that not even that man himself could realize his true feelings and buried all his emotions deep in his aching heart. Well...at least until a familiar song start playing in the radio and the happiness and laughs from that room were replaced with watery eyes and tears falling down his cheeks.

  
Yibo couldn’t control it and the more he stayed inside that room, the more his heart ache. Lay and Jackson were staring at him in horror, they couldn’t understand why that boy in front of them who was laughing a minute ago, was now crying as if he lost something very important in his life. They tried to hug him and comfort him but Yibo left the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving the two boys speechless.

  
He entered his room and slid down the door...everything was happening in slow motion in Yibo's mind and he was having a hard time processing everything that had just happened. Without noticing, one hour has passed and someone was knocking at his door. Yibo took a deep breath and remembered that Xuan was coming to see him.  
“ _Heyy dickh...Yibo what’s wrong_?” Xuan expression went from happy and crazy to worried and sad. She hugged Yibo as soon as she got inside the room and held his hand to take him to sit in bed. “Bo what’s wrong?”  
“ _I...shijie_..” Yibo tried to form a sentence to explain why he was crying like a little baby but he just couldn’t. His eyes were filled with tears and his nose was already red. Yibo wasn’t a person that people would imagine crying so easily..yeah there was times he cried in front of the fans, but it was rare. The truth was that he felt too much and he cared too much. Yibo remained emotionless in front of the camera as a way to protect himself, but the people close to him knew he felt more than most people. He had gone through so much in the past years but Yibo worked so hard to achieve his goals and maintain a cool posture in front of others, but he was human too...and like any other human he breakdowns when things get too much.

Yibo have felt lonely so many times, even when surrounding with thousands of people...it was as if he was screaming but no one would stop and ask him "you okay? ". He knew that he would have to walk through this dark path with the career choice he made...and he didn't really mind but everything now was oversenstive. He hasn't cried in a long time and all his tears were filled with doubts about his professional and personal life.  


_"I'm so tired shijie..."_


	3. Chapter 3

It had been almost 3 months...3 long and depressing months without Xiao Zhan posting anything in his Weibo, and few more months since the incident that ruined his reputation happened. Zhan tried his best to keep a very low profile but people still dragged his name into horrible rumours that made him almost give up on his whole career...almost. He cried watching sad movies, shouted listening to depressing songs and got comfort from his adorable cat, Jianguo. He decided that he can’t give up, he was not a person that would give up that easily, and he needed to make his fans proud and show them how to be resilient. But Zhan also needed to protect people around him and not let their names get ruined too. He would try his best to find a way to let everyone shine and be happy.

_“ZhanZhan your interview with Roseonly was amazing, did you know that? You got so many views and likes!”_ Zhan's manager was the one responsible for taking care of him and organise his schedule. He was sure that the beautiful man with the charming smile everyone loved, would come back to his fans soon and he was ready to protect him.

“ _That’s great, I miss working...being trapped at home is just so suffocating_ " Zhan’s life was starting to get busy again and he felt content about that. However, he was not the same...his amazing smile was weak and even when he tried smiling, his eyes were obviously sad. Everyone around him could notice that and tried their best to cheer him up, but it was difficult.

The only person that was able to cheer him up a bit was Xuan Lu. After filming “The untamed”, they had become very close and she was like a big sister to him. Even though they were both busy, she would find time to check and support him during the hard times.

“ _Xiao Zhan I’m so happy you are back! I think everyone missed your smile..come to my house so we can celebrate! Zhoucheng said he misses you too and we are gonna meet today. Please comee xx"_

Xiao Zhan smiled and replied with a “okay". It had been ages since they met each other and had fun together. They would have deep conversations about life and the universe, then switch to funny topics and end up getting drunk. The last time they met was with more of his friends. Xiao Zhan was always the first one to get drunk and throw a mini concert in front of them, then Zhuocheng would join him and sing musical songs like crazy, Lulu would be shouting their names like their number one fan and Yib...

“Zhan let’s go. We have another interview.”

Hotel

“ _I’m so tired shijie_..” Yibo was now laying in Chen Xuan lap. She stroked his hair gently and saw her best friend, the one she was always trying to protect and loved the most, crying...Yibo looked so innocent and fragile like he could break at anytime if she did a wrong move. “ _Bo, you can talk to me"_

_“I dont even know...I was eating lunch and everything was fine but then I suddenly felt horrible and I couldn’t control the tears from falling down. I just realised my situation by the way Jackson and Lay were looking at me..._

_Then I came here and I tried calming myself Xuan...I really tried! My head was hurting so much and I cant even sleep properly anymore... I- I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what is ca-causing. It’s so confusing and I’m so so tired! I feel happy with what I’m doing, so why do I feel like shit now? It’s the worse I have been...”_

“Yibo...calm down first. Try to remember, is there _anything that..idk..erm might have caused this?_

_“Hmm..I’m not sure shijie. But we were listening to music and..and...”_

_“What Yibo?_

_“Wuji was playing...”_

_“The song you sang with Xiao Zhan_?” Xuan eyes were wide and she stopped stroking Yibo's hair. She knew things that not even Yibo realised...she knew about certain feelings that Yibo seemed oblivious about and she knew about a certain argument that had happened a while ago.” _Yibo you are so dumb_...”

“ _Huh_?”

_“Ah I mean nothing. Yibo maybe you just working too much and got a bit too sensitive. You know that song makes everyone feel nostalgic...maybe you miss the times you were filming the drama. I remember you always spamming me about how fun it was to film that...and maybe you miss someone_...”

Chen Xuan knew her best friend more than anyone, she was there for him at the hardest time but also at the good times. Back at the Summer 2018, her best friend would be sending her pictures and messages nonstop about how everything was beautiful and how his colleagues were so cool. To be honest, she felt a bit jealous of not being there to hug him and tell everyone that HE was HER best friend, but the most important was that she felt extremely happy for him. She knew Yibo got a lot of hate for getting the role of Lan Zhan, so when she found out he was enjoying every moment in the set, she finally relaxed. There was a specific person that Yibo was always chatting about...for the way he described him, that person was like an angel. He had innocent and honest eyes, a beautiful bunny smile with a little mole under his lip and extremely soft hair...oh and he said he smelled like roses.

She found that normal, who wouldn’t be amazed about working with such beautiful person? But she realized something was different when she watched a video of those two interacting...her best friend was looking at that person in a very passionate and caring way, like there was no cameras and people in that room apart from them. She even thought “ _maybe he is doing that for the fans_ ", but she knew her best friend. He wouldn’t look at someone like that, especially a guy, if they weren’t filming it for the drama. “ _Damn Yibo_ "

**3PM**

" _ZhanZhan please get down! It's only 3 PM and you already like this..pleasee Xiao Zhan_ " Lulu was moving her hands as if she was ready to catch Xiao Zhan in case he lost balance and fell.

The righteous Xiao Zhan that everyone knew was now standing on top of the kitchen table singing to "You are my everything " by Gummy. " _Nooo lemme ssing my heartu out okay? I-I need to sing this song it's really good ! EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP_ "

" _Why is he not in the "sleep right away" drunk mood?would be good for everyone"_

_"Woah A-Cheng you really sound like Jiang Cheng now"_ said Lulu laughing a bit." _Let him enjoy a bit, he deserves it"_

_"Life is really unfair Shijie you know that? And Zhuocheng please come here and sing with me all of my sorrows. I missed you loaaads" Zhan_ jumped off the table and threw himself in Zhuocheng's arms hoping he would not let him fall..and he did not _." A-Cheng did you..did you know haha? In that..that novel XianXian throws himself in Lan zhan's arms too? Ha but-but you are not him..its kinda disappointing..but you CAUGHT MEE!_

_"Zhan..are you okay?"_

_Lu saw tears in Xiao Zhan eyes when he let go of A-Cheng arms and looked at her. He had a big smile on his face but his eyes were watery. She took his hand and asked him again if he was okay...Zhan continued smiling and asked her " So this is heartache?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡♡I hope this is okayy


	4. Chapter 4

Hotel

“ _Aish Yibo I caant believe you slept for almost the whole day yesterday and now you are awake at 5am..are you trying to kill me? Jackson knocked at your door so many times yesterday that I had to go and tell him you were busy. Be ready for his interrogation_!” Xuan who was laying on Yibo bed peacefully earlier, was now covering her head with the pillows to protect her ears from the music Yibo was blasting from the TV.

“ _Xuan my bestie please shut up. You didn’t wake me up so it’s your fault bitch Now let me enjoy my music. Why did you call me yesterday huh? And we didnt even drank the wine you told me youd bring._ ”

“ _Ahh Wang Yibo, my little Yibo I broke up with my girlfriend and im so fucking sad. She was so beautiful you know? Long hair and such tasty pus..._

_“Yo i dont need to know the details. Xuan when are you even gonna settle in a relationship? This month you had like 3 girlfriends and you broke up with them all. What was the reason with this one?_

_“She was always talking about her ex. All.the.fucking.time! Yibo that was so annoying and then I asked her if she’d like to do a threesome...and the bitch said noo! Can you_ believe that? So, I _gave up and told her to go annoy someone else about her sexy ex.”_

_“You are unbelievable Chen Xuan. Unbelievable!”_

" Are you feeling better Bo?"

"Mhm" 

_“GREAT ! I’m getting sexually frustrated Bo...can you help me with that?”_

_“Unbelievable... Come here._ ”

......

It was a cold Thursday morning; the sun did not shine in Shanghai sky and the heavy rain was hitting the window making Xiao Zhan slowly open his eyes. He had fallen asleep in the living room’s floor and had a fluffy blanket covering his body. His head was spinning and he had a strange sensation in his chest as if something bad had happened or was about to happen.

He looked at the clock and realised that was only 5AM.” _No one would be awake now_ ”. Zhan got up and tip toed to the kitchen to get himself water and maybe some medicine; he chose to search for it instead of waking Lulu up and stress her but...

“ _ZhanZhan you are awake! How...how are you feeling?_ ” Lu was standing close to the fridge with a cup of water in her hand. Her eyes were fixed on Xiao Zhan as if she was trying to read something in his expressions.”

_Take this Zhan. It will help you with the hangover”_

_“T-Thank you. I’m ok.”_

_“Zhan are you sure"_

_“Why?_

_“Well...yesterday you kinda..ah never mind ZhanZhan I cant remember properly..you better go to sleep a bit more, it’s so early"_ Xuan Lu had a worry written all over her face. She wanted to tell him...she wanted to let him know about what happened last night and the things said but something was pulling her back; Her friend had suffered so much this month, and he deserved a day of peace and happiness...but what about her other friend? The quiet and aloof one who just disappeared from their lives. Was he okay? Did something happen? She never really talked that much with him as ZhanZhan did, but she worried and cared for him as if he was her little brother.

“ _Zhan, have you talked to Yibo?"_

_“What?"_

_“Do you still talk to Wang Yibo?_

_“I... why you mentioning him now? You haven’t said his name in ages_ " Xiao Zhan was truly surprised in hearing that name come out of Xuan Lu mouth. She hasn’t mentioned him since last December and he could see in her face...worry? “ _No, I don’t talk to that boy anymore...I guess it’s something normal right? We both don’t have time and we took different paths...the drama ended a while ago so there’s...there’s no reason to talk to him anymore!_

_“Zhan...you guys were so close. What happened?”_

_“Nothing happened...please don’t ask more questions. Please"_ Zhan went back to the living room and laid on the sofa. Did he say something that he wasn’t supposed to last night? Why did Lu bring his drama colleague into their conversation out of nowhere?... How was he anyway? The same bright and humble boy? No, Xiao Zhan could not think about that...he was not allowed to think about that even if it was killing him inside to know how that boy was doing.

Zhan closed his eyes and his mind wandered off to the Summer of 2018 when things were magical for both of them.” _I miss you_ "

It was already 10am when Xiao Zhan woke up. He could hear Lulu and Zhoucheng beautiful singing voices coming from the kitchen. He felt happy being reunited with them again after so many months. “ _Hey_ "

“ _Good morning sleeping beauty! Would you like something to drink?”_

_“I’m fine A-Cheng”_

_“Zhan I need your helppp! I’m preparing something delicious for lunch but I need potatoes and i do not have potatoes! ZhanZhan can you please go and buy them for me? Pretty pleasee_ "

“ _Sure shijie, I will just take a quick shower and I will go buy those important potatoes.”_

_“THANK YOUU"_

Xiao Zhan took a quick warm shower and picked a big cream coat that he had once forgotten in Xuan Lu’s house. He grabbed his phone, a mask and the most important, an umbrella. The weather was terrible, he could hear the spine-chilling thunders and see the monstrous lightning waiting for him outside. Zhan took a deep breath and stepped outside that cozy house.

He ran to the closest market that was 10 minutes away, hoping that those scary noises coming from the sky would stop.” _Lord I don’t wanna die today, please have merc_ y.”

Zhan quickly bought the potatoes and a iced coffee without bringing any attention to him and he was lucky there was no fans around the little market. “ _Hihihi today’s my day_ ". He ran and ran and ran without being able to see the things in front of him properly, he just wanted to get home quickly and eat Xuan Lu's amazing food.

Xiao Zhan was almost there...almost reaching the street where Lu house was located...until he bumped into someone hard-again- making the other person fall down in a puddle he presumed as water splashed everywhere.

“ _I’m so so sorry! Are you o...Y-Yibo?_ ”

Xiao Zhan was petrified. His brain was telling him to run away, to leave the boy there as he was old enough to take care of himself, to just go separate ways again...but he couldn’t, he just simply couldn’t move or talk. That young man was sat in front of him, with his clothes all wet and eyes fixed on Xiao Zhan eyes...for both of them everything moved in slow motion. _Time.had.just.stopped_. Xiao Zhan couldn’t help but notice Yibo’s swollen lips and the bruises all over his neck...” _hickeys_?”

“ _Zhan-ge_...” Yibo tried reaching for Xiao Zhan hand but Zhan slapped it away.

“ _Zhan I..you...you are here! A-after so long Xiao Zhan...you are here in front of me again”_

_“I-I need to go. Bye"_

_“Pl-please dont Zhan...you cant"_ Yibo tried holding Xiao Zhan's hands again but the older seemed scared or perhaps anxious. He just pushed Yibo again and threw his umbrella at him. “ _keep this_ ". Zhan whispered so quietly that he couldn’t even hear himself properly.

“ _Zhan ge...dont go! DONT GO GEGE....please_ ” And that was how their first meeting after so long was. Yibo kept sat on the ground under the heavy rain mixing with his tears...all of the memories from last year came rushing into his head...all those repressed memories that he tried to make disappear were now passing through his mind. The feeling was too overwhelming and he couldn’t care less at the stares people were giving when they passed near him. Yibo remembered how he and his gege always had so much fun together during those 2 years, but he also remembered how Xiao Zhan coldly ignored him during their last appearance on the stage together. All this time he thought that he did that to protect them from the media and gossips, and he was right, but Yibo felt there was something more behind this situation...and there was something missing in his memory. Could it be that Yibo was feeling often upset because he missed his big brother? But he also missed his other brother from the drama...he wouldn’t be feeling like shit just because of that? “ _Xiao Zhan you idiot_ "

In the other hand, Xiao Zhan was in shock...he couldn’t cry, even though he felt a huge urge to do so. He ran so fast to get inside the house that ended up falling as soon he got in. Xuan Lu and Zhoucheng hurried to help him up and take him to the sofa close to the heater. “ _Ge what happened? Did someone follow yo_ u? Zhoucheng asked while trying to clean Xiao Zhan’s hair with the towel LuLu gave him.

_“I-I brought the po-potatoes_ "

“ _Xiao Zhan STOP it now! What happened?_!” It was the first time Lu raised her voice at him. She did not mean to sound angry; she was actually extremely worried about her Zhan but she hated that he was keeping everything for himself. Zhan was someone who would talk about his problems with close friends and feel much better the next day, but this time he was just hiding and keeping all his emotions only to himself.

“ _I...i bumped into Yibo. I left him there in the rain...all alone. I just couldn’t move and help him...he tried touching my hand but I can’t hold it! What if a photographer was there? His career would get destroyed...because of me! I would destroy his whole life if we got seen together. I can’t do this to him but it hurts...so much seeing him cry._ ” Lu and Cheng hugged him...simply hugged Xiao Zhan. They had no words to say to him now, so they could only comfort him. They knew things from now on would be difficult but they would do their best to help their friend, and Xuan Lu set her mind that she was going to make Xiao Zhan slowly understand his own emotions...which were very obvious for those who knew him well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo♡  
> So these chapters were just like a introduction of how Yibo and Zhan relationship is rn. The chapters in the future will explain their lovely (and sad) memories from last year. And maybe why Yibo is often feeling upset for "no reason".
> 
> Thank you for reading and sorry if there is any mistakes!!❤


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks passed slowly for both Zhan and Yibo. Their mind was stuck at that rainy day two weeks ago, when their paths finally crossed after so many months being distant from each other. However, it was not as everyone expected, and left both young men hurt and mentally exhausted. Yibo, who was burying the memories of the older man deep in his mind, could now remember and even feel all those emotions from their happy years together. He kept repeating in his head “ _Xiao Zhan I haven’t seen you for so long, where are you now_?”. He wanted to see his Zhan ge, the one he had spent months together in the filming set, the one he had visited so many times and even stolen some clothes from, the one that inspired him so much that made him become a better and stronger person. Gosh, how he missed those times. But what could he do? They were gone and he was sure he would never speak to that person again...he would just admire him from distance and cheer for him.

“ _Hey Yibo, what do you think of this move?_ " asked one of his team members. Her name was DaTing and she was training for hours, together with the other members to impress their leader and create an amazing choreography.

_“Huh?_

_“The dance move.”_

_“Ah...it’s great! Working hard as always. You guys should go home soon and rest_. “said Yibo. He practiced a bit more and watched them leave the studio.

It was already night, the lights had turned itself off and he couldn’t be bothered to move, even though he was scared. The place was dark and cold, sending a chill down his spine. He could hear his own breathing and heartbeat increasing...adrenaline running in his veins. The door that was closed a second ago, was now opening slowly like in horror movie and a big shadow reflected on the floor. Yibo could swear he stopped breathing for a minute, when that tall shadow was coming closer to him. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed to the heavens...he was too young to die.

“ _Yibo, you still here? Everyone left already_ "

_“Y-Yixing?”_

_“You good_?”. Lay turned on the all the lights and looked at the boy in front of him who was so pale as if he had just seen a ghost. He approached Yibo who was sat on the floor trembling a bit.” _Did you see a ghost little Yibo?”_

“ _N-no. I’m fine! I just wanted to practice a bit more_ ” Yibo was now up and getting ready to leave that place.

“ _Practicing in the dark? Well that’s not surprising. Our captain always working so hard. Let’s go to the hotel together then_! “

Their journey to the hotel was quiet, both of them were exhausted and just wanted to lay down in bed and breath properly. Lay was worried about what happened to Yibo during their lunchtime together few weeks ago, but preferred to wait for the younger to tell them...if he chose to tell them. It was his option after all and he hated to intervene in someone else’s private life.

“ _Goodnight Yibo, rest well!”_

 _“Goodnight_ “

Yibo opened the door to his hotel room, already taking his clothes off to enjoy a warm bath. His whole body hurt from dancing too hard, and the bruises in his legs and hips were quite dark making him frown. Yibo filled in the bath tub and entered it, feeling the hot water relaxing his muscles...he needed that. He took his phone and started scrolling through his personal Weibo account.

There were many pictures of motorbikes he liked, delicious food, colourful skateboards and BJYX fanarts.” _Fanarts what_?!” Yibo stopped scrolling to look at a drawing of him and... Xiao Zhan?

It was them holding hands and cuddling in a sofa that looked extremely comfy, Zhan had the biggest smile while Yibo just stared at him happily. “ _Wow_ " It was not the first time Yibo had seen pictures like that, but most of the times it was them in Lan Zhan and Wei Ying costumes so he did not pay much attention. They were obviously beautiful too and he loved his character but it wasn’t exactly him in them. This one looked so real and pleasant to look at. Without thinking, Yibo searched for more and more, not realising the water was starting to get cold. They all looked so amazing and for some reason made him feel warm inside, until he clicked in one by accident which made him almost drop the phone in the water. “ _what the hell_?” Yibo was now looking mouth opened, to a very realistic digital drawing of him and Zhan...He was lying naked on a large bed with red blankets, while Zhan was in the same condition but sat on top of him with flushed cheeks and mouth slightly opened, his hair seemed wet and his hands were tightly grabbing Yibo’s shoulder...he looked _“so hot_ " Yibo said thoughtlessly.

Yibo stared intensely at the picture as if he was almost inside it. His big hand slowly made its way down his abdomen and lower, carefully grabbing his already hard member leaking precome. He stroked himself gently, while putting the phone down with the other hand, and that erotic picture appeared in his mind. His movements became faster and faster, and his loud moans echoed in the bathroom producing a very sensual scene. Yibo felt it coming, it was so good and his body was burning hot,he was almost there and “ _Zhan ge ah_ ". Yibo moaned at the same time he released all over the water. His heart was beating faster as soon he realized the words that came out of his mouth.

“ _What the fuck is wrong with me_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter♡  
> But dont be like Yibo who uses his phone while bathing 😂  
> Our Zhan will appear in the next chapter and probably make us a bit frustrated 😂
> 
> Also, Happy birthday turtles 🐢❤❤95


	6. Chapter 6

It was so cold. As his limbs were turning numb, his senses naturally ceased to operate, the only thing he could still feel was the coolness of the room engulfing him in a state of paralysis. Perhaps, the thought of getting a cold did cross his mind, he did in fact realise that what he was doing was a reckless act, but did it matter? Did anything matter? After last night’s occurrence, Yibo stopped concerning himself with such matters, as if all the purpose in his life had vanished...well at least for a while.  
When he woke up alone and freezing in his hotel room, he realised that what he did was a mistake. A big mistake. It was not something he would usually do, especially that he knew he had to take care of his health in order to participate in his so loved show – Street dance of China.

  
His cheeks were flushed by the high fever dominating his body, and his head felt as if millions of needles were piercing through it. His mind wandered off to the scene when he dragged himself to the bed last night, after committing that filthy act. He was not cautious enough to get dressed, or perhaps, he was too disoriented to even think about that. What could he do now? It was already in the past and he had to move on. Yibo got up and slowly walked to the bathroom to get ready for training with his team members. In the bathroom, the tub he was laying hours ago was still filled with water and his phone placed in the little table next to it. He didn’t dare to take it into his hands as that picture was still vivid in his mind and the feeling of shame travelled through his body. “It’s ok Yibo, you were just tired” he thought while looking at himself in the mirror. “It’s time to get ready and work.” So, he did and headed to the set of sdc to give his best as always. 

///

“Xiao Zhan, we need to attend an event later. Roseonly and Ele.me are collaborating to upgrade the delivery service. It is really important for you to be there as you are the face of Roseonly. I will prepare your outfit and the driver will be waiting for you at 5PM. “said Zhan manager. 

  
“Sure" 

  
“Ah Zhan, also the cousin of the CEO will be attending the event. She loves all of your works and is exceptionally influential at their company, so please give her your full attention and sympathy. “

  
“I will. Thank you.”

  
“It is really important that everything goes well. It’s a big collaboration and everyone is looking forward to it. I know you will do your best!”

"Mhm" 

  
“Zhan are you okay? You not really talking much"  
“Oh yes, I’m fine. Just a bit tired but it’s okay. I will start getting ready soon.”

Xiao Zhan spent long hours and days thinking about Yibo. The younger boy that he cared so much but was not allowed to see, talk and touch. He yearned every day that he would have those long conversations about life with Yibo, that he would tease him all the time and playfully fight with him. What could he do now? Waste his time lamenting the harsh words he has once said to the younger boy in that December night? Or cry over the fact that he left his didi crying under the rain weeks ago? He was truly a mess...a person that always annihilated someone’s life and feelings. Xiao Zhan the biggest dickhead in the history.

  
“Just move on Xiao Zhan" he said to himself. “Yibo is probably better without you”. Zhan kept thinking of that while his make up artist did her job on his delicate face, but something deeply in his mind was wondering “what if he needs you too?”

  
One hour later, he was finally ready to attend that so special event. He wore a black oversized satin blouse and black high waisted jeans that perfectly fitted his waist making every girl jealous of how beautiful and slim he was. His makeup was almost unnoticeable but depending on the angle he was positioned, the light reflected on his soft features would reveal the shiny gold eyeshadow. Xiao Zhan was definitely a masterpiece created by the heavens with the most meticulous care and passion. Every detail of his body was as if he was drawn with the best pencils and brushes, and his sweet personality just came as a bonus. 

  
“You ready Zhan? His manager asked when they got into the car.

  
“Yes, just a bit nervous. I believe it will be a good night though.”

  
“It will Zhan, everyone loves you and missed you loads. Let’s go"

The car ride took less than 30 minutes. They arrived in their destination at the right time and the place did not fail to amuse them. It was an enormous building with holograms of roses reflecting on the walls. Every single window of that place was consumed by golden and blue lights that could be seen from miles away. It was just beautiful.  
Xiao Zhan and his crew entered the building and took the elevator to the last floor. They could already hear a bit of music from where they were and it was becoming louder and louder when they arrived at the room. “what the hell? Isn’t it supposed to be more formal?” he thought to himself. The room was full of people holding glasses in their hands and happily chatting with each other. Xiao Zhan noticed that a beautiful young lady was approaching them with a confident smile. 

  
“You guys arrived. How great! I can’t believe I’m looking at the beautiful Xiao Zhan. Oh my you are more beautiful in person. Breath-taking” said the lady. Her black hair was extremely long, she had a delicate face that at the same time showed confidence and determination...she was so pretty in Zhan eyes.

“My name is Mei Xiu, I’m working with Roseonly and I was the one who had the idea to make us collaborate with Ele.me. Took a bit longer to organise this party but here it is. I honestly think it will be amazing, don’t you think Xiao Zhan? Having two beauties to sponsor us helps a lot too...wow"

  
“Ah thank you so much for the opportunity Miss Mei!...Wait did you say two beauties?

  
“Mhm. You heard right my dear. I thought you knew Wang Yibo was working with Eleme. Gosh that boy helped them so much, the sells went up absurdly rapid, just like us when that sweet face of yours appeared in the ads...why you look so surprised? He’s gonna arrive soon “

  
“N-nothing. I’m happy we were able to do, to do that yeah.” Of course, how could he forget? Yibo worked with them so obviously he would be at that party too. But where was he? Was he late or something came up and he couldn’t attend? Zhan unconsciously started looking around the room from time to time. This place wasn’t really something he enjoyed that much, music too loud, too many people and alcohol. It was nothing like the other events he would attend and that made him a bit anxious. 

  
“Zhan, what are you thinking about huh? You look so serious. Come and dance with me a bit" said Mei Xiu grabbing Xiao Zhan by his waist.” I organised this party too, what do you think? A bit different from others, right?”

  
“Yeah definitely” responded Zhan a bit shy from how the woman in front of him held his waist.  
“Zhan no need to be shy! Let’s be friends yeah? I’m such a big fan, you honestly inspired me so much. You look a bit nervous tho, take this to relax" Xiu took a glass of liquor from the plate that the waiter was walking around with. 

  
“Okay" Zhan took a shot of it feeling the sweetness from that strong drink given to him.

  
“You are so cute”

  
The two adults danced closely to the sensual music that was playing. Neither one of them felt uncomfortable or had second intentions about it, but for the some people surrounding them it was different. They were staring at those two deeply with eyes full of lust and second intentions. “These two will definitely end up in bed later" someone whispered to the person close to them. The fucking person close to them, whose expression was so cold that the air around him felt different. “Y-Yibo...I-I didn’t notice it was you" said the man a bit louder. 

  
Yibo. That name made Xiao Zhan stop what he was doing to turn around and face the direction he heard those words. His happy expression, turned into cold and serious as well, without he even noticing it. In reality, Xiao Zhan eyes radiated love and longing, but it was hard to see with so many lights blinding them...so only the cold emotions were noticed.

  
“Zhange keep going! I didn’t know you could dance so well wow" said Yibo with a smirk on his face. 

  
The time had stopped for them. Their eyes were locked in each other and the loud music could not be heard anymore...it was as if it was only the two of them inside that crowded room. Xiao Zhan wanted to hug the man in front him...hug him and beg him for forgiveness. He wanted his friend...no, he wanted his best friend back. But Xiao Zhan didn’t, he simply couldn’t.

  
“Mei Xiu please excuse me, I need to go the bathroom.” Xiao Zhan passed next to Yibo without looking at him. Where was even this damn toilet? He left the room and roamed aimlessly through that long corridor that felt infinite. 

  
“ZHANGE" he heard again that deep voice calling him. “Zhan ge wait"

  
“W'what are you doing here? Xiao Zhan was nervous. NO, he was apprehensive, anxious, worried, surprised...amazed, warm, deeply lost in that beautiful face in front of him. Wait, what? 

  
“Zhan stop avoiding me, please. There is no one here that can take pictures of us and everyone is too busy drinking and having fun inside that room. Just talk to me” Yibo looked like a puppy begging his owner for attention. How could Zhan ignore him?

  
“How have you been, Yibo? 

“I missed you so much “

//

  
The training for sdc had finished earlier than expected, therefore Yibo could get ready calmly and attend a very important event that his manager told him about. He went back to the hotel and took a long shower that helped him with the sore legs. He headed to a studio where his makeup artist and manager was waiting for him. It took him one hour to get ready and 30 more minutes for him to take selfies. Well...the selfies were amazing. Yibo was wearing a dark grey velour shirt, which was covered by a short black buttoned coat. He wore black skinny Jean’s that revealed every muscle that he had gained from dancing. His make up was more noticeable, his lips were slightly painted in red and the shiny brown eyeshadow emphasised the beauty of his dark eyes.

  
Everyone thought that as the idol left work earlier, they would be able to arrive early to the event and have a good chat with everyone. Well...haha they were wrong. They arrived 30 minutes later, as Wang Yibo decided to take more and more selfies, which some of them involved his darling motorbike. As they entered that gigantic building in a hurry, Yibo couldn’t stop thinking whether Xiao Zhan would be there too. In the end, he was. Yibo noticed how there was a group of people gathering around something, and when he went to check, it was his dear colleague. Xiao Zhan was dancing in an extremely sensual way, that no one outside that room would believe if he told them. Yibo brain accidentally brought back those inappropriate memories of the drawings he saw the last night. “wow" he thought. But his attention got distracted when he realised Zhan was not alone, but dancing with a woman. A extremely pretty woman.  
Yibo felt empty.   
So empty.   
Yet, when those attractive eyes looked straight at him, he felt his body warming up. He had to go and talk to him, follow him and tell him so many things. It was his only opportunity, and he couldn’t let it escape. Fuck it if people would find it weird, fuck it if he was still feeling ashamed of his acts, he just needed to see his gege properly.

  
“ZHANGE" Yibo shouted as loud he could to get the attention of his adored older brother. 

  
Xiao Zhan looked so beautiful, so ethereal and so hot. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the older one. This meeting meant so much for Yibo, so so much and he could not even understand why, but he felt the feeling of euphoria and accomplishment.

  
“I missed you so much" 

  
“I missed you too Yibo"

//

  
Even though the two were practically 2 metres away from each other, it didn’t matter. The happiness surrounding those two was definitely real and they both wished for it to last longer...but life is not fair, especially for Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo.

  
“Yibo, are you okay?” Xiao Zhan asked immediately when he noticed the younger one turning so pale. “Do you need me to call someone? It’s better to go back!”

  
“Ge,no. Please!” Yibo begged. It was their only chance to talk, he couldn’t and he wouldn’t destroy that.” I just have a cold...it’s nothing”

  
“How? Its summer now and I know you always careful. What happened?”

  
“N-not-thing happened Ge...I- I just got a cold you know” if Yibo wasnt feeling so ill, he was sure his cheeks would be burning from embarrassment.

  
“Let me help you” Xiao Zhan said. He wanted to hold his DiDi and let him know he was there for him; he was going to take care of him and make sure he would get better. Unfortunately, that got interrupted when Yibo manager found them.

  
“Are you guys okay? YIBO what’s wrong?” he exclaimed and grabbed Yibo arm immediately.” I will take you home now! I will let them know you were not feeling well and we take some pictures another day...I hope he didn’t disturb you Mr Xiao. I know he really wanted to see you. I’m sorry for this" 

  
Yibo manager bowed slightly and with his maximum strength pulled Yibo from that place. The younger protested and repeated the same words “Zhan, please. Zhange don’t go”. His eyes filled with tears and once again pushed away from the person he cared so much about. 

  
“I’m sorry Yibo...but dont worry. I will see you soon didi”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if there is any mistakes.   
> College just started and I'm soo tired already😵


	7. Chapter 7

As soon Yibo left with his manager, Xiao Zhan went back to the party to bid his farewell. Zhan was of course a very polite and caring person, he couldn’t just exit the building leaving everyone who was there to see him ,behind. Firstly, he went to see Mei Xiu who probably was crazy drunk and dancing on top of some table. He informed her something came up and he had to leave. She looked sad when he told her that but immediately smirked when she realised Yibo wasn’t there anymore. Mei Xiu was not dumb , she was able to identify someone in love from far away. And those two exuded love. “ Okay dear, go do what you have to do" she said patting Zhan shoulder.

He whispered a thank you and left.

Xiao Zhan took his phone and searched for Yibo's manager number. Why did he had his number? Well, Yibo used to disappear a lot during the filming of CQL, sometimes riding his bike or just hiding in the middle of the vast forest they were located in. So, his manager trusted Xiao Zhan to tell them if things were okay, every time they lost sight of Yibo or couldn’t contact him, as he was the only one the younger warned before he vanished. Zhan did not really have to make any calls. He knew Yibo just wanted to be alone for a while. Having so many people around them 24/7 was exhausting, so he just made sure that every time Yibo went away, he would follow him to a certain point, just to make sure his manager would think they were together and not worry that much.

Zhan found the number and called. Yibo’s manager appeared to be quite happy when he heard Xiao Zhan voice...too happy. Xiao Zhan thought he would have to explain why he wanted to go see the idol and that someone would go with him, but instead, the sweet manager simply gave him the details of where Yibo was living at the moment and giggled a bit. ‘Ermm...weird' Zhan thought, but thanked the other person.

A while later,after he asked someone from his team to drive him to the location, Xiao Zhan was at the door of Yibo hotel’s room.

Evidently, he was wearing a mask, two hats almost covering all of his face and a big, fluffy coat that made him look twice as big. He was nervous, his heart could be heard from metres away he thought, and his small hands were sweating. Even so, he knocked...one minute passed. Two minutes passed and Xiao Zhan was already planning to go home. Maybe Yibo had fallen asleep.

“Zhange?”

Wang Yibo opened the door slowly. His face was still a bit pale and his beautiful hair was now messy. He wore an oversized white shirt and black shorts, that made Xiao Zhan want to punch him. “Why are you wearing just that? You are sick Yibo! Get dressed properly.”

“Wow. Never thought I would see bossy Xiao Zhan again. Are you gonna come in or?”

Zhan entered the room.

Cold.

Fucking.

Room.

“Yibo i swear down. You wanna die? Cause if this freezing room doesn’t kill you, I will with my own hands.” Zhan who was planning to take off that huge coat, ended up just taking off his mask and hats, as well his shoes.

“Zhan, wow. Calm down. I just feel quite hot and I’m used to this room.”

“I knew you weren’t human...I just knew it.”

“I don’t have food...I’m sorry. Do you want some water or juice?” said Yibo looking at the mini fridge near his bed. When he turned to Zhan, he had puppy eyes. They were so shiny and guilty as if Yibo was about to start crying there.

“No. It’s fine,Yibo. I just came here to check if you are okay. Are you not eating well? “

“ I have some food at the place I’m working now. It’s quite nice, so I dont really eat when I get here.”

“Yeah...i have seen. You still need to eat Yibo. It’s important”

“ZhanZhan I’m not like you who is always eating snacks and pretending it never happened. I can survive without food for a while. Come here, why are you so far?” Xiao Zhan was still standing at the entrance like a statue, while Yibo was laying on his bed comfortably. Xiao Zhan moved and sat close to him. The air felt heavy between them.

“I’m sorry"

“What?”

“I’m sorry for leaving you in the rain that day. Im sorry for not texting you. I’m sorry for just being a bad friend...it’s been quite difficult Yibo. I hope you understand. I know we haven’t seen each other for so long and everything happened so fast these weeks...I’m just really sorry “

“I was wondering If you would call Zhange...or text! I-I didn’t even expected you to meet me. I know things have been difficult for you and I don’t wanna hurt you more but before i wished you would call me...suddenly that wish disappeared after some months and i just felt so empty. I missed you so much and I cant stop thinking about you since the last time we met. So many memories came back Zhan...you are my old memory...very old indeed. “he giggled a bit, enlightening the mood.

“Ya Yibo how can you even tease me when you like this? I can just leave now, you know that right?"

“You won’t.”

“How do you know huh?”

“Cause you are here...you came allll the way here to check up on me"

“Ah"

“It feels like we are inside a fanfic.”

“What?!”

“Zhange, a fanfic. Dont you know our fans write so many fanfics like this about us? And they draw beautiful, splendid and naughty pictures of us. Its wow, you honestly should chec-"

“Wang Yibo shut up! You brat! You are just sick right now and talking more bullshit than you normally do” Zhan covered Yibo mouth with his hands. The younger eyes were fixated on him as if he was watching every movement Zhan did and examining every details of his face. It was overwhelming.” S-stop looking at me like that! Go to sleep . You need to get better and get to work.

“They so accurate...you get so shy when I look at you.”

“Wang Yibo you are delirious” Maybe he was, maybe he really was just saying those words because of the high fever affecting his head. Yibo teased him so much throughout these years that Zhan was used to it...but why did it felt so real this time? Was it true that Yibo stares affected him so much? Aish, why do you even care Xiao Zhan...just breath an-

“Yibooo, I got a call from someone from your company and they said yo-, Xiao Zhan?”Chen Xuan entered the hotel room freely as if she already had been there many times.’Probably she has’. Her hands were carrying bags full of foods and drinks. She looked surprised at seeing Zhan.

“Ah Miss Chen, hello. I, well Yibo felt ill when we were together...I mean we were in a event together and then he felt sick, so I came to check it he was okay.” Said Xiao Zhan a bit disoriented.” Now that you are here, I will leave.”

“Zhan you dont have to. You can stay a bit more” Yibo protested.

“Wang Yibo you need to rest. Have you eaten yet? Did he eat Xiao zhan? Before Zhan could answer, Xuan continued,” I have food here. Look! Also, you need to rest. You look so pale Bodi!"

“Mhm. I will get going then. Take care Yibo! Good to see you again Chen Xuan.”

“Same. Bye bye”

Xiao Zhan gave Yibo a last glance and made his way out of the room. He could still hear them chatting. “He’s better far away from you Wang Yibo" Xuan said. She sounded...irritated? Or, perhaps anxious? Xiao Zhan remembered Chen Xuan from his time filming “The Untamed". She visited Yibo once or twice when he had free time. They ate together and even watched movies together. The three of them. It was so rare though, that did not even cross Xiao Zhan mind that he would be seeing that girl again. She was lovely and extremely polite in Zhan's eyes. She was also very protective of her younger friend and tried her best to make him walk the “right path “in life. That girl was just a very good company. However, their last encounter wasn’t good at all. Few days before the Weibo Night Awards, he found her in his studio...not sure why she was there, but she gave him the dirtiest look ever and said something like “you and your crew are the worse" before leaving the place.

Obviously, Xiao Zhan was confused, did she know something? Did she hear something? Well, those were questions he would not know and she would not tell. Sometimes things are better to be hidden, to avoid hurting others. At least for a while.

“Chen Xuan why.did.you.told.him.to.LEAVE?! Yibo yelled “I haven’t seen him in ages Xuan!A G E S! And you say these things? What the hell?”

“Yibo chill man. You don’t look okay and I just thought it’s better for him to stay away. Maybe he was just here to get popular again, you know? His career kinda went down a bit so like if you two get photogr-“

“ARE YOU DUMB? Xiao Zhan is not like that. He would never, never do something like that! He suffered alone...he suffered in silence and never used anyone to get to the top again. It’s not his fault... it’s the people who talk too much, who spread fake rumours and love to hate on him. Dont you dare say that again!” Yibo who was lying in bed, was now standing up perfectly as if his body healed itself instantaneously.

“Yibo calm down...I’m sorry.”

“What happened to you? You used to tell him he was so polite and that you actually liked him. Your actions dont show that anymore. Did he do something to you?

“No..but he did something to you...” she whispered. Yeah, she felt bad for saying those harsh words but Yibo was her friend. How can she let him stay close to someone who destroyed him? How can he not even remember how coldly Xiao Zhan treated him? How he was so oblivious and hurt Yibo’s heart with just 3 simple words. Did Yibo chose to forget that or was he just playing dumb? What about the fight they had when one was drunk ? Also, the things she heard the older and his manager say...would he still be begging to see him that much if he knew?

“Yibo, do you like Xiao Zhan?"

“Huh?"

What do you mean? He is my friend so yeah"

“I dont mean it like that Yibo...”

“I... I just see him as a good friend. That’s it. Why?"

“It doesn’t seem like that. I will believe you though, but are you sure you are straight?”

“I think- obviously I am! I am that!”

“Hm. I’m sorry Yibo. Please just eat okay? You rarely get ill, so seeing you like this is very hard for me."

“okay. I’m sorry for shouting at you Xuan. “

“It’s fine.”

After a while full of silence, Yibo and Chen Xuan finished eating and Yibo laid in bed again. He had a horrific headache; the room was spinning and he felt like crying. These feelings were so different from the ones he was experiencing 1 hour ago, when his dear friend was there with him. Regardless, Xiao Zhan not being there anymore, Yibo felt a feeling of accomplishment. He finally had talked to his GeGe properly and they even joked and teased each other like the old times. Chen Xuan looked sad the whole time and just hugged Yibo, after leaving the room. Therefore, he was alone again. Just him and his loud, confusing thoughts. He closed his eyes hoping he would finally fall asleep. But no. 30 minutes passed...1 hour passed... 2 hours and he couldn’t. As soon he got up, his phone vibrated.

**Xiao Zhan** : Hey Yibo, how are you feeling? Wow it’s been ages since we text on here. I hope you are fine and sorry for texting you so late. I just got home and had to feed Jianguo. Anyway, I hope you sleep well Bodi. Goodnight

-Oh shit. Zhange! You are in your parents’ house? Why didnt you tell me you had a flight? Wow, you full of surprises! How is that fat princess? Lool I miss her...and I miss the owner too

**Xiao Zhan** : “She’s finee! I missed her loads. Wang yibo, you dont have limits!

-It’s TRUE tho!!! Maybe I will visit you...who knows? ¿

**Xiao Zhan** : Dont make me have Hope’s Wang Yibo. Anyway, I’m going to sleep. Talk to you later Bodi. Night!

-Goodnight Zhan!

With this, Yibo finally was able to close his eyes and sleep peacefully, with a thought in his head.

“ Just watch Zhan...I will be there"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, imagine if they actually read our fanfics and see the fanarts...THOSE fanarts.
> 
> SKSJDJDJ


	8. Chapter 8

Such a beautiful weather. Can it even get better?

Yibo was up very early. Earlier than any other day off he had, and even though he was still feeling a bit ill, his body got up from bed at 5AM in point. He had everything planned- get ready, go to the airport, buy a ticket to Chongqing and surprise his dear friend. It was the first time he had so much time off work. Usually, they gave him only one day to rest in I don’t even know how many months, but now he could finally relax and get his mind sorted. So many things had happened in the last few weeks and he honestly needed time for himself...away from that hotel and city. But close to that one person.

‘He is gonna kill me for sure.’Yibo thought. The image of Xiao Zhan’s face opening the door and seeing him there was quite entertaining for the younger man. But what could he do? Yibo warned him last night he would be there...now it depends on the older if he believed it or not. Wang Yibo was going to enjoy every moment in that place.

Yibo started to put his plan in action. He went to the bathroom and took a cold shower as it was hotter than usual. When he got out, he picked a white t-shirt with blue flowers pattern, denim jacket and shorts. AH, and he also prepared his luggage cause yes. He was planning to stay at Xiao Zhan’s house, and he knew that if the older didn’t let him...his parents would cause they loved Yibo. They never really met face to face because the time he went to ChongQing they were not home for a whole day and Yibo could not stay for that long, but every time Xiao Zhan video called them, Yibo was there and surprisingly, he talked quite a lot with them.

When everything was done at the hotel, he called his manager to warn about his trip. Luckily enough, the closer people who worked with him were very nice and did not ask a lot of questions. They sent him a driver and he made his way to the airport. The ticket was bought and he embarked in the plane at 9AM.

Three hours until he sees his GeGe.

The time passed quite quickly as Yibo spent most of it letting his mind wander to the many things him and Xiao Zhan could do and talk about. They both lost a lot of opportunities in the past and now they could finally make the most of it. Yibo never really blamed Xiao Zhan for disappearing from his life...he knew the man had his reasons and, although Yibo suffered so much in the beginning, he could never be angry at Zhan. But this is a story for another time.

When Yibo got off the plane, he felt the sun burning his skin. ‘This place is truly hot as they say’ he thought. Yibo called a taxi and made his way to the address Xiao Zhan had once gave him.

When he arrived, his heart was about to explode. Literally. Yibo could feel it in his chest as if it wanted to just come out and say ‘Hello! I’m just gonna go for a walk but don’t die'. He was obviously feeling confident and determined earlier in the morning, but now...now is different. Yibo was literally standing outside Xiao Zhan’s house door and many thoughts were starting to pop out in his mind. ‘What if he’s not home?’, ‘What if he will be disappointed to see me or worse...he is busy with someone else??’. As Yibo was filled with thoughts, he did not even realise that a person was standing behind him.

“Yibo?”

“XIAO ZHAN?”

“Erm..yeah?” Xiao Zhan was facing Yibo with a curious but concerned look. His hands were full of shopping bags and he looked so relaxed compared to the last times Yibo saw him. “Are you gonna help me...or keep staring at my face?”

“Ah I will help you Ge! Let me hold them for you". Yibo grabbed the bags and Xiao Zhan opened the door. His house was not very big, but it was extremely cozy and it smelled like roses. The first thing that welcomed them home was Jianguo, the sweet and lazy cat. She was so pretty and as soon she saw Yibo, she ran towards him...sitting on his feet.

“Wow, I can’t believe she still remembers you...it takes a bit for her to remember about me when I’m away from home for so long. I’m jealous Wang Yibo. My cat loves you more than me.”

“She does.I’m her favourite and you cant even deny it anymore! Where can I put the bags?”

“Just put them in the kitchen. Mum told me to leave it there and she will organise them when she’s home...well she threatened me to don’t do ‘too much’ while I’m here...Do you want anything to drink or eat?”

“Noo! I’m fine...” answered Yibo while he walked towards the kitchen to place the bags there. When he came back, Xiao Zhan was sat in the sofa patting Jianguo.” Xiao Zhan?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you not asking me why I’m here? You don’t even look surprised”

“Well Yibo, to be honest last night when you told me you would be here, I did not believe you, but something was telling me that maybe there was a little possibility you might...so yeah. Are you feeling better? “Xiao Zhan had a serious expression in his face, which made Yibo shiver s bit. Xiao Zhan did not look angry but he also did not look happy. Was it really a good choice to come here?

“I’m ok...Zhan ge if you dont want me here it’s okay. I can leave, I just wanted to see you.”

“Yibo...why are you saying that? You even making the puppy eyes.”

“I’m not! It’s just that you dont seem happy to see me...”

“Oh God, you still so needy Wang Yibo! I’m happy to see you, so happy. I’m sorry, I guess I just got used to this serious expression these past few months...been tough. Haha" Xiao zhan let out a forced laugh, making Yibo get closer to him...to comfort him and maybe hug him? He doesn’t even know, but he needed to get closer, so he sat next to Xiao Zhan.

“Ge you better be happy! I woke up super early just for you. I even prepared my luggage and bought a ticket...ALL by myself! “

“That’s so responsible of my Didi! You woke up early in your day off and even prepared your lugga...YOUR WHAT? Xiao Zhan jumped from the sofa so fast that Jianguo flew to Yibo arms.

“My luggage Ge. I was planning to stay here for the weekend you know? Its Friday today and it would be nice to spend my weekend in a different place, away from my co-workers. Am I not allowed Gege? Are you gonna leave a young man outside in the streets?”

“Y-yibo! Why didn’t you tell me?! I did not even prepare a bed for you. Maybe I will actually make you sleep in the streets Wang Yibo!”

“Ge chill. I can sleep anywhere, even in the bathroom if you want me to. Just let me stay...pretty please! I bet your parents would allow it cause they love me so much. I remember your mum even telling me to sleep here once when I had the opportunity. ALSO, it’s a rare opportunity...I never get so much time off work. “

“Jesus Yibo. You really talk a lot when you want something. Fine, when my parents arrive, we will get the things organised for you. Happy?”

“Mhm. Very happy! Now say sorry to Jianguo...she’s shaking! She literally flew to my arms Ge. You need to control your reactions. You’re already old...image having a heart attack.”

“Aish...you’re so annoying. “

And this is how Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo spent 3 hours of their lives. They teased each other, talked about their new dramas, played with Jianguo and ate snacks...but never mentioned the past.

When Xiao Zhan’s parents got home around 4PM, they were shocked and amazed with the beautiful new face in the room. Mother compliment Yibo good looks non-stop, while Father kept asking Xiao Zhan what Yibo likes to eat. They liked Yibo very much. As parents, they could feel who actually cared for Xiao Zhan and who was just there to take advantage of him...their sense became even better after Zhan became famous, as many people tried to get close to him. They knew Wang Yibo was a true friend and cared intensively for Xiao Zhan. So why not treat him as a son too? Xuan Lu and Wang Zhoucheng were loved by his parents, so one more person in their list would not be a bad thing.

“Me and my husband are making food very soon my dear. I hope you don’t mind waiting a bit more.” Said mother.

“Its fine! We ate some snacks, so please take your time.”

“Mum, we need to organize a place for Yibo to sleep. How are we gonna do it?”

“What do you mean Xiao Zhan? He can sleep in your room, can’t he? I mean, I suppose you guys are comfortable around each other?”

“WHAT?”

“I dont mind. I can sleep with Zhan Ge" responded Yibo with a smirk on his face.” GeGe, you are fine with it right?

Damn Yibo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hielloo, how is everyone?!
> 
> I'm dead sssksk. I'm having so many college exams now, so it's hard to post frequently. I will try my best to do it tho🥰 
> 
> I hope everyone is okay!!


	9. Chapter 9

Who would have thought that the so polite and respectful Xiao Zhan, is actually so selfish and dont wanna share his bed with a tired man like me?”

“Yibo it’s not that!”

Xiao Zhan did not mind sharing a bed with the younger man. He really didn’t. The thing is that it’s been so long since the two actually had physical contact. In the past they were always hitting one another, sharing small spaces and playing with each other’s hair...but what about now? It’s not like they would sleep on top of each other, but what if they accidentally touched? The probability of it happening was quite high and expected, not like other times that they did it by reflex without even realizing. Would Yibo be okay? Did Xiao Zhan entered the long list of people that Yibo would kill just with the look if they slightly touch him? There were so many unanswered questions.

“Xiao Zhan?” He heard the younger call him.

“Huh?”

“You just spaced out...if you really dont want me there, I can sleep in the sofa. It’s okay Ge.” How could he do that to the poor boy who came all the way to his house, while ill, just to see him.

” I will prepare it for you Bodi”. With that, something in Yibo face lighten up, making him look like a puppy who had just received food. Few moments later, the dinner was ready and the smell of it travelled around the entire house. ‘How I missed this' Xiao Zhan thought. When they were all sat at the table, he looked at Yibo who was sat in front of him. The mischievous boy was looking so happy and excited, that made Zhan smile wildly. Yibo looked at all the delicious food in front of him and Xiao Zhan noticed how he mouthed ‘wow' so many times. “When was the last time this boy had a proper home meal?” he thought.

When they finished the food, Xiao Zhan's dad cleaned the table and gave Yibo a towel. “Take this and go shower. There is a bathroom in Xiao Zhan's room, so you dont need to worry about using the one next to the kitchen. I noticed you are looking a bit ill, so please feel comfortable to shower".

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan shyly and both made their way to the room. “I will make the bed, and you go shower now!”

“Okay okay.” Yibo got inside it and turned on the water. The feeling of taking a shower there was different than in the hotel. He felt more free and comfortable...maybe because he was in a real house, with a loving family and his friend...he wasn’t feeling alone or empty, but happy and warm inside. When he got out of the shower box, he realised that his pyjamas were not there. ‘Seriously Yibo?’ he thought. The first instinct was to shout and call for help...and that’s what he did. “XIAO ZHAN GIVE ME MY PYJAMAS!”. He waited a bit but there was no response. “ZHAN GE"

“YIBO IM BUSY, COME GET IT YOURSELF! “Zhan shouted back. ‘Get...it...myself?’ Yibo repeated the words in his mind as if trying to come up with a plan on how to do that. He only had the towel wrapped up around his waist, how was he supposed to go and get his clothes? What if Zhan looked at him? What if...no. He shouldn’t be thinking that. They are both men, so there is no problem...right?

Yibo opened the door slowly and walked towards his bag that was already near Zhan's wardrobe. He did not look up once. Only went down and opened it, getting the things he needed from inside.

“Yibo, are you ok?” Zhan asked, which made Yibo freeze. “You look very red... almost like an tomato. And I dont just mean your face, your chest is quite red too...”

“I-im fine...why a-are you looking?”

“Why are you stuttering? Anyway, just go get dressed.” Yibo ran back to the bathroom and got dressed as fast as he could. He took a deep breath to calm down whatever he was feeling and stepped out of the bathroom. For his ‘luck', his soul almost flee out of his body. Zhan was laying on the bed, holding his phone while looking quite busy...but that bed. Why did it have to be exactly like that drawing that made Yibo lost his mind? “Oh, finally. I’m tired you know! Do you want to sleep?”

“where?”

“Why do you mean ‘where’? We already talked about it Bodi! In my bed...I mean you dont have to sleep next to me...I can sleep on the sofa.”

“It’s okay Ge...I’m not tired yet”

“Mhm, come sit here. I dont think its comfortable to just be standing there” Xiao Zhan made space for Yibo to sit and continued looking at his phone. The bed wasn’t big, but two people could sleep there comfortably. The red blankets were covering Xiao Zhan, while Yibo sat outside them as he was feeling super-hot. Maybe it was his fever coming back.

“Who are you talking to?” Yibo asked.

“Xuan Lu. She said hi to you"

“Oh. Cool. Tell her I said hi too”

“Mhm.” Xiao Zhan kept looking at the phone. Yibo was starting to feel a little annoyed. Wasn’t he supposed to give him attention?

“Xiao Zhan" nothing. “Zhange" he kept looking at the phone. “Gege.” Xiao Zhan put his phone down and looked at Yibo.

“Okay. I will give you attention!...Erm, are you sure you’re feeling okay? You so red.”

“Mhm"

“Take off your shirt...I can feel your heat from here"

“W-what?”

“Yibo, you are so red and I dont think wearing long sleeves will help you. I can give you something else. I’m under the blankets because I like it, but it’s not even cold Bodi.”

“Zhange I dont think it’s a good idea...” Yibo got up from bed and walked to the small window to get some air. Why was he feeling so hot?

“Aigoo, our Yibo is shy! That’s why you are red? Cmon, you can tell me...no need to run from me little Lion" Xiao Zhan loved teasing Yibo. To be honest, it was his favourite hobby and he finally got to do it again. Even though his insecurities about their opinions of each other, especially Yibo towards him, made Zhan anxious, he was still able to have a bit of fun. He got up and walked to where Yibo was ‘hiding'. “But, seriously...take it off.”

“Ge...ok.” Yibo looked away and got rid of his shirt. It was quite hard to breath as Xiao Zhan was so close to him. The embarrassment of being semi naked and the memories that the red blanket bed was giving him, made Yibo blush even more. He had been like this before, when they were filming CQL, but that time so many people were around them and the scene was so quick that he did not even care...but now the tension was too much.

“Xiao Zhan, this is very inappropriate you know? Our fans would go crazy if they knew we were in this situation right now...” Yibo said while getting even closer to zhan. ‘Maybe this will make him stop' he thought.

“Mhm...Wang Yibo you really know a lot about what they think. What have you been looking at Bodi?”

“Ge you would be surprised if you saw...but I better keep you pure and innocent."

" Mhm, I'm not the one who had hickeys all over the neck Yibo...I think you should be the one being kept pure Bodi"

"They dont mean anything tho" he felt the need to say that." Let’s go to bed now...I will sleep shirtless.” Responded Yibo. He could swear that he saw Zhan ears turn red, but preferred to ignore.

They laid in bed and the awkward silent took over. Well, until Yibo slapped Zhan arm with so much force that it made a loud noise.

“AISH YIBO! YOU BRAT!” Zhan turned to face Yibo and hit him in the head powerlessly. “You gonna pay for this!”

“What are you gonna do, GeGe?”

Xiao Zhan knew exactly what to do. He got ready and started to tickle Yibo. He knew the younger hated it and he’d always win those fights. The two got so into their own world that they did not even realise that Zhan ended up on top of Yibo, making it harder for him to escape. Yibo only understood what was happening, when Zhan accidentally pressed down against Yibo's lower part. That was a really, really bad idea. Their position, the bed, their looks were quite similar to the forbidden picture Yibo had struck in his mind, and that had a very known effect on him. The reason to it was still a mystery for Yibo.

“Xiao Zhan get off please!” He said urgently, and the older obeyed.

“is everything okay? Did I win again?” ‘How can he sound so innocent?’ Yibo thought. “Mhm, you won again, I just need to go to the toilet and then we sleep. I wont disturb you anymore.” He rushed towards the toilet and locked the door behind him.’

Why is this happening now?’ Yibo took a deep breath and looked down, just to see how hard he was. Perhaps, he had a problem? Or, his sexual frustration was hitting him at the wrong time. ‘I can’t do this here...I can’t', he thought the more he repeated those words, he would be fine but at least 5 minutes had passed and he was still in the same situation. ‘Fuck it' Yibo took his hard length once again into his big hand and stroked it slowly ...his whole body was shaking and that feeling of doing that while Zhan was waiting for him, made him feel more excited for some reason, resulting in his hand moving faster. It felt so good, but so wrong at the same time. Yibo tried his best not to moan, as the speed was getting faster and faster. He felt his breathing getting disoriented and he came all over the bathroom floor. Quickly he cleaned it, washed his hands and face and put a neutral expression to step out of there.

“Damn Yibo. If you had to use the toilet, you could have told me earlier...it took you like 10 minutes there.”

“Let’s sleep Ge.”

“Mhm". Xiao Zhan smiled at him, and when Yibo laid down, he went to turn off the lights and turn on the one next to the bed.

“What are you doing? How are you gonna sleep with that light on your face?”

“I still remember you are scared of the dark...it’s okay. Goodnight Bodi! Sleep well.”

“Goodnight Zhange"

That small gesture made Yibo so happy. He still remembered...

With that, he fell asleep next to that man he missed so much and had yet to discover a lot of things. It was okay tho, as long they never went separate ways again...he was satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter how tough the future is, 
> 
> As long as you’re by my side, I’ll be
> 
> Satisfied
> 
> \- Xiao Zhan (Satisfaction)


	10. Chapter 10

Xiao Zhan woke up first. It was still a bit dark outside, so he guessed that it was too early to get up. His body felt exhausted as if he did not get any sleep, but it was already expected as Yibo took almost the whole bed and he slept nearly falling from it. The little lion sleeping next to him looked very peaceful and happy. His chubby cheeks could clearly be seen and his rosy lips were slightly open...he definitely looked like an angel. That view of the younger boy, made Xiao Zhan smile and lift his hand carefully to touch Yibo’s hair. ‘You are so cute when you’re like this' he thought. His heart always beats so fast when he is around Yibo, and he yearns to stay close to him all the time. ‘It’s a friendship thing, I guess?’ in Xiao Zhan’s mind it’s always a ‘friendship thing’s, a strong friendship bond he has with Yibo. Many years ago, Xiao Zhan had quite a lot of friends, but as the time went by, he lost almost all of them and the word ‘friend’ became a strange thing for him. However, when he saw and got to know Yibo, he felt that the strange word started to make sense again...so maybe those feelings in his heart was only happiness for finding someone so close to him? Someone he does not want to lose again.

“Gege..” Yibo whispered. His eyes were slowly opening, making Xiao Zhan panic and take his hand off his hair. “What time is it?”

“Its still very early Yibo...go back to sleep"

“ Ge you are the one awake and you were touching my hair! So dont tell me to go back to sleep.”

“I-“was Yibo awake all this time? Xiao Zhan sat up in bed and looked away.” You should be sleeping anyway...Also it’s cold here, get a shirt! I don’t want you to get worse.”

“I dont wanna get up. I really dont Ge...just lay down Xiao Zhan...closer to me, and that way we will be warm.”

“Yibo...”

“Pleaseee Zhange" Xiao Zhan took a deep breath and placed his body near Yibo. Their bodies were not that close but he was still finding it a bit hard to breath and that boy did not make things easier for him. Yibo made the space between them smaller and closed his eyes.”Ge, have you ever had a character bleed?”

“That’s very random Yibo.”

“Just answer...”

“Mhm...when we were filming. It was quite hard for me to let go of A-Xian...the character personality and events quite got to me and I guess I confused fantasy with reality. I still think of it sometimes you know? I just hope he is happy with his loved ones...”

“Lan Wanji, you mean?”

“Well, A-Yuan too and the other kids...I really hope he got to meet Jiang Cheng and talk to him...they lost a lot of brotherhood time. I hope him and Wen Ning talk too...he deserves so much. But yeah, I mostly hope he is happy with Lan Zhan"

“I know Lan Zhan Is definitely happy being with him.” Yibo responded as fast as he could. His eyes were opened now...staring profoundly into Zhan’s eyes. “ I kinda had it too...he suffered a lot in silence and it affected me. The only character that made me stay awake during the night with millions of thoughts.”

“Mhm...it was nice filming it tho.”

“ It was...”

Awkward silence.

“Yibo...your friend Chen Xuan. She doesnt like me right?”

“I don’t know...she used to like you a lot but I dont know what happened to her that day. I’m sorry.”

“ Its okay...I just hope shes okay...Yibo, what’s your relationship with her?” What the fuck Xiao Zhan, why are you asking this? Aish.

“We are friends...well, to be honest we are best friends. I know her since I was little and she helped me and always supported me the most. As we got older, we kinda sleep with each other...just for fun and stress relief, I guess? I only see her as i friend though and shes lesbian so...I know she sees me only as that too.”

“Oh I see...”

“What about you ge? Have you been sleeping with anyone?”Yibo had the biggest smirk on his face. He slowly placed his index finger on Zhan’s little lip mole and traced it down his chin, then neck, Adam’s Apple and stopped near his clavicle.”Dont be shy...I’m sure the girl would be so lucky.”

“S-stop...that’s inappropriate to ask. You can’t go around asking people that...its a private topic!”

“It’s only us Zhange...we talk about everything! I will take that as a no then...”

“You’re unbelievable Wang Yibo!”

“Calm down old man. I’m just joking with you! But honestly...who would be able to resist you? You are so beautiful and have a young-looking face! Your eyes are really big and sweet...Can we even talk about your li-"

“Wang Yibo, shut up!” Zhan turned his body to the other side, where he would be unable to see Yibo face. How could he answer that question? It’s so embarrassing. It’s been a very long time since Xiao Zhan had slept with someone. His life became pretty busy suddenly and he did not have anyone close enough to him like Yibo...also, he did not want to have sex with a person just to release stress. It had to be someone special and that he loved very much. People can call him old, but nothing would change that belief. “I’m gonna sleep a bit more. If you need anything just call me...it better be a matter of life and death!”

“Mhm...thank you for keeping me warm. Sleep well.”

//

_Two young men were sat in the bed...a large and comfy bed full of blankets and pillows. It was a winter evening and the rain dominated the town outside that little house. Those two watched how the rain struck the window and formed different shaped raindrops. It was a happy environment...a very happy moment. The younger man placed his hands around the other man’s small waist and kissed his nape. The kiss was warm and wet, making him tremble a bit...the feeling was incredible. He turned his face to look at the younger’s eyes and then his rosy lips...he slowly approached those lips and gently pressed them with his own. They were so soft...those lips. He began to suck on the lower part, tasting the sweetness and desire. He felt the hands of the man behind him tighten around his waist, so he turned his whole body and sat on his lap, facing him...facing that beautiful face. Now the kiss was full of lust and longing, and the older man felt something press hard against his butt. That touch made him moan, making the other man change positions and place him lying on the bed. The younger started kissing and sucking his neck. It felt so good, that he couldn’t stop himself from moaning_

_‘Ah...Yibo...’._

//

“Ge wake up...Xiao Zhan! Wake up!” Yibo called him. Xiao Zhan opened his eyes and jumped a bit when he saw Yibo staring at him...weirdly. “ Ah finally you woke up! Were you having a nightmare?”

“A nightmare?” “Mhm...you were moving quite a lot. That made me wake up...and then you called my name.”

“Oh...” With that words Xiao Zhan remembered the dream. What the hell was that? How could he dream with something so...gross. He can’t be kissing his friend, who is way younger than him and even moan his name. “I’m sorry I woke you up Bodi. I cant really remember but it was probably a nightmare.”

“I see...its okay Zhange. It’s good you told me that, you know?! I was about to think you were having a wet dream and moaning my name!”

“I would never do that Wang Yibo...that’s just gross!”

“Mhm...sure it is.” Yibo answered. Those words that came out of Zhan’s mouth made him feel weird. He had heard those words before. When they used to spend a lot of time together, in their free time they would be playing and drinking. One day, when they got a bit too much of alcohol, Yibo remembered asking Xiao Zhan if he would kiss him in case Yibo was the last person in the world...the reason for that question was unknown...he simply wanted to know. Zhan who was already drunk because of one beer, responded coldly that he would never do that...he would never kiss Yibo because that was just too gross to even imagine. Yibo just felt sad. Not sad because his friend answered coldly with those words...but sad because in Xiao Zhan’s eyes he was too gross to even touch. Friends dont joke about that? Back in Korea, he would see many boys playfully kissing their male friends and then just acting as normal...even him did it once with Wenhan and they just teased each other afterwards. Was Xiao Zhan not that open minded as he thought?

“Erm...Yibo let’s get up? We cant really go out because he would be followed straight away so lets think of something to do inside the house. I already have something in bed for lunch!”

“In bed?”

‘I MEAN IN MIND! I have something in mind for lunch.”

The two took a shower, separately, and walked to the kitchen. In the entrance, a cute cat was standing as if guarding the place. Yibo’s eyes lighten up and he picked that little princess in his arms. ‘How cute you are Jianguo!’ She meowed satisfied and looked at her owner.

“Dont look at me, you cheater!”

“Dont talk to her like that Zhan! Look how cute she is...who is the best girl !”

“I wish I could record that for everyone to see it...a pity I cant. Well, I will start cooking now!” Xiao Zhan took an Apron from a drawer and wore it.

“What are you gonna cook?”

“XiaoLongbao, rice and I really want a chicken soup so that will be our lunch"

“WOW! Gege so talented. I’m sure it will be the best meal I ever ate.”

“I hope so. I also hope you are eating well Yibo...last time you did not have any food in the hotel. “

“Mhm...I know I try Ge...its a bit hard"

“ Dont worry! I will make sure you gain some weight today!”

Yibo smiled. It was nice to hear that and know that he cared about him. Xiao Zhan started preparing the food, and from time to time Yibo helped him cut the vegetables and some meat and chicken. He did not dare to do other things. If they wanted to eat a delicious food, it was better to let Xiao Zhan do all the cooking. The food took almost three hours to be made and Yibo could not wait anymore, and Xiao Zhan could not hear Yibo complaining anymore.

He put all the food in the table and attacked it. Yibo spent more or less, ten minutes complimenting the food and taking pictures of it. ‘Xiao Zhan is indeed a amazing chef’ Yibo told Jianguo, who nodded. When they were done, Yibo cleaned all the dishes and followed Xiao Zhan to the living room. The little Jianguo also followed behind with those little legs. 

“Ahh Zhange I feel so full! Honestly, you are amazing. I think I wont be able to eat the food that I usually buy.”

“Thank you Bodi. Everytime you came here I will make sure you cook for you!”

“Please do. What do you want to do now? Do you want to play a game? Do you have a Ps4?”

“Mhm...I used to play it with my cousins. But I’m not really that good.”

“Yeah I know Zhange...its okay though. It’s funny to see you lose”

“That’s why you wanna play you brat...I’m gonna show you I’m better now!” Xiao Zhan and Yibo started competing in a racing game and after 20 minutes, Zhan gave up. It was too humiliating.

“Its so not fair...I’m done with it Bodi! Dont wanna play this games with you again!”

“Hehehe it’s okay Zhan...dont cry my friend. I’m just too good.” “Shut up...you narcissist!” “Ge...can I take a picture of Jianguo? I really want one.”

“Okay...weirdo" Yibo took out his phone and positioned Jianguo in the sofa. She looked straight at the camera and seemed to smile. ‘You’re the best model” Yibo said. He press the bottom and took several pictures and showed to Zhan.

“They very cute but they should be more centralized.”

“Zhange dont be so nerdy! It’s just a pic...AH you should post it Ge, I’m sure everyone else misses her too! I will send it to you.”

“Mhm...you are right! Wait a sec...lemme just go here and...okay. Done! Posted.”

“Cool! And the credit goes to me, the best photographer.”

The two spent some more time talking and laughing. The moment was quite enjoyable and everything seemed to be back to normal, just as they were before.

“Ge...I need to go.”

“What? What do you mean? Didn’t you say you were gonna stay for the weekend? It’s only Saturday today.”

“I know...but my manager said they really need me back and they already bought the ticket to 7PM...and it’s already 4.30. I’m sorry Ge. Tell your parents I’m sorry we won’t be able to see each other. Someone is waiting for me few minutes away from here.“

“Yibo...that’s quite disappointing but I understand. Stay here, I will get your things from my room.” Said Zhan. He quickly run to the room and got the things for Yibo.

“Zhange...you are so fast!”

“Yeah...long legs you know. I grew up...not like some people here!”

“Did you hear that Jianguo? Your dad is talking bad about you.”

“Fuck you"

“Ge, thank you for everything. I’m really happy you allowed me to stay here and even cooked for me. I hope we can do that more times!”

“Its okay, you dont need to say thank you. I will always be waiting for you"

“Mhm"

“ So, goodbye Yibo"

“ Dont say goodbye...”

“Huh? Why?”

“Last time we did, we never talked again...so please dont say that word.”

“Yibo...then I will see you later Bodi. Have a safe flight and message me when you get to the hotel. Please don’t forget!”

“Mhm...talk to you later Xiao Zhan.”

They both stared at each other for a minute...perhaps thinking of how to leave the presence of one another...the warmth and happiness they felt when together. Or maybe how to bid their farewell...a hug or a handshake. However, they just smiled at each other and Yibo turned around, leaving that house he loved and that man he missed already. He felt a tear falling down and wetting his cheeks.

‘Why am I crying as if this is the end?’


	11. Chapter 11

The feeling of not seeing each other, the feeling of that day being the end of such a magical reunion that had just began, was more or less correct. Since that Saturday, Yibo and Zhan did not text. As promised, Yibo only warned him that he got safe to the hotel, but it was only that. Both men were busy with their schedules. Yibo was preparing for the finals in SDC, and Xiao Zhan was back at filming his new drama. However, it was not the first time that they had so much to do. There were many times before, where they would be running around to complete the work, and yet they tried their best to keep each other updated. This time was different though...everything was different now.

Xiao Zhan was sat in the changing room, waiting to be called for the next take of the drama he was filming. He had his phone on his hands and eyes glued to the screen. He could not lose any small moment of that show he got into few months ago. It was too overwhelming to see people compete, get eliminated or win, but the main person he could not take his eyes off was Yibo. Xiao Zhan secretly started watching Street Dance of China, when he heard Yibo was going to participate and that made him very happy as he knew that little boy loved dancing. Sadly, the show was coming to an end and so many things were happening in that screen- amazing dances, humble people, a LOT of injustices, but also amazing smiles of joy. ‘I’m so proud of you’ whispered Xiao Zhan when he saw Yibo jumping of happiness and hugging his team mates. ‘You guys were all amazing!’

“Xiao Zhan, are you talking to yourself now?” asked one of his colleagues.

“Ah sorry. I was just watching something. I got a bit too much into it haha”

“Let’s go. The director called you! It’s our last scene today.”

“Okayy!” He got up, and walked to do the job he loved so much. Zhan had a huge smile on his face and eyes full of satisfaction. The scene was not hard to film as there was more lines than fighting, so he finished it quickly and went to change to go to a hotel near the set. When he got into the car, Zhan kept looking at his phone in hope that one person would message him. ‘It’s been three weeks...why are you not texting me?’ he thought. Zhan had a completely different idea of what was going to happen after Yibo left his house. In his mind, they would be texting each other very often like in the old days and maybe, just maybe video call. It was really a shame that he got everything wrong.

Zhan got to the hotel and went straight to take a shower and change into his pyjamas. He took his phone again and went on oasis and saw how many commentaries there was about Jianguo and him. ‘Yibo was right...they really missed her.’ After, he went to Weibo just to realise through the posts that his birthday was coming up...only two more days and he would become twenty-nine. ‘Damn time flies. He said at loud. That realisation made Zhan feel a bit down. His birthday was so close, and yet Yibo was still silent. ‘He's probably busy so it is better wait.’

Instead of messaging him, he sent a message to Xuan Lu.

_Me: Heyy, how are you?? Busy?_

_....._

_LuLu: ZhanZhan! I’m goood. How are you?_

_Me: Tired! So tired Shije :(_

_LuLu: Are you sure it’s just that? Did something happen?_

_(‘How does this woman know everything’)_

_Me: Hmm...kinda_

_LuLu: Say it!_

_Me: lulu have you ever missed someone so much? Like sooo much that you can’t stop thinking about it?_

_LuLu: Yes, kinda. Why are you asking? Are you missing a certain person?_

_Me: NOO. Just curious!!_

_LuLu: Is Yibo okay?_

_Me: I’m not talking to him..._

_Lulu: I KNEW IT! Zhan you can’t hide things from me. You know, that right?! What happened?_

_Me: idk...we just not texting. Nothing happened and I’m kinda sad cause it’s my birthday soon..._

_LuLu: Wow. Never saw ZhanZhan sad because of that. I’m sure he is fine Xiao Zhan...probably very busy! Dont worry! <3 _

_Me: Oki...I dont really mind tho. It’s just not nice..._

_LuLu: you definitely do. I think everyone realised how much you care about him and the things he does. You just like denying everything...but you can’t do that for so long Zhan. You need to start accepting some things. It’s part of life. I hope you will understand it soon._

_Me: what are you talking about? Are you drinking again Lulu?_

_LuLu: Shut up Zhan!! I’m going to sleep now. I hope you think about what I said tho._

_Me: I will...even tho I still think you might be drunk. Good night! <3 _

_LuLu: Night Night!_

Xiao Zhan put his phone away and stared at the ceiling. ‘Deny everything.’ Since when was he ‘denying everything’? Hs friendship with Yibo used to be so healthy for a while...he never had to deny anything. If he was angry, he would tell him, if he was sad, he would tell him and if he was happy, he would show it to the younger...so how was he denying now? Yeah, he was kinda sad Yibo just forgot about him but it’s not like he cared that much. He missed him, but if Yibo was busy, he cant do much about it. ‘What should I accept? You too mysterious sometimes Xuan Lu.’

Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and tried to not think about it. Few minutes passed and he heard someone knocking at his door. ‘Really? At this time...if it is some crazy fan, I’m gonna have to go through a therapy talk with them then probably have to shout if they are too much and th...Mei Xiu?’

“Ah Zhan, sorry if I woke you up! I found out you are in the same hotel as me so I had to come here.”

“Ah it’s okay...it’s only 11pm. I’m used to sleeping way later than that Haha.” Zhan felt a bit weird, but he could not reject someone who just came here to see him, even if it was late.

“How have you been my dear? And that friend of yours...Yibo. Is he okay?”

“I’m okay. He is probably okay too. I don’t really talk to him that much.” Responded Zhan. Why is everyone asking about him today?’ “Ah please have a sit” he said pointing to a little sofa near his bed.

Mei Xiu sat in that sofa, still keeping her eyes fixed on Zhan as if she could read what he was thinking at that moment. She had the face of someone who had plotted something and was just waiting for the right time to attack. ‘So, Zhan came here and sit next to me.’ He listened to the older woman and sat in his bed close to her. Without Zhan expecting, Mei Xiu grabbed his neck and pressed her lips against his. Panicking, he tried to free himself but was unsuccessful. Zhan could not breath properly and that was not nice...he just didn’t feel anything. Even though he found that woman beautiful and attractive. After few seconds, she let go of him. ‘How was it ZhanZhan?’

“I’m so sorry Mei Xiu. You are very beautiful but I’m just not in the right mind-set for that. I’m very sorry. I hope you can understand!” Xiao Zhan answered trying to be extremely polite. He did not want to upset her at all. If it he was going to lose his job at Roseonly than be it.

“Hahaha it’s okay ZhanZhan. Haha you are so cute indeed! I’m sorry for kissing you like this too. I was just thinking about something and had to make sure it was true.Hahaha"

“Excuse me?” what is this crazy female dog talking about.

“Ah nothing nothing. I just thought that you could be into me when we were dancing that day in the party. But then...I just saw something that made me question it, and o just came here to make sure. I hope you can forgive me Xiao Zhan...I just want to be your friend! I hope Yibo won’t mind that too.”

“Huh? I-I I’m a bit confused...I’m sorry. Yes sure! Let’s just forget this happened! Mhm...erm do you want anything to drink?”

“Nah nah. I just wanted to let you know that next month you and Yibo will be participating in an advertisement together. Well, actually you guys will film the video separately but answering to each other questions. We decided that is not a good idea yet to put you two together in the video. It’s still a bit too early for that.”

“Yes. I understand!” “It’s going to be a big thing. I hope everything goes as planned. I’m going to leave now and I hope you have a good night!” Mei Xiu left the room with a huge smile in the face as if she had just won an award. Xiao Zhan just stayed there, looking and being unclear of what just had happened. Two people today in a short difference of time had acted extremely weird and left him with millions of thoughts in mind. ‘Why is everything today based on Yibo? And mystery surrounding us?’

Zhan went to bed with those things stuck in his head and fell asleep lost in his own imagination.

.... The two days passed quickly and Zhan still haven’t heard from Yibo. When he woke up on 5th October, his phone was full of happy birthday messages from his parents, friends and fans. They all wrote long paragraphs and posted pictures of him and with him in all social media. His dear fans created beautiful drawings, paintings, collages and even cakes for him...all for him. Zhan felt very loved and emotional. After all the storm, he was finally walking through the bright path and being able to truly smile. Yet, a piece of his heart was still missing...he wasn’t fully satisfied. Yibo did really forget about him and about his birthday. Fine, probably that is what he deserved after ignoring Yibo for so long.

Xiao Zhan continued with his day normally. People from his studio would hug him and wish him all the best and all those birthday things people say. When he got to the drama set, the director and his colleagues were waiting for him with a huge cake and even sang to him. It was a pleasant moment. As he kept looking at this phone, he received more messages from Lulu, Zhuocheng, Yubin, Ji Li, Zhanjin, Haikuan and all the others friends he made during The Untamed. In fact, he did not talk to all of them daily, but they all had a special place in his heart, that he will remember forever. Still, Yibo did not appear.

Evening arrived and it was time for him to go back to the hotel after a long day of work ,seeing and hugging too many people. The hotel room felt empty, it was too quiet and too cold. Or perhaps , Xiao Zhan was the one feeling all those things. Earlier, he had video called his parents and even talked to Jianguo. He even talked to his dear cat...a cat, but Yibo could not be bothered to just send him happy birthday. ‘ Its okay Xiao Zhan, hes probably busy...’ he repeated to himself.

Xiao Zhan got into the bath and closed his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath and washed himself. ‘ I’m not even twenty nine for a full day and I’m stressing like this' he said looking at himself in the mirror close to the bathtub. Zhan got up and dressed himself. His food was already made, so he just heated up and sat in the table, alone.

The clock striked 7PM and Xiao Zhan was just dying of boredom. He walked to the bed and threw himself at it. What else could he do apart from sleeping? He closed his eyes and blacked out.

‘ _Zhange_ ' he heard a faint voice call him from the distance. It was so distant that he could not distinguish if it was a dream or real. ‘ _Zhange_ ' the voice kept calling him, and the more it did, the more closer it seemed to be. Xiao Zhan opened his glassy eyes and saw an angelic figure in front of him. Yibo. Yibo was there, or was it a dream. ‘ Its a dream right? Yibo wouldn’t be here...he forgot about me.’ Xiao Zhan said, carefully lifting his hand to touch that delicate face.

‘Xiao Zhan, I’m here!’ Zhan heard the voice more firm now, which made him jump out of the bed immediately. “ Y-Yibo! How did you get into my room?” his heart was beating like crazy and at the same time he was happy for seeing the person he wished so much, he was also embarrassed for acting so vulnerable in front of him.

“ its not that hard. They know me so I was able to just get the card to your room. Just a smile and a autograph and I was in. Honestly, if I wanted to kidnap you, it would be so easy.”

“You’re too little to kidnap someone Bodi.”

“ And you are too old...By the way, happy birthday Zhange! “Yibo was smiling widely, making his eyes close a bit. His face looked quite tired, but the smile was so warm and cute, that made Zhan involuntarily hug him. His arms were wrapped around Yibo’s neck, making the younger who was sat in the bed, fall on top of Zhan. The hug was so tight, almost intoxicating but Zhan could not let go. It was the first time they hugged like that. “Ge, you are too strong...I cant breath.”

“Sorry...i thought you forgot! I’m just happy.” He said, letting go of Yibo.

“How could I forget if it was everywhere...if I went on Weibo there was tour face, if I was outside my building, your face was there, even if I went to the toile-" Yibo was interrupted by a hard slap in the shoulder. “OUCH THAT HURTS!”

"So you just remembered because of that...”

“I’m joking Zhan. I would never forget your birthday! Even if you did not even wished me a happy birthday on mine.”

“I’m sorry Yibo...”

“ Its fine Ge! Why are you so serious? We should be celebrating...I bought some of your favourite snacks and just a bit of beer.”

“Wow! Thank you...but why didn’t you message me?”

“I...I was actually waiting for you to message me. I just wanted to give you a bit of space and time...So I thought It would be better to wait for you to do it first. "

“I was waiting for you...all the time."

“ I’m sorry Gege. But now I’m here and we going to have fun!” Yibo left the bed and carried a small bag he had near him to the table. From there, he took out crisps, two boxes full of sushi ,3 beers, and one orange juice. Xiao Zhan looked at the juice funny, and took it into his hand. “What’s with this juice? Is it for you, little baby?"

“Its for you Gege. I’m only letting you drink the beer when you feel tired. If you drink it now, you are just gonna get drunk and be a pain in my ass.”

“ Pft...fine then!...WOWWW GIVE ME THE SUSHI! I haven’t had it in so long Bodi! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Xiao Zhan took one box and ran back to his bed. He opened it and felt his eyes tearing up. “Wow...they are so beautiful. Time to attack!”

“ Ge I did not even start mine and you already eating it. You really love food! “said Yibo going to sit next to his friend.

“I love sushi so much Yibo. It’s my life!...AH congratulations...on SDC. Everyone did amazing!”

“Oh, so Zhange watches me?”

“I watch the show and I just happened to have time the other day to see you all happy and jumpy.”

“It was fun to participate in that. Gonna miss it....WOW Xiao Zhan you already finished? Damn"

“ I was craving this for so long okay? It was too good...i want my beer!”

“ Ge...orange juice is better! Cmon I dont wanna babysit you!”

“YIBO! I’m so quiet and nice when I’m slightly drunk so you don’t have to worry okay? Pleasee, you already made me happy with the sushi so give me the beer!”

“Aish...okay. if you do something stupid, dont blame me!” YIbo opened the beer for the older man, acting as a little child now, and gave it to him. Xiao Zhan eyes were sparkling and he drank it as if it was water...making Yibo a bit worried about the consequences that were to follow.

‘Erm...Zhange? Are you okay?”

“Mhm. Thank you Bodi! See I’m fine.” Xiao Zhan placed the beer on top of the drawer next to him. His cheeks were a little flushed and his eyes became instantly tired. “Why are you looking at me like that Bodi? Am I that handsome?”

“You’re dumb. The older you get, the dumber you become. Are you 3 now?”

“YA respect me! “

“Okay...I have something for you. Close your eyes.” Yibo made sure Zhan eyes were closed. He got up from the bed and went to get something from his bag. He placed it gently in Zhan’s hand. “ You can open your eyes now.” When Zhan looked at his hand, he saw a small white box with a golden lace. Inside of it there was a white gold necklace with a cute little bunny smiling. Zhan touched it delicately and felt a tear falling down his eyes. “ it’s really beautiful Bodi. Thank you!” he got the necklace and tried to put it around his neck. Unfortunately, Zhan wasn’t able to do it by himself as his head was affected by the alcohol. Yibo sat behind Zhan and helped him put that adorable bunny necklace. “ I’m always gonna wear it!”

“ You better. It fits you!”

“ I love it...” Zhan turned his neck slightly to face Yibo and say thank you again. However, as soon he turned, their faces were extremely close to each other. So close that Zhan could count how many eyelashes Yibo had. Due to the effect of the alcohol (or not) Zhan touched their noses together. 

"Bodi...have you ever had a huge urge to kiss someone?”

“Ge...”

“ The urge so big that you even dream about it. You just need to touch...that...person.” Zhan eyes slowly closed with each word that came out of his mouth. His lips gently touched the other man’s one. The impact of their lips touching, sent a electric impulse to Zhan’s whole body, making him tremble a bit. Although Xiao Zhan initiated the kiss, Yibo was the one who continued it. The younger one, turned Zhans body to face him fully and pulled him closer by the waist. He sucked on the older's lower lip and carefully asked for permission to taste him deeper with his tongue. That kiss was completely different from the one Mei Xiu stole from Zhan. There was shyness, longing and lust involved. Their minds went blank and they could only focus on tasting each other. The speed of the kiss increased, making Yibo squeeze harder Zhan’s waist. That simple movement made the older let out a quiet moan. With that, Yibo opened his eyes and separated their bodies.

“Xiao Zhan! I’m sorry! I, I dont know what happened...that’s so wrong. I’m so sorry! I know you dont like it.” Yibo was feeling too overwhelmed. His mind wandered off to the time Zhan said he would not kiss him even if he was the last person in the world. He felt guilty, felt dirty and horrible. All of that cause that kiss had an effect on him.

“Bodi I’m sorry...I dont know why I did that.”

“Let’s just think of it as a way of thanking each other...Its nothing wrong, right?”

“Mhm...” Xiao Zhan responded. His eyes could not look up and he felt ashamed. ‘Why did his body react like that towards Yibo, but not Mei Xiu?’His thoughts got got interrupted by a knock in the door. “At this time?”

“Zhan wait here! I will open for you, okay? Wang Yibo ran to the door and opened it slowly. Zhan noticed how a short legged cat rushed inside the room and jumped gracefully in bed. “Jianguo?” Following her, his parents appeared. They were right in front of Zhan...smiling at him and holding a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses.

“I can’t believe it...what are you guys doing here? How?”

“ZhanZhan, Happy birthday my baby! I’m so happy to see you!” said Zhan’s mother. She gave Yibo the rose to hold and hugged her beloved son.

“Yibo helped us prepare everything. Sadly, the plane was a bit late and we just arrived now. You truly have a good friend, my boy.” Father said.

"He helped?” 

“Ah it’s nothing Zhan. I just told someone to pick them up at the airport and find some tickets.” Yibo lied. He bought the first-class tickets, after messaging them nonstop for a whole week, trying to persuade them to accept it. Then, he sent a driver after them and paid an hotel room for the night. It really wasn’t much for him. He admired those two people and wanted to make his friend happy.

“Zhan, have you been drinking? “mother asked, analysing his face

“Just a little bit. It was one bottle mum.”

“Hmm! You so bad at drinking...honestly, I don’t know from where you got that. Me and your dad are great at taking alcohol.”

“Muuum,stop!”

“Okay, okay. Look we bought you these flowers my dear. Give it to him Yibo..as you gave the idea too!” Yibo looked at them and then at Xiao Zhan. He walked closer to him and noticed how Zhan was trying to avoid eye contact. That made him smile shyly. “Zhan, your parents picked the most beautiful flowers, so I hope you like them.” He extended his arms and took Zhan’s hand, putting them there. Xiao Zhan parents stared at them curiously and with a big smile.

“T-Thank you guys... I’m really happy you are all here! Even Jianguo...I honestly thought this year I would not celebrate my birthday. I thought I would spend it alone, but you all made my day so much better.” Xiao Zhan said feeling his heart warmer. “I will try my best to make you guys proud and I hope we can spend more days like this together.” He looked at Yibo, who was staring at him so affectionately that made his face turn red.

“Happy birthday Xiao Zhan!” all of them said happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XIAO ZHAN!!! OUR BABY DESERVES THE HAPPIEST DAY EVER❤❤
> 
>   
> @Delulu_D_Yizhan
> 
> if anyone wants to follow me on twitter👀 I just started posting stuff and have no idea what I'm doing


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy! Hows everyone?
> 
> So, I was going to post last tuesday but with what happened to Yibo, I personally felt that I shouldn't write anything about it. Then, college work came and boom I just found time now to write a little chapter. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it! Interact with mee, I'm a lonely turtle🥺

Really? What is love? What is your definition of love? Towards an 'love interest'?

When we search for that simple word, we get a simple definition. ‘An intense feeling of affection.’ But how can we truly define something that can have a variety of interpretations? Someone might understand love as being a comfort zone that we, as humans, need to find in order to survive...or perhaps someone might understand love as just a deep feeling that cannot be explained, but only felt. For Xiao Zhan, love had no definition. It was something that, for him personally, could not be put a label. When he was little, he would tell his mum he loved everything. He was in love with the cute flowers he took care of, he was in love with the birds singing every morning next to his window, he was in love with his pillow, cat, drawings, etc. When he grew a bit older, his thoughts about the word ‘love’ changed. He could not love everything, only like them. Love was just something too deep to feel. How he found about that? He met a girl in university, a girl he liked very much and did everything for her...but the farewell day arrived and he realised that what he felt wasn’t really love. If it was, they would have never separated. Well, at least that’s how he thinks about it. Love cannot be explained properly, only felt and those who faithfully love someone, will never separate from them...no matter what. They will stick to each other, in the bad and good moments...and love every little bit of one another. He still has a lot to learn though...

However, one can be quite oblivious about their own thoughts of ‘love’, and wrongly assume that what they feel is the normal definition of ‘intense feeling of affection’, and possibly think it sadly may not last long.

Since Zhan's birthday, he could not stop thinking about that shy kiss he and Yibo shared. The feeling of their lips touching, was something that Zhan never experienced in his life. Perhaps, it could be an exaggeration as he was drunk, but the kiss felt as if something new was awaking inside him. Something that was buried deep in his heart for a long time, but it was finally freeing itself. It was just a delicious feeling that Xiao Zhan was craving for, even if it was wrong...very wrong.

During the night of the little party, Yibo slept on the same bed with Xiao Zhan, while his parents went to the room next door. As they were both tired and embarrassed, they did not dare to communicate about what happened and simply fell asleep with their backs facing each other. The next day, Zhan was alone again as Yibo had to go to his work and his parents had to go back to Chongqing. He was happy though...so happy the most important people in his life were there to celebrate with him.

As the week went by, Zhan had to deal with a lot of things, including his again busy schedule and also, Yibo. He wanted to give all of his support towards the younger one after the incident happened. He kept messaging Yibo with positive feedback and funny memes until the younger was forced to smile. He knew Yibo was going to be fine, he was a strong person with a strong personality. Therefore, when he finally sent a smiling selfie to Zhan, he finally relaxed. Seeing that little lion happy, was the most important thing in his life.

**6AM**

“Yaaa Zhange, have you eaten yet? You always talk about me not eating, but I’m worried about you too! You better eat properly...don’t make me stop what I’m doing, just to go to you and feed you! You know very well I would do that. Anyway, I will message you later...I need to go record for DDU. Byeeee.”

**1PM**

“Hey Gege, I hope you’re okay! I saw some pictures of the drama you’re filming...you look so good Zhange! So manly and confident! But i still hope you ate something...I’m trying to eat a soup now. I remembered how you said I should always eat properly and never skip meals. Talk to you later!”

**8PM**

“Xiao Zhan Ah, why dont you reply?? You dont wanna talk to me anymore? Zhange finally realised he is too good to talk to a guy like me?! Okay okay. I understand! Text me when you can. I will be waiting for you. As always.”

When Xiao Zhan got to the hotel room, he put his phone to charge. Being without it for the whole day almost killed him. It’s not that he was obsessed with it, but he had a feeling Yibo would spam him with messages...and he was right. When the phone turned on, it vibrated so much as it was receiving all the messages and pictures Yibo had sent him. ‘So needy.’ Zhan thought as he read the messages.

His heart skipped a bit, as always, when he saw Yibo, his pictures, his messages and his sweet voice. ‘I really should not feel like this towards a guy...especially Yibo...my didi.’ Zhan said at loud. For him, the way he felt towards Yibo was not right, but those feelings were just intensifying throughout the years. To be honest, when they were recording CQL, he thought he confused the feelings of Wei Ying for Lan Zhan, as his feelings for Yibo. That caused him to get so stressed that he needed a time away from all of the drama. Then, when they had to meet again for the interviews and concert, he just could not stop himself from attaching even more to Yibo...even when they went separate way, those feelings were still there but just hidden. He could not understand them at all!

To lessen his confusion and pain, he would go every time he had a chance to his favourite place in Shanghai. It was a beautiful garden that he discovered some time ago. It made him calm, and he took the opportunity that people did not go there often, and planted different flowers. His favourite ones, were the roses. Even though the place was filled with different type of flowers, those Roses he took care so carefully, would dominate the place with a sweet smell. Ah, it was so great. He felt so connected to that little space.

“Calm down Xiao Zhan! It’s just friendship...you just to attached to him...it’s just friendship...just friendship.” He repeated to himself. “Okay time to answer!”

**9PM**

“Heyy Bodi! How are you? Sorry for not answering...my phone died:( Yes, I did eat...and I’m going to order something now. I hope you are okay and happy!

**Yibo** : Gege...I thought you died! I’m so tired...I wish I was in my bed rn.”

“ Awww, what time do you go back to the hotel?”

**Yibo** : Probably at like 11...then I need to leave again at 4.

“Damn...you work very hard! Well done Bodi"

**Yibo:** Zhange...we need to talk about something.

(Fuck)

“What is it?”

**Yibo** : In your birthday...like the kiss. I mean we dont have to talk about it, but it was just stuck in my head...I just wanted to know if you’re ok

“I'm sorry! I’m so sorry Yibo! I should have listened to you and not drunk anything. It was a careless act and I’m the one to blame. I hope you did not get mad.”

**Yibo** : How could I get mad? You were just drunk as you said...it didn’t mean anythin right? For you it never means anything...

“Yeah...it didn’t. We are friends. We shouldn’t kiss like that!”

**Yibo** : Your lips were so soft GeGe...your cheeks were bright red and you looked like you really enjoyed it. The girl that will be your future girlfriend is gonna be so lucky. I bet she will get turned on just by seeing you like that...and that quiet moan...wow.

“WANG YIBO SHUT UP! Dont joke with stuff like that! U are always a BRAT!"

**Yibo** : Hehe sorryy! You can take it as a joke then...

“Well, it was not only me that seemed to enjoy it. Lao Wang kept sucking my lips so desperately and pressing on my waist so hard. How lucky it will be your future girlfriend!”

**Yibo** : Zhan, the person will definitely be very lucky! I’m going now...I will talk to you later. Sleep well bunny!

“Sleep well puppy!” ‘What the actual fuck!?’ Zhan thought. What kinda of conversation was that? The fuck is happening between us two? Nah, you’re straight Xiao Zhan! Its fine...its cool.


	13. Chapter 13

Yo, Xiao Zhan are you free tonight?’

The gym was pretty empty for a Saturday night, which made Zhan’s life way easier as he could use the machines freely and people would not be taking pictures of him secretly. He was training in that place for a few hours now and his muscles screamed for help, therefore, he grabbed his small water bottle and sat on the floor close to the window. Xiao Zhan took a glance at the busy Shanghai outside that little gym, and could not help but look at it for a bit longer. His mind wandered off to the day he met Yibo under the storm, making him smile faintly and wonder what would have happened if they never crossed paths again. Scary thought though. He shook his head and went to look at his phone, that contained many notifications and messages. One from his puppy. ‘Free tonight?’ he thought before replying with a ‘Why?’.

‘Yixing is preparing a party just for people close to him and he asked me if you’d like to come. Please say yess!’

‘Yixing? How does he know you talk to me?’ Zhan replied. Obviously he trusted him but it was not a really good idea to be spreading to everyone Yibo and him were talking again.

‘He is a close friend Zhange and I kinda mentioned it by accident...’

‘I don’t know Yibo...if people see us together its gonna be a huge problem. I don’t want any more drama.’ His life was already complicated, he was not not going to risk affecting Yibo life and career. If a fan saw them there together, it would be over for both of them.

‘Gege you are saying it again! But phones are not allowed there! I promise you its gonna be safe and I’m almost at my place in Shanghai. I know you are there too! The party it’s at 10...no one is gonna think a bunch of celebrities are having a party right under their noses. I know you are worried but I would not do anything that would put you in danger. Pretty pleaseee Gege!’

‘Aish this kid is persistent’. Xiao Zhan ended up accepting Yibo offer, but AGAIN when was he even able to deny anything from that boy? He got up and made his way back to the hotel. These days were calm for Zhan. He would only go out to film the drama or adds, and in his free time he would record songs, draw and visit his little garden. He also had Mei Xiu sending him messages about all kinds of things, but especially about Yibo and how excited she was to finally work with both of them. Honestly, to Xiao Zhan she seemed a bit psycho, but how would he even say that to his boss?

When he arrived at the hotel, Zhan went straight to take a warm shower to ease the muscles pain. ‘Aish I’m getting old.’ After coming out of the shower, he stared at his wardrobe...so many clothes but none that would fit a party. Ten minutes passed and Zhan gave up, just grabbed a casual white shirt and black jeans. ‘Not my fault if I look homeless...Yibo’s fault for telling me last minute.’ He sprayed some perfume and made his way to the address the little brat sent him.

The place was located in a quite isolated part of the city and more or less 50 minutes away from the hotel Xiao Zhan was staying. If he did not know Yibo, he would have thought he was about to get kidnapped and killed. There were only two or three houses around in that vast land, so he thought ‘where the hell is Yixing doing his party?’ Zhan parked his car and called Yibo, while looking around to see if some serial killer was going to appear out of nowhere and murder him. For his ‘luck', Yibo was not picking up and that place was getting creepier and creepier by time. Five minutes had already passed and there was no sign of human life. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes...twenty minutes, and Zhan decided to turn back and leave. When he was starting the car, a loud noise came from the back, making Zhan jump. As he looked through the mirror, he saw two tall men laughing.

‘Fuck this!’ Xiao Zhan stepped out of the car and walked towards the younger man who changed his face from happy to frightened. Zhan lifted his hand and gave that man a furious hit on the shoulder.

“AISH ZHANGE! WHY ARE YOU SO AGRRESIVE?!”

“YIBO! Do you even ask? Are you okay in the head? I waited for 20 minutes in this shitty place and you scare me like that? What if I ran you over?"

“Ge we planned to meet at 10...and its 10 now. I think you arrived a bit too early! So, it’s not my fault. Breath man, you don’t want wrinkles in that beautiful face.” Yibo said with a devilish voice.” Let’s go! “

Zhan smiled and bowed at Yixing who was just observing them two, and then followed Yibo to a little house. When they opened it, the house was just like any other house, but as they went down some old stairs, the place was huge. There were many people inside already and the song was super loud. He recognised many artists, and felt a bit starstruck. They were all dressed amazingly, with clothes that screamed expensive and shoes that were shiner than diamond. Involuntary, Zhan covered his body. “ Have fun guys!” said Yixing.

“You look so good Zhange. The most handsome guy in this party!” Yibo complimented him. Just then, Xiao Zhan realised how beautiful Yibo was looking. He was wearing a red shirt and jacket, with grey pants and black shoes. His lips were quite red too, which made Zhan giggle as he remembered how Yibo said he never wears lipstick when not needed.

“What are you laughing at Ge?”

“Nothing Bodi! You look really good too,so handsome and cool...way more handsome that me and all men here!”

“That’s impossible Xiao Zhan. You are so pretty!”

Blush.

Blush.

Blush.

“Shut up Yibo.”

" Here eat this rice cake! It's so good!"

The two men chatted for a bit longer, until Yibo decided that it was his time to shine and show his dancing skills to everyone in the party.

All gave him space and screamed louder and louder when the moves intensified. They were quick but slow, smooth but rough, however most certain word for them was ‘sexy'. The way his body moved in sync with the songs, sometimes making his shirt go up and reveal his abs, made all women sigh. His red clothes and lipstick made him look even more gorgeous. But the one thing that catched Xiao Zhan attention the most was the way the younger was staring at him. Those dark eyes did not leave Zhan for a second, and it was as if Wang Yibo was the predator, while Zhan was the defenceless prey. If eyes could eat, Xiao Zhan was the main dish. (Okay this makes more sense in my language.) When the music stopped, Yibo bowed while everyone was cheering. He looked at Zhan and smiled. A moment later, he left the dancing area and entered a room.

Xiao Zhan remained there, hidden in a corner away from most people...sometimes talking to Yixing and some other people that passed, but mainly just waiting for his friend and eating. From far, he saw Chen Xuan walking in his direction. Her face was not happy at all, and she probably was capable to kill anyone who confronted her, which made Zhan a bit worried.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Her hair was messed up and she definitely had too much to drink.

“Yibo and Yixing invited me...why?”

“You should not be here! You know what will happen if Yibo is seen with you?”

“He said no phones are allowed here and it’s a pretty deserted place, so I don’t think there will be any problem. Please calm down! I know you worry about Yibo. I do too, but-"

“Shup up Xiao Zhan! Do you really? You never cared for him! You are just a selfish man that cares about his career, and despises other people’s feelings! You are the worse person I have ever met in my life...I can’t believe Yibo enjoys your company! He must be BLIND.” At this point, Chen Xuan was shouting, but no one seemed to notice or care as the music was super loud again and half of them were already drunk.

“Please, let’s talk about this another time. There’s many people here...please!”

“Oh yeah? Right, I forgot you like to do everything secretly. For example, you loveee talking about people behind their back!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“STOP PRETENDING XIAO ZHAN! Last year, in December...I heard everything! I heard you and your manager...I heard how you guys were talking about Yibo. I-I thought you were such a good person, that’s why I went to your company to talk to you and thank you for being such a good friend to Yibo...but then I heard. Your manager was saying how you don’t need to stay close to Yibo anymore, as you are famous enough! You just agreed, and said you would ignore him because you don’t care...How could you say that Xiao Zhan? He suffered...he fucking suffered.” Chen Xuan had tears in her eyes and breathed heavily. Zhan wanted to comfort her and tell her that he is sorry, but he was also angry for the misunderstanding that was happening.

“Days later, he told me you guys got into a fight...that you told him you never want to see him again. Ha ha. That idiot thought you were only saying that cause you were drunk and in a bad mood...but when you ignored him in the awards night. Oh God. It only hit him when he got to the hotel, and you did not even send him a message to apologise... Still, he waited a bit more. You destroyed him so badly, that finally after a few months he completely forgot, or pretended, that nothing happened. Everything was buried in his unconscious mind. He did not mention you once, but he was always, always Xiao Zhan, feeling ill. He did not sleep properly; he was not even eating properly! I’m so dumb that I just understood it recently. It was all because of you. He had a fucking panic attack when he heard your voice after so long in the radio. Do you know why? Do you know why he felt like that? “

"I’m sorry...I’m so sorry! I- I did not know any of this. Chen Xuan I’m so sorry...I dont know!”

“Ha, you two are just so ignorant. Fine. I’m not gonna expose my best friend for something he did not even realise himself, but you. You better not hurt him anymore! You better do something and help him heal completely. Because YOU caused it. Looking at you with that clueless face disgusts me!” the girl was pale. So pale that Zhan was scared she was going to faint, so he grabbed her hand. “Leave it. I’m going home.”

"I’m sorry... This was all Xiao Zhan could say. He felt terrible. Be felt like a monster, for something he did not even do. Yes. He ignored Yibo, which was so cruel...but not like Chen Xuan had mentioned. He had his reasons, but he was unable to say them at loud. So, they were just stuck in his throat, begging to come out one day. He felt a tear going down his cheek. ‘I’m sorry...’

“Zhange! I’m her- what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Gege, what happened?”

“Yibo I wanna go home. I will leave now.”

“ I’m going with you.”

“What? No...”

“Yes. I’m gonna send a message to Yixing, and I will drive you to my house. It’s pretty close to here. Plus, I won’t let you drive alone in this state.”

“Mhm.”

Both left the party. Yibo got inside Zhan's car and made his way to the house. It was only 20 minutes away, but the awkward silence was torturing him. Xiao Zhan kept crying in silence and Yibo felt hopeless. He had never seen the man cry like this before. Although, he wanted to talk to him, he respected Zhan’s privacy.

After, few minutes they got home. The silence followed them inside, until Yibo could not bear it anymore.

“Zhange, did someone hurt you? I will go after them, and I will break their le-"

“I’m old enough to take care of myself...”

“Zhan, then why are you like this? You were fine! I just left to go toilet and grab some food...what happened in that time?”

“Yibo...it felt like you were gone for ages. Don’t ask me why, please! There are things I need to solve myself. But I wish you were there with me...Yibo I’m sorry!.” More tears appeared and Zhan was sobbing.

"Hey, dont cry! Wang Yibo is here to make you smile!"

"I'm sorry..."

“Ge, you done nothing wrong! Let’s go to my room. It’s good if you take a bath. You can just borrow my clothes.”

“Mhm.” Zhan followed Yibo to his room. The room was extremely clean and organised, more than Xiao Zhan would have imagined. The bathroom was a good size, with a bathtub in the middle and a big window with a view to a river. “Very organised Bodi.”

“Haha...well, erm...I was planning to take you here anyway. So, I cleaned it. I would not have allowed you to drive for so long at night...especially with your bad sight!”

“Brat" Zhan said, smiling a bit.

“Your smile is cute...”

“Huh?”

“NOTHING! Gege, please be comfortable! I will wait for you outside. Erm, here is the towel!” Yibo pushed Zhan inside the bathroom and ran to his bed. For some reason, he felt hard to breath. A thought hit his head again...These months they have been talking more, Yibo felt more alive, happy and relaxed. But his mind was always extremely busy with one thing...Xiao Zhan. He could not stop thinking about that man for a minute, and that was driving Yibo crazy. If they were not together, something was just not right. It was the same feeling he had few years ago, but way more intense. It made him question many things, especially his own sexuality. ‘Nah, nah it’s impossible!’

“Yib...YIBO! Xiao Zhan shouted his name, bringing Yibo back to reality. His voice was full of uncertainty.” i- Can you please bring me some clothes?"

“Mhm...coming!” Yibo grabbed some clothes and opened the bathroom door. Xiao Zhan was standing in front of him with the towel around the waist and looking down. His body was much stronger than what Yibo remembered seeing last year, but it still looked so fragile. Yibo moved closer and gave Zhan the clothes.” Be quick please...I wanna sleep!”

.....

“Yibo...how is your health? Zhan asked. They were now lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

“It’s good ge...why are you asking?”

“Just making sure...you can tell me anything!”

“Hmm, I was feeling so ill before. I could not sleep, and in the middle of the night i would wake up feeling really empty. I also saw this beautiful smile in a dream...I think it was yours! I dont know why...but I’m fine now! I think you are my cure.

“I’m glad. I will always be here for you! I promise, and a promise cannot be broken.”

“Mhm. I promise I will always be here for you too! Thank you for coming today with me...but I’m sorry I left you and you ended up not enjoying the party. I know you prefer to stay at home, but I really wanted to see you.”

“It’s okay! I’m happy we are here now...are you drink enough water?"

"That is such a weird question Gege, but yes I am!"

"Good boy...now we need to sleep. Gosh it’s already 3AM and I need to go work tomorrow at like 10Am and probably finish at 1Am.”

“I will tell someone to drive you to the hotel early. Don’t even argue with me! Just accept it.”

“i will do anything for you Bodi, however I’m going to cook breakfast in the morning, okay? I mean, if you have any edible food here. I need to take care of a baby like you sometimes!”

“YA, let’s not start an argument!”

“I’m too tired to argue. Good night Wang Yibo!”

“Nigh Xiao Zhan.” Yibo replied. He stared at the older, who was so close to him. By instinct, he lifted his hand and gently touched Zhan’s delicate face. Xiao Zhan immediately opened his eyes and stared deeply into those dark eyes again. They could feel each other fast and warm breath. Yibo wanted those soft lips so much, that he felt he was going crazy. The temptation was almost taking control over his body and Xiao Zhan was not doing anything to stop it. ‘ **Sleep well...bunny.”** he simply said. He could not let those odd feelings ruin their friendship.


	14. Chapter 14

Xiao Zhan POV

Before falling asleep in the cozy bed next to Yibo, my regretful heart took my mind to the last days me and the puppy talked...

_Late December afternoon 2019_

Beijing could not be colder than today. The snow falling soundlessly outside the window, and hitting the ground elegantly gave the Saturday afternoon an interesting charm. People were walking around with a huge smile on their faces, just taking pictures of that beautiful occasion, forgetting to even protect themselves from the cold touch of the little flakes dropping down from the sky. Ah how beautiful the nature is...and how easy we are to please sometimes. It really makes me laugh, at how small events such as the first snow creates such a great happiness in us.

“Look Lao Wang! It’s snowing so much outside. Am I the only one that is so fascinated by it?!” I said while recording a video to send to Yibo. Even though, we are staying in the same hotel due to many interviews we have to go and awards night, Yibo is quite busy these days and we don’t see each other that much. When I’m free, he has work and when he’s free, I’m busy. Ah cruel life!

“Wow! It looks so cool Gege...I did not even realise it was snowing that much! Where are you now?”

“I’m in my studio. My manager called me for a meeting and I’m waiting for him. What about you?”

“Just recording some ads. Wanna grab coffee later? I will be back at the hotel by like 7PM maybe.”

“Yesss! I will be waiting for you Bodi! Now go do your job little kid."

“See yaa!”

‘Honestly, today is going too great. The snow gives Beijing an ethereal look, my schedules are so organised and I can finally meet with Yibo and have a nice time. My manager it’s just taking too long to get here.’ I thought. He sounded very serious at the phone...his voice was almost frightening. Few more minutes passed and the door was opened, revealing an angry man.

“Erm...is everything okay Mr Li?” I asked.

“Xiao Zhan...I hope you are having an excellent day, but we need to talk about something serious. You might not like it, but it’s for your own good. Please listen first.”

“Okay.”

“After ‘The Untamed’ you gained a lot of success...it was something just unbelievable! You are loved by many people from all over the world and they are willing to do, buy and fight for everything you say and sell. This is something just incredible.” “Where are you trying to get to?” I asked. Too much compliments are never a good sign coming from someone from the acting industry.

“With all the success you need to be careful with things you do and say. Especially with other celebrities...Xiao Zhan you need to let go of Yibo! You are are so successful...you dont need him near you. Being near that spoiled kid will just bring you bad lu-"

“Please do not call Yibo like that. You have no right to call him that...you don’t know him at all! How can you even say that? You saw him with me for so long...how can you be so cold? You need to respect other celebrities."

“XIAO ZHAN! Wake up! We are in China...the very second you decided to take the role of Wei Wuxian, a gay man, your career was in risk! But cool, you succeed with that...everyone loved you even more with that character. But your interactions with Wang Yibo needs to stop. Fans are shipping you two like crazy. Do you even know how many messages we receive from them wishing you two happy future together? This is gonna be horrible for you. Why stay with him anyway? Do you wanna lose everything just because of a little dumb kid like him?"

“I swear...if you keep talking about Yibo like that I will get you fired...The fans are just giving love.”

“Wow. Look at you protecting him...what? Did you get so much into the character that now you gonna be offering him your filthy ass to be fucked later? I’m telling you Xiao Zhan, this is for your own benefit, if you dont ignore that kid from now own, you will get in a big of trouble. He will too...do you want that? Do you want your amazing friend to be literally kid by the chinese society?”

“Why? Why are you acting like this? I thought you were my friend? And...and Yibo’s friend...” I can’t. I just can’t...how did Mr Li go from the friendliest man in the world to this?

“Look...I’m sorry Xiao Zhan for my words. But in this industry, it’s like that. I don’t want the same thing that happened few years with two brilliant actors that got their careers ruined because of a simple drama, happening to you. You will ignore Wang Yibo and that’s it! Dont fight with me...there’s people with a higher status than me that think the same. Interactions need to stop! No one will know about this conversation."

“Okay...I will ignore Yibo, because I dont care...I don’t care if I will get hurt. He needs to be protected from all of you. Yibo he is strong, he will understand it one day. I know...I know he will. Leave now please!” I said. My heart is in so much pain...we were going to drink coffee together and look at the beautiful snow outside the hotel window. Now...When? When will we be able to do this? Some things in the world we cannot decide...it all depends on fate. But how will I be able to live with no regrets knowing I could be the one changing our unfair destiny? I’m sorry Yibo.

I grabbed my umbrella and headed to the hotel. The room felt even more empty and cold...but that doesn’t matter. I opened the mini fridge and took a beer that was there for a quite a while...the last time me and Yibo drank together. ‘You are so fucking lucky Xiao Zhan! You have no one to complain about this...you are fucking alone' I said, drinking the bitter beer a moment later. Then, another beer I found and when I realised it was already dark outside. The door opened; someone was inside the room.

“Heyy Zhange! Wow...I thought we were drinking coffee but you actually having fun without me. Yo, Ge you are so red! How much did you drink?”

“Yibo...I miss-“ i cant.” Leave.”

“Huh?”

“Wang Yibo leave my room now!”

“Zhan calm down. We talked earlier about meeting, why are you telling me to leave? You even gave me an extra room card so i can come here when i want.”

“Fuck Yibo! Cant you fucking leave me alone? I’m tired of this!” _I’m so sorry Bodi...I want you to stay, I’m so sorr_ y! “You are just a spoiled brat that needs to have everything done your way!”

“Hahaha you are just drunk right? Cmon Gege, lemme tuck you in bed-"

“FUCK OFF YIBO! Haven’t you realised how annoying you are? Thats why a lot of people dont like you! And you are so fucking rude...a little boy thinking that the title “cold prince” it’s such an amazing thing. Ha, it’s not! You are rude and spoiled!”

“Xiao Zhan...please stop. I never thought like that...”

“NOW YOU ACT INNOCENT! You just know how to break people heart and make them distant themselves from you...you are a selfish brat that cannot stand for himself...you are a terrible friend that does horrible things to others! I-I hate you so much...”

“Zhange...Talk to me!"

"GO!"

" I will leave you alone! You seem drunk and not in a good mood! Please Gege text me later, okay? So, I know you are fine. I will be waiting for your text! Please take care of yourself Xiao Zhan...I care about you so much.”

“Yibo...” I cannot control my tears anymore. How fucked up do I look right now? “Leave now...please!”

“Mhm.”

.....

That night I was not able to sleep. Yibo’s scared expressions were haunting me every second, and all the strength I had was gone. My body felt like it could explode any moment, as it was shaking abnormally. That day, I also saw Chen Xuan outside my studio’s private room. Now I know why she looked so angry and disappointed...it was never her fault for hating me. She just wanted to protect her best friend. Unfortunately, she did not hear the whole story...but Yibo still got hurt. After that day, everyone knows what happened...avoid, ignore and ignore. Funny how staying away from him did not help my reputation at all... but at least it saved his.

How interesting fate is...who would have thought me and Yibo would be sleeping in the same bed right now? Laughing and talking happily again? I hope this lasts forever...this beautiful, weird friendship I have with him!

Sadly, I will have to keep it a secret from Mr Li and the public...but that’s okay. This will be our little secret.

“Gege, are you still awake?” Yibo asked, rubbing his cute eyes.

“Go back to sleep Bodi...sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤


	15. Chapter 15

How might someone get up from bed, when laying so peacefully away from all the life issues?

Our bed, I would say, it’s sometimes our escape gate. When problems arrive at our door, we naturally want tranquillity. This desire for peace can come straight away, leading us to search for comfort immediately, or it can come after, when someone has dealt with their difficulties and need to rest. The bed is normally the best solution. We simply lay down, feeling the soft blankets embracing our skin, and the mattress supporting our physical and mental weight. It enables us to spend calm hours thinking about life or just closing our eyes to forget about everything. The best is when we lying next to someone dear to us...that’s the best comfort feeling.

...

Xiao Zhan awaked from his deep sleep when he heard Yibo’s sweet voice. The boy was standing close to a window, almost hiding between the curtains, probably trying his best not to disturb Zhan...which was a failed attempt. He was holding his phone tightly and smiling a lot.’ Yibo?’ Zhan called. Yibo jumped a little, and turned off his phone.

“Zhan I’m sorry. I did not want to wake you up!”

“Is everything okay? It’s only 5 and you are up.” Zhan asked. Yibo moved closer and sat next him in the bed.

“Basically, my manager called me and said that me and you are going to film a video for Roseonly and Ele.me .” Yibo confessed. “ Its going to happen today at 7PM and you probably received a message about it. So just check it...finally after so long!”

“Ah yeah.”

“What’s wrong? Are you not happy?”

“Just a bit worried how the public will see it. I dont want to cause you any problem...especially now that your career is so fucking good.” Xiao Zhan has so many haters, so what on earth are they capable of if they saw it?

“Dont worry. We are professionals just doing our job! Only one video and that’s it Gege.”

“I know. Also, are you sure you are okay? Your face does not really look good.” In most people’s eyes Wang Yibo right now would be the happiest person they have ever seen in their lives, but for Xiao Zhan. Ah, he knew that boy very well and there was definitely something bothering him.

“Chen Xuan called...5 times. Then I only sent her a message after. She asked if I was with you.”

“What did you say?” Zhan asked. His heart sank. The image of that little girl shouting at him appeared on his mind. If they fight, the best friends, Zhan would feel horrible. It was not her fault for misunderstanding the situation, but she was also not dealing with it that well. Honestly, for Zhan, she said a bit of the truth...he was horrible. He was a coward for not solving the problem in a better way, but the pressure at that time was so much, for someone so fresh in the industry.

“I told her to stop being annoying! AGAIN! I told her its none of her business. She was not like that! She is so fucking controlling now...it’s getting out of hand! “

“Yibo, dont be mad at her. She is just worried about you, okay? Try to understand that.”

“It’s not like I’m with a serial killer! Tell me Xiao Zhan, are you a serial killer?"

“I might be...you never know.”

“Wow I’m so scared! You more of a CERIAL killer.” Yibo said with a mocking expression, which made Zhan hit his arm hard.” OUCH!”

“Ha ha you so funny Wang Yibo! ;-;

“I don’t know why she is so obsessed over you now, but doesn’t matter if something happened between you two...its past! Just remember I’m here if you wanna talk. “

“I know.” Why is he being so nice? When are you gonna tell him Xiao Zhan? “ Lemme get up and prepare our breakfast. Do you want me to make you rice in motorbike shape, Bo Di?”

“Fuck you...but if you can I won’t reject it.”

Xiao Zhan laughed and made his way to the bathroom to get ready. It was still very early and the sun was not even up yet, which gave him an idea.

“Yibo! I will cook something very delicious for us...but I just realised it’s super early. Can we watch the sunrise? I want to take some pictures too.”

“Sure, but Gege shines brighter than the sun! Too handsome.”

“Really Yibo? That was so random. Like so so random!”

“It’s true tho. I will be thinking I’m taking pictures of the sun, but when I look, I will see Zhange face there.”

“You really worry me sometimes Yibo...I’m very concerned. Let’s get going now.”

Yibo tried helping Zhan, but was unsuccessful. Everytime he picked up a knife, Zhan hurried to take it off his hand and send him back to his seat. One minute later, Yibo was there again trying to do something, but Zhan would once again send him back to his seat. Therefore, Wang Yibo just gave up and waited for the food ‘Patiently'. When it arrived, they both ate in silent. They food was too delicious to waste a second talking. When finished, Yibo washed the dishes, after having a 5 minutes argument with Zhan over it.

“Yibo you take so long! That’s why I wanted to wash them. How are you so fast with everything else, but not this? “

“Aish Zhange! I am done, okay? Also, I’m not used to washing dishes...I mostly get take away. “

“I will have to cook for you all the time then.”

“I will be very pleased if Zhange did this for his Didi. But you need to eat well too or I will send you loads of food!”

“Idiot... where can we go to watch the sunrise? “

“Let’s go to the rooftop.”

The view was totally stunning. As there were not many houses or cars around that area, the air was so pure and every little detail of the sky could be seen, which was weird for a place in Shanghai. When the sun started to rise, it was as if things were happening in slow motion. The brightness from it illuminated from the littlest things such as the flowers and grass, to the biggest things such as the cars and houses. Xiao Zhan smiled so widely at the sight of something so beautiful from nature, that he did not even realized how a certain person was staring at him. Yibo paid attention to the expressions and little excitement noises that came from Xiao Zhan. When he said Zhan was brighter than the sun, he was not lying. For him, Zhan was the most beautiful scenery that someone could find. He stood out between everyone and even the sun.

“Yibo look at this pict-...why are you staring at me like that?”

“I...a... Zhan is soo handsome indeed! I couldn’t help but stare. “Yibo said. He could feel that his ears were probably getting red.

“Wang Yibo it’s so much more good looking. So good and talented, totally flawless. ”

“Zhange, no...Zhan much more I... Let’s take a picture, Zhan". He stuttered.

Smile!!

“You know Yibo...it is so nice to be able to breath. I-"

“You always breathing Zhange.”

“;-;”

“ I’m joking!! Keep going!”

“Like I was SAYING...it’s so satisfying to be able to breath freely. I’m here with you, looking at the sunrise and I know what is happening now it’s rare, so I want to enjoy it the best as I can.I the last time we had this was at my house, but you had to leave so fast.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I want to be a friend you can rely on, and I don’t want to commit mistakes anymore. Jesus, I’m almost 30, I don’t want to live doing things I’m gonna regret later. Some days were really hard for me...and probably for you too. It was killing me inside seeing you going through so many things, happy and sad, and I wasn’t brave enough to come to you. Once again, I’m so sorry!”

“So wise our ZhanZhan...Look you don’t have to say sorry. You apologise too much Gege. I’m here to listen to you and help you! One day if you want to talk about why all this stuff happened, and why you were crying yesterday then we can. If you don’t then just forget it. Everything it’s in the past now. Let’s make a promise?”

“What is it?”

“We will call it the ‘Endless Summer Promise'. I promise you; I will always trust you and support you. No matter what happens or what people say, we going to be here for each other. We started with an amazing friendship and we going to be like that always. What do you think?” Yibo said, showing his little finger to Zhan. “This promise really counts!”

“It’s perfect. I promise you Yibo! Like this always.” Zhan lifted his little finger too and intertwined with Yibo's one. Their friendship was sealed there. Their red string of faith finally connected closely again.

“Xiao Zhan.”

“Wang Yibo?”

“Can you please close your eyes?” Yibo asked. He could not contain the desire that was consuming him for so long. He did not understand those strange feelings towards his friend, but he needed to taste those sweet lips again. “Please!” He begged, making the man in front of him do what he was told to.

Yibo slowly moved closer to Zhan, taking a deep breath. Even though they were safe in that roof, Yibo was afraid Zhan would show a negative reaction and move aggressively, therefore, he restrained Zhan’s right arm and gently placed a kiss on those lips he was craving so much. At first, Zhan tried to separate them but Yibo placed his big hands around that thin waist, pulling his Zhange closer.

Their lips moved slowly and wet, savouring the so awaited moment. Xiao Zhan hands were now wrapped around Yibo’s neck, pushing him deeper into the kiss. Their minds were completely blank, and their bodies were moving by instinct. ‘Ah...’ both men moaned quietly into each other mouths when the older bit Yibo’s lower lip.

‘Fuck.’

Yibo whispered, letting go of Xiao Zhan. When he looked up, he saw the man. Zhan was so fucking sexy. His cheeks were flushing bright red, his hair was messy and his lips were so swollen. Like the last time they kissed, but sexier.

“Me thinking I would be the responsible one and stopping the kiss...but you did it twice now.’ Zhan said trying to catch his breath.” I’m impressed.”

“I dont know what’s going on. Xiao Zhan, did I offend you?”

“Why did you stop?”

“I... don’t know. I just hope I won’t ruin our friendship with my weird impulses! I have never kissed a man before. You are the first...” Oh damn, Yibo did know very well why he stopped. With the quiet moans and that bite, his body started reacting on its own. After so long, his friend decided to show up again, and if he did not stop, Yibo felt he was going to do something that they would regret later.

“Its fine. Just...don’t do it again. We shouldn’t be kissing like this! Its inappropriate.”

“Mhm, we should start preparing for work. I will call my driver to take you back to the hotel."

“Yibo...”

“yeah?” As soon Yibo looked at the person in front of him, Zhan rapidly stole a peck from him. Got up, and then entered the house.

“One last time! See you later.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna thanks my bestie for helping me with this.😭 she's not even a turtle but was amazing at supporting me with the story.

When Xiao Zhan got to the hotel, his mind was still fixed on the situation that had just happened a while ago. Yibo, their moments, the kiss... they were all fighting inside his head, trying to come up with a reason, rather than being madly in love with his friend, to justify his behaviour. Since he met Wang Yibo, the cool guy, Zhan changed completely. Every time he was with the younger, his serious-self disappeared, leaving the childish and needy for attention, Xiao Zhan. Three. Damn. Years passed and he just could not stop thinking about that boy. Totally torture. 

  
Xiao Zhan have always believed he was straight, but how the events lately explain that? He felt desire, pleasure and the need for Yibo’s touch. The problem is that it was not something new...he felt like that three years ago too, when they shared little hugs, handshakes and even slaps...he needed that to feel alive. Three years later, the feeling still there but more urgent...more needy. Fuck, what would he give to live in a place that everything that is happening between them was accepted?

  
“Is it really inappropriate Xiao Zhan? You did not stop the kiss and you still so damn hard. Why him?! Why can’t it be a girl who I can marry and finally settle down? He talked to himself, while walking back and forth inside the hotel room. “What the hell am I even saying...if we were free to make our own choices, what would happen? Love like this is basically forbidden here.

WHY CAN’T WE ALL LIVE PEACEFULLY!? Zhan shouted like a maniac.

  
Knock knock. 

  
Yes? 

  
It was Mr Li, his manager. 

  
“Is everything okay? I heard you shouting from outside but couldn’t really understand anything. Do you need something?”

  
“I-im fine" Zhan replied. Being next to Mr Li now, after all that happened, scared him a little. But what could he do? Changing managers would be a nightmare.“I was just practicing some lines.” 

“Ah okay. Also, Zhan today you are going to film with Wang Yibo. I really did not want this to happen but Mei Xiu said it was going to be great and shes really important in the business industry. Please be careful and remember what we talked about last year.”

  
“It’s been almost one year already. With no interactions between me and Yibo. Please do not worry! It’s going to be good for me and the company.” Xiao Zhan said trying not to get mad at how possessive Mr Li was still acting after so long. ‘Can’t he just leave me alone?’ he thought.

  
When Mr Li left the room, Zhan decided to stop focusing so much on the problems he was going to face, but focus now on the drama that he needed to film. This was something new for him. Something hard to do that requires all his mental and physical strength, therefore he could not let external factors affect his performance. Dressed and ready for one more day of hard work, he left the room and headed towards the set. This time Xiao Zhan had loads of fighting scenes, making his body sore and mind tired, but he still enjoyed the adrenaline. For his surprise, while in break, Zhoucheng appeared on the set with a bag full of crisps and flowers.

  
“Wow! You are bringing me flowers now?” Zhan asked, walking towards his friend with a huge smile.

  
“I bought you the crisps. Lulu that got the flowers...honestly, she wanted to buy a giant red plum blossom tree and bring it herself but it didn’t really work out. We miss you loads Zhan.”

  
“I miss you too guys. We need to meet again when everyone’s free! Man, tell LuLu to relax...one day she will tell me that she got me a house and a wife.”

  
“Definitely, I dont know about the wife tho...Oh Yubin also said he misses you loads. I met him few days ago in an event.”

  
“ Gosh I haven’t talked to him in ages! I will send him a message later. Yubin always makes me laugh so much. I hope he’s doing great.” 

  
“I know right?! You are working so much Zhan... I’m so proud of you. Ah and message Lulu before she goes crazy, she’s being complaining you forgot about her!”

  
“Hehe I will! You guys are so needy.”

  
“Mhm we are! We need Zhan’s attention too, you know? Ah I should get going now...I saw your beautiful face and gave you the presents. I will talk to you later. Jiayou!”

  
The little gifts and reminders that his friends were always there for him, made Xiao Zhan mood get better, even if it was short for a short moment. He gave all of himself to the role and finished filming his part at 6PM. The timing was just perfect as it gave him the opportunity to take a shower and prepare his mind for what’s to come. Weirdly, Xiao Zhan had a strange feeling on his stomach.

  
The place for recording was just huge. Xiao Zhan and his crew followed the instructions and got to a fancy room, divided into two parts. One was full of red petals and a huge star of yellow roses hanging on the ceiling, with few glitter confetti falling from it. On the other side, there were some shades of dark blue lights and white petals. Simply magical!   
However, he could not see Yibo.

  
“Hi Xiao Zhan, how are you? Could you follow me? I’m going to take you to a room so you can write your answers for the video and we start filming. I expect Miss Mei to have explained that to you.” Said a tiny worker from there. He followed her and sat in a little room, nothing compared to the one he was before. In the middle of a table there was a paper with few questions on it. They were not that easy...at least not for him. It was questions that he had to take some time reading and thinking about. Xiao Zhan wondered how Yibo was doing. 

  
After fifteen minutes, Xiao Zhan had to give in the answers yet he was not confident enough. There was so much he wanted to write but just did not know how to put into words. Unfortunately , they could not give him more time. In his way back to the set, he saw Yibo. They would be filming near each other, but in the different sides. Xiao Zhan looked at him and whispered a ‘good luck’, which stole a smile from the younger man. 

  
‘Are you ready guys?’

  
‘ **Where do you find love**?’  
This was the tricky questions for Xiao Zhan. Where would you find love? It was an empty sentence, that for him, felt like there was no love involve to it. Personally, he believed love find people, not the opposite. However, as he had to answer it, he wrote down the first thing that came into his mind. Eyes. Yibo's eyes.

**Xiao Zhan** : In your eyes.  
 **Wang Yibo** : In your eyes.

**What places can you find love**?

  
**Wang Yibo** : Wherever you are, I know I will find love.

  
Yibo felt alone multiple times, but when he met his Zhan, that feeling vanished. He knew anywhere his friend was, he would never be alone. Yibo looked at the side for a brief moment, and smiled at the sight of Xiao Zhan sweet expressions.

‘ **How does love make you feel**?’  
 **Xiao Zhan** : With you, I’m able to confront everything.   
_Together we are stronger_  
**Wang Yibo** : _Together we are stronger_.  
  
CUT!

When both men turned their attention to the staff, they found the crew staring at them with the mouth opened and wide eyes. ‘What’s wrong with these people?’ Zhan and Yibo thought. As soon, ‘these people’ realised they were observing the two men for too long and that they had notice it, the little woman who led the event clapped her hands, while shouting ‘We are done!’

  
“You guys did absolutely great. Honestly, it was better than I thought. Did you guys discuss about similar answers before this?” She asked.

  
“We had no idea of the question, but I’m glad we did great. Thank you!” Xiao Zhan replied.

  
“Love it! I’m going to send you guys the video with just the voice recordings. When we done with the editing, I will send it to your managers. Thank you so much! Love the chemistry between you two.”

  
The behaviour of that lady was a question mark. Chemistry? They knew that had a great chemistry when filming, but even when they were not together? How was that even possible? Xiao Zhan had many questions in his head, too much if you ask. While Yibo...well, he was just being Yibo. The most chill guy ever. Both of them left the building and took their own paths to different hotels. This time they were not that far away from each other, but a meeting was not the best option. Mr Li and many fans were around that place. The information of the collaboration between them could not be leaked and Mr Li did not need to know about their little encounters.

  
In the hotel room, Xiao Zhan played on his phone. It was an online game Yibo had showed him and both got a bit addicted, meaning they were playing it every time they got the chance. Zhan was in second place, but just one more point and he was going to beat Yibo for the first time...almost there...there...and...the phone bleeped with a message from that lady. ‘Damn it!’ he complained.   
Opening the video, the only thing he could hear was their voices, perfectly on sync. His heart started accelerating when he noticed how similar their answers were, practically forming a story. 

  
‘ _In your eyes, wherever you are, I know I will find love._

  
_With you I am able to confront everything._

  
_Together we are stronger.’_

  
Zhan replayed and replayed the audio as if he was trying to understand how they came up with an amazing story without even planning it. Without realizing, twenty minutes had already passed and he was stuck with that in head. His thought were interrupted by a gentle knock in the door.

  
“Hey...”

  
“Hi.”

  
Yibo was in front of him. The person he was thinking about the whole time. He looked breathless and agitated as if he had been chased by something. Their eyes were locked on each other’s, starting to build anxiety on Zhan’s body. 

  
“What are you doing here?” 

  
“Zhange...”


	17. Chapter 17

“Yibo?”

Xiao Zhan said. Memories slowly fading away as the gaze of the man in front of him pierced his eyes with such intensity that it was getting harder to breath. Was he there because of the video too? Zhan thought. At noticing how they were staring at one another for quite a while, he decided to let the boy in, so they could talk about the subject Yibo had stuck in his head.

“I, Zhange, I... well. have you watched the video?” He asked. Yibo did not look the same brave man as always. His small face was reddish and his hands were trembling.

“Mhm. It is really nice and I think our answers were very compatible! I’m sure everyone will like it.”

“Xiao Zhan, when you were writing them...did you thought of something or someone? Did you,maybe, thought o-"

“Yibo I think we should not talk about this here. The walls have ears" Xiao Zhan was aware that Mr Li could appear out of nowhere and they both would be in trouble. Therefore, being away in the streets, was safer now than staying in the hotel talking about a matter like that.” Let’s go for a walk okay? I know a place.” For their luck, the place was only five minutes away from the hotel.

They carefully got out with their faces covered with a mask and a big hood hiding their heads. Xiao Zhan walked fast and Yibo just followed without interrogating.

The so place was quite familiar to Yibo. The entrance was plain with a pinch of spooky vibes as the tree branches had grew loads since Yibo last saw it. Xiao Zhan seemed very used to that and just pushed them out of their way. Just as he remembered, the garden was beautiful. More flowers were growing and the smell was oddly comforting.

“How?” Yibo asked after taking a deep breath, allowing the amazing smell enter his lungs.

“What?”

“ How do you know the place? I mean, I have been here before. So, so many times and I never saw you here. I kinda thought this place was only for me as I never saw people entering it...so how?”

“For real? I have been visiting this place for a long time, it just makes me calm. I also planted some flowers and watched them grow. I discovered this garden by accident...it just happened that I was walking one day, kinda stressed and wanting to be alone, and I was reckless enough to just break through the tree branches to relief my pain and then I just found it.”

“You’re horrible! Poor tree...you should respect more the nature Zhange!”

“Shut up Wang Yibo! How do you even know of this place?”

“Pretty much the same as you. But I just stayed because of the flowers, they are really nice and the smell comforts me.”

“I took care of most of them, you know? They were not here before...well at least not as many as now. I thought I could make such a small place more beautiful...hahahaha it’s funny how we both came to here so many times but never met each other.” Zhan laughed. His remarkable smile showed up after so long, making Yibo blush. Xiao Zhan really belonged to that place. He was looking ethereal, while the rose petals flee graciously around him because of the wind. Breathtaking.

“It’s weird. Too much of a coincidence.”

“More like fate. Come, let’s sit down! There’s two little chairs right there.” Xiao Zhan said calmly. He was in fact, screaming and crying inside, but he could not show it. They both constructed a beautiful story together and now the information of them visiting the same place without knowing, was just too much to handle. He looked at Yibo with the corner of his eyes and noticed how the younger moved so freely there. He did not even care about how dark that garden was, as he was skipping and sniffing every little flower he could find. It was interesting how they felt more at liberty out of the hotel, where many people could find them, than inside of the hotel with only their managers and stylists. Yibo sat first in the wooden chair and Xiao Zhan stood up, finally realising that they would need to talk about the video. “Yibo...” Zhan said.

“Ah, yes. So, did you think of anyone Ge?”

“So...” well. Damn it. How was he going to tell his friend, best friend, that he thought of him throughout the whole process of answering those questions. The sentence in Xiao Zhan’s mind was now stuck in his throat...he wanted to tell him...’yes Yibo, I thought of you.’ But how would the younger react? It was as if he wanted to scream those words out, but it only came out silence from his mouth. A silent scream.

“The way we answered them was really nice, but I don’t think it’s rare for it to happen. The questions are quite misleading...we don’t have much options.”

“Hmm...I know. But you are not answering my question Xiao Zhan! Did you think of someone?

Please just answer that."

“I like your hat”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not wearing a hat Zhange...Are you okay?”

Shit.

Xiao Zhan was already nervous; now he could swear his heart was about to explode. How could something so random slip from his mouth? To make it worse, Yibo had a very worried face and approached him slowly. The scene was now two confused man in the middle of an isolated area, silent and awkward.

“Yibo...Bodi. I’m fine. I was actually, I actually thought of you. I dont know why...your face just came into my mind every time I read those questions. Maybe I’m spending too much time with you and that happened. What about you?”

“I thought of you. Straight away. “Yibo replied. Fast. Very fast.

“Wh-"

“You are the one I always think about. I don’t really have anyone that understands me as good as you do...not anymore. So, when they asked where I could find love...I knew it was with you...wherever you are, I know I will find love.” What kind of love though?

“I’m, I’m happy. With you Yibo, I’m able to confront everything... I realised that a long time ago, I’m just so hopeless without you. Shit...I can’t even stop myself from missing you all the time.”

“Xiao Zhan!!” Yibo laughed. His laugh was so contagious and honest. It was the best melody in Zhan’s ears.” This is so cheesy now! Everything between us only intensifies. ”

“I know. I know it very well...” Xiao Zhan said. He wanted to tell Yibo everything, how he felt, why he ignored him, why that cute face always appeared on Zhan’s mind, but it was easier to deny everything at the moment. Deny to Yibo his true feelings, and deny to himself a bit longer, even though the answer was so clear now. He was only able to bring back one recent topic. “Yibo, should we talk about the kiss? “

“The kiss? I already said sorry. I don’t want to annoy you with that.” “I kissed you back...”

“You did. What were you thinking, Xiao Zhan? You make me confused.”

“I don’t even know myself...but it tasted so good! Your lips...they just taste really good. If I could go back, I would do it again...if I just had the chance to. I really need to stop spending time with you haha.” Each word Xiao Zhan was saying felt like he was letting out something stuck inside him for years. Even if he could not express his feelings towards Yibo directly, as his mind was so muddled with doubts, he knew he needed Yibo’s touch. The moment their lips touched for the first time, he knew there was something between them, but when the second kiss happened, he was sure he had feelings for his friend. But what about Yibo? Did he have feelings for Xiao Zhan too?

“Xiao Zhan, I think I should go. I’m sorry for bothering you! “Yibo said. He seemed anxious and the tension in the room got heavier. Yibo kissed Zhan first. He felt butterflies and happiness when their lips connected, but it was too hard to hear it from Xiao Zhan. It was too hard to understand that in a country full of discrimination, they were starting to feel and go against all the norms from there.

“I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable!

“Damn Zhange...you never make me feel uncomfortable! It’s just too many things to think about! Friends don’t do shit like this; you know that right?”

“Yes.” Of course, Xiao Zhan knows, but were they even just friends? The older took a deep breath and touched Yibo’s shoulder, probably to comfort him, to let him know it’s okay or maybe it was only to comfort Xiao Zhan himself. “It’s fine Yibo. Just get back to work!”

“I’m free now. I just go to take a flight at 6AM to film DDU.”

“Ah ok. Then go back and rest well, and eat something too...you look like you really need food.”

“Should I stay then? I’m not gonna eat if I go back...you know that.”

“But...you just wanted to go? Am, am I not making you annoyed?”

“ Let’s just be like always, okay? Today so much is happening.”

“We are spending so much time together...it’s unbelievable! Our schedules before would never allow it, but now it its strangely easy to see you.”

“Maybe its fate. Fate telling me I need ZhanZhan feeding me with his amazing food.”

“You are so bipolar Yibo. You can stay, but I will have to order food. There’s literally nothing.” He spoke. Xiao Zhan was not having any free time to cook or go buy ingredients. He was tired and busy to do anything, even eat. So tonight, was going to be the first time, in ages, that he ordered it. Simple noodles, but from a trustworthy place.

It was quite late so there was no crowd in the streets and their way to the hotel was more peaceful.

When the noodles arrived, Zhan placed them in the plates because he just liked everything tidy. The food was just delicious, as always, keeping them silent until there was nothing left in front of the two. This time, Zhan washed the dishes while Yibo laid in his bed, just watching.

“You will be a great husband!” Yibo said unexpectedly.

“Erm...thanks, I guess. I don’t even think I’m going to get a wife with the life I carry.” Zhan replied, drying the dishes and walking towards his bed.

“You will! You are too perfect Zhange. Knows how to do everything and more! You just need to wait for the right time and the person will appear.”

“Yeah, I hope so...” he watched Yibo. The way the younger talked about that topic as if he was completely clueless about the feelings Xiao Zhan had for him. Maybe he really was. “It’s time for you to get a girlfriend...at your age I had a few girls going after me.”

“I know Zhan was a very popular kid. But I’m okay, I don’t really want to date any girl, it’s just too much to worry about and I’m not prepared for that. Plus, life is busy.”

“Very...Yibo I’m going to change my clothes; do you want to do it too? I can give you some. I dont think it’s comfortable to sleep with jeans on.”

“I did not say i was going to stay for a sleepover Gege.” Yibo said with a devilish smirk.

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

“But as my dear Gege wants, then I will. It’s also closer to the airport and I can take a shower here too! “

“Gremlim...so annoying! So annoying you are Wang Yibo.”

Xiao Zhan started undressing. He felt so tired after a long day of work that he just needed to change his clothes and get into bed. When his shirt was off, he felt a burning gaze coming from behind him. Turning around, he came across a very curious and tempting Wang Yibo. Those eyes were shamelessly travelling through each big of Zhan’s skin.

“W-what are you looking at?!”

“Your skin is so nice...and your waist still truly amazing! It always annoyed me how everyone paid so much attention to it, but how could they not?”

“Fuck off Yibo. Don’t play around like that. Lemme change in peace!” Xiao Zhan responded trying to sound tough, but failing abruptly.

“I will help!” Yibo mindset of 30 minutes ago went down the hill when he saw how beautiful Xiao Zhan was. That man, with a simple action of taking off his shirt, awakened the ID instinct in Yibo. He quickly got up from bed and pushed Zhan’s down into the mattress, leaving the man with no reaction. Wang Yibo firmly placed his friends hand above the head and started taking off his trousers.

“W-Wang Yi-bo let go...of me!” Zhan tried saying. Breathless.

“ I’m just helping Zhange, Xiao Zhan. “ Yibo murmured into Xiao Zhan’s ear. He was just simply following his instincts, without thinking about the future consequences.

“L-let go. Now! I can do it myself...WANG YIBO!” Xiao Zhan was PANICKING. He could feel his blood rushing to his face and the weight of Yibo's body pressing down on him. Everything was happening awfully slowly, yet he was not able to find a good excuse to make his puppy get off. The feeling of being practically naked in front of Yibo drove Xiao Zhan insane. Not in a good way. He was concerned about how he looked and why his friend was still on top of him when the job of taking the clothes off was clearly done. With all of his strength, Xiao Zhan spoke again. “P-please just let me get dressed. I’m co-cold.” He wasn’t really. His skin was burning, as if he entered an inferno. No way out.

“Weird. When I touch your skin, it’s quite hot... Xiao Zhan, should we sleep now?” Yibo said. Yes, he was disoriented about what to do. One minute his brain told him to behave adequately and don’t let temporary urges destroy them, but seconds later his body forces him to feel Xiao Zhan. A slap, a hug, an accidental touch was not enough anymore. His body was controlling all those actions, without the owner permission.

“I need...Yibo, shower.”

“Mhm.” Yibo fell to the side, freeing Xiao Zhan again. Both stared at the ceiling.

“Co-come take a shower too...” Zhan broke the silent. “We wasted too much time already, and I’m tired. So, let’s take...a shower together.” Xiao Zhan knew this was a bad idea, but he was truly tried to waste any more seconds of his busy life arguing with Yibo. He was happy the younger was with him, but Yibo could genuinely get irritating sometimes.

“I dont thin-"

“For fuck sake Wang Yibo! You were literally pining me down to bed few seconds ago. Could you just be quiet and follow me?” Zhan collected all his powers, trying not to stutter.

“Mhm.” Yibo appeared sad, but there was something in his expression that Xiao Zhan could not really interpret. He was sad, but excited? In reality, Xiao Zhan never really raised his voice to Yibo, in a serious way, but his patience was running out.

In the bathroom, they shyly undressed themselves, with their back facing each other. Xiao Zhan did not need to do much, apart from getting rid of his boxers, but Yibo took longer. The sound of their heavy breathing filled the silent room, making Zhan rethinking his life decisions. ‘Are you ok?’ he asked Yibo, who just responded with a cold ‘mhm’.

The atmosphere was heavy, and he hated it.

“Erm... Lao Wang I think it’s better if we take a bath instead. I took a shower earlier, so I’m not that dirty...also it would be faster as we don’t have to decide who would go under the water first.” He said, still not facing Yibo.

“You are not mad at me anymore?”

“Why you ask that?"

“You called me Lao Wang...so that’s why I’m asking.”

“Ah, yeah. I’m not mad at you! Dont worry.” Xiao was not able to be mad at Yibo. It was just not possible. His puppy face was just too cute.

After 5 minutes the tube was filled with warm water. Xiao Zhan made the first move to enter it, and Yibo followed. It was pretty comfortable for two men to sit, which made Xiao Zhan let out a breath of relief he did not even know he was holding.

Zhan tried his best to keep his eyes away from Yibo, especially from the dancer’s body. He had heard from rumours that Yibo was stunning- perfect abs, perfect tights, and perfect dick. Well, Xiao Zhan had seen Yibo abs before, during the filming times, but the rest was still to discover, and he did not really want to find out that now. It was inappropriate. Maybe.

“This is kinda of awkward.” Yibo admitted." You’re not even looking at me.”

“I am.”

“Are you shy?”

“Obviously not shy.” Yes.

“Why are you talking like that? I thought it was my job to give 3 word answers.”Yibo was laughing now. ‘ This boy definitely is bipolar ‘ Xiao Zhan thought.

“Just clean yourself puppy. This old man here is so tired!”

“Don’t call me a puppy!”

“You are clingy like one though. Even when we are taking a bath, you want attention. What am I gonna do with you?”

“Give me attention? Look at me? Talk to me? We are both men Xiao Zhan, what are you scared of?”

“I’m not scared! You are just weird Wang Yibo. “

“Look at me then...in my eyes.”

“Aish Yibo always treating me like this! You going to kill me one day, you know that? You have no respect for older people like me! Look!" He said, quickly looking at Yibo and turning away his face when their eyes locked. “ See! I looked at you.”

“ Correction, I have no respect towards you! Zhange, you did not even look at me for 2 seconds. Like this!” Yibo moved a bit, stretching his arms to grab Zhan’s shoulder and bring him closer. The older man was now sitting, uncomfortably, in the middle of Yibo’s legs.” I’m looking at you properly, your turn!”

“ You really like having me glued to you! Is that your kink, Yibo?”

“Maybe it is ZhanZhan! I know you have a restraining kink...your face cant deny it!”

“You grew up too much Yibo! You shouldn’t know things like that. For your information, I cant do much when you always grabbing my wrist or shoulder, or even neck! Just leave me alone.”

“ You never complained before...so why should I stop? “ Yibo was right. He never complained. It was something he just got so used with time, that it became an habit. It really did not go away, even after few years. “ Let me wash your hair Gege, try to turn around without splashing water everywhere please.”

“HA you talk as if we were in YOUR hotel room.”

“ I have manners Zhange, not like someone else.”

“Fuck you.” Zhan turned around easily. He was skinny and quite flexible for his ‘age'. However, he did not like that position. He was unable to see what Yibo was doing, and they were too close.

“ Your hair is so soft. “Yibo’s hands travelled slowly through Xiao Zhan’s hair. His long, slim fingers massaged the scalp gently, leading Zhan to tilt his head slightly backwards. “Are you enjoying it Zhange?”

“Yeah...so good.” That came out almost as a moan, but Zhan was too focused on feeling that pleasant touch to even notice the change of behaviour in Yibo. Again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite long chapter ig❤ I have been quite unmotivated, so sorry if it's not good.


	18. Chapter 18

When you realise its love, you are in love with someone, you naturally change the way you act towards them. The confident and determined actions, turn into awkward and self-conscious talks. You become shy, or too talkative, you overthink multiple scenarios in your head about a certain situation or just simply try to avoid them...too scared to admit your own feelings. In Xiao Zhan’s case, he tried ignoring the way he felt towards his friend, the best he could. He kept telling himself it was only friendship, but as they both knew, everything just intensified between them. When he realised, he was in love, it was too late. He simply cannot get out. He’s been in love with Yibo for years, but the reality just hit him properly when they shared the intimate touches and looks. In Yibo’s situation, he fell for Xiao Zhan many years ago, thought of him every day, touched himself, acted impulsively but still could not admit that he was definitely in love with Xiao Zhan. Those thoughts repeated on his mind, but he decided that whatever emotions he was having, it was better to ignore. They could have fun, spend time together, more kisses and hugs, but the idea of confessing to a man, was too much for Yibo. At least for now.

They both knew that loving each other was a losing game. 

....

Xiao Zhan’s hair was now washed, perfectly clean, but Yibo's hands were still there. After hearing him talk in such an erotic way, Yibo just froze. Maybe, it was just in his mind, maybe Zhan did not really sound so sensual like he assumed. The way he stopped so suddenly, made Xiao Zhan react and turn his head a bit to the side to face his friend. “You good?” He asked. Yibo nodded and moved his hands all the way to the so famous waist. He pressed tightly, so tight that his hand print was probably going to show off the next day. However, it did not seem to cause any effect on Xiao Zhan, or that’s what he thought.

The man in front of him bit his lower lip, so hard, to not make any sound he would regret later. Yibo’s touch was like a little spark that ended up bursting into a flame, so innocent at the beginning but so dangerous later. Zhan felt Yibo’s hand pull him closer, making their most private parts in the body touch. The impact was delicate, but sent goosebumps all over Zhans body. This was a totally new feeling, he never experienced with no one, and it was driving the man insane. “Yibo, what...are you? Are you doing?”

“Zhange.” Yibo said with a childish voice.” Why are you so handsome?”

“Stop saying things like that, Wang Yibo!” Xiao Zhan tried to get up, but was stopped by the firm grip. “Yiboo!” Nothing he said was able to convince Yibo to let go, it had always been like this. The younger never listened to him when it came to things Yibo wanted to do. If Yibo wants, he gets. With that in mind, Xiao Zhan gave in and laid back, placing his head on Yibo’s shoulder. “Better?”

“Yes.” Yibo wrapped his arms around Zhan’s waist and kissed his temple. It was a very nice position for the two, who closed their eyes and enjoyed the silence for a bit. It was overwhelming to think how fast they went from being friends to something they could not even explain.

“You know I will probably have a bruise, tomorrow right?” Zhan asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry but I could not help myself! My hands literally can close around it...what do you even do?”

"Yibo, you have a thin waist too...maybe more than me! Stop exaggerating.”

“But yours it’s just different, the shape, the curve...it’s really nice. Your skin is so soft and clean! Everything perfect as always.” Yibo said, analysing the naked body between him. He moved his hand and circulated Zhan’s stomach with his thumb. Slowly, just to watch the older man blush. It was a big satisfaction to make Xiao Zhan blush.

Shit. Zhan whispered to himself. It was, in his head, impossible to have a reaction to another’s man touch, but Yibo came and destroyed everything. “You are very audacious Yibo...you should not play with fire. I’m afraid you will get burned, puppy.”

“Really? But I’m not doing anything Gege. I’m just giving you love and affection, like a good Didi I am. I have no idea why you are blushing so hard...Do you have fever?”

‘So, you wanna play like that.’ Xiao Zhan thought. “Maybe I do have a fever Yibo. But I think is better if you actually check it for me. What do you think huh? Maybe you can measure it with a kiss?” Zhan breathed in deeply, before turning his waist to face Wang Yibo. He looked surprised with such an action coming from Xiao Zhan. Yibo liked to tease, but did not know how to react when was teased back. A weakness Xiao Zhan loved.

“Gege, I... well I thought you said kissing me was gross ge.”

“When did I say that?”

“Last year! You said you would not kiss me even if I was the last person on earth. I thought you were going to be more open minded as you were drunk but I wasn’t right.”

“Damn Yibo, I was probably teasing your handsome face. Who wouldn’t want to kiss you?” Zhan placed his small hand on Yibo’s cheek. So gently as if he was touching a porcelain doll.

“Xiao Zhan, you are making it impossible for me to resist. You were so naughty before, now you are even more. Do you want my kiss?”

“ I want it.”

“Really?”

“I really want it Yibo, please.” He begged. It was as if his mind went totally blank when Yibo touched him or teased him. He had to give all of himself and become a new Xiao Zhan. Naughty and needy.

Yibo smirked. He moved closer and took a deep breath of the delicious scent of the elegant body, inhaling the strong smell of roses. ‘So good.’ He whispered. His lips touching the soft skin of Xiao Zhan’s neck, made his own body react. The simple peck, sent all the blood rushing to one place in Yibo’s body, making him wonder if Xiao Zhan would leave.

Yibo ignored his thoughts, and continued tracing kisses from Zhan’s neck to his ear and back to his shoulders. He could hear the heavy breathing that belonged to the older man in front of him, and how he was trying so hard to keep the noises for himself. ‘ I want to hear you Gege.’

“Y-yibo, please.” Zhan begged again. He needed the kiss so much, as if he depended of it to live.

The younger stared intensively at how sexy Xiao Zhan was acting, and finally closed the gap between them. He was hungry for that kiss, and sucked those soft lips so hard that he could feel the faint taste of blood in his mouth. Their tongues explored each others, making both of them moan quietly. Yibo was sure he was going crazier with every touch. 

"Let’s...get..ahh...out of here.” Xiao Zhan said between the kisses. Yibo stopped and helped Xiao Zhan get up. The water was quite cold, but they did not care. Zhan left the bathroom first, and Yibo followed him. Well, after he wrapped a towel around his waist to hide the huge erection between his legs. When he got out, Zhan was laying on bed under the blankets and hugging a pillow.

“ You look so cute, but are you ok?”

“Mhm...I’m, I’m just cold" Zhan said with hesitation. He wasn’t cold, but shy of how hard he was.

“ I dont believe you Zhan-ge! Do you want to keep going?”

“ I-"

Before Zhan could respond, Yibo was already on top of him, kissing him desperately. He threw the blanket to the floor, to feel the heat of Xiao Zhan body. His fingers travelled around each part of that tanned skin, and reached the sensitive part. Accidentally. Xiao Zhan let out a whiny moan, and Yibo lost it. He held the hard member and stroked it slowly. Yibo’s eyes were glued to Xiao Zhan’s face, analysing every expression attentively. It was the first time he did that to someone, other than himself, and he was glad it was his dear Zhange. Yibo hand moved faster at each moan that echoed in that hotel room, and his cock was so hard and swollen that he could swear he was going to cum if Xiao Zhan just kissed him. With a few more steady strokes, Zhan came all over Yibo’s hand.

“Ah...fuck..Y-Yibo I’m sorry!” He said, trying to catch his breath.

“That was so fucking hot. Shit, never felt so aroused before! Was it good, Zhange?”

“V-very...what, what about you?” Zhan asked. His eyes went directly to Yibo’s dick, which made him jump a little. ‘So big...” he thought.

“What about me?”

“You are still, erm, very hard. You should feel good too? I could help you maybe...if you want.”

“Oh yeah? How would you help me ZhanZhan?”

“I could suck you...I want to make you cum too.” Xiao Zhan said. He did not have any idea from where that idea came from, but he wanted to try it.

“Yeah, suck me off Xiao Zhan.”


	19. Chapter 19

Zhan stood in front of an extremely hungry wolf, as he would consider Yibo at that exact moment, just building up the courage to fulfil the risqué suggestion from ten seconds ago. Yibo was hard and sweaty, nothing like the indecisive boy earlier, just waiting for Xiao Zhan to make his move, and he did. Those doll lips kissed the tip of Yibo’s dick so gently, but the reaction contradicted with the act. It twitched slightly, giving Zhan the confidence to continue. 

He shyly licked the length starting from the base and pleasingly going up back to the head where he sucked hard. Yibo groaned. It was mess of pre cum mixed with saliva, making it easier for Xiao Zhan to take that huge cock all in his mouth. He could feel Yibo'dick throbbing in his tongue.

“Ge...w-wait. I-m gonna cum...’ Yibo warned expecting Xiao Zhan to let go. But he didn’t.

  
Zhan kept sucking as if he was in trance. For him, Yibo just tasted so good, better than anything he has ever tried before and he wanted to make him feel amazing. With that in mind, he swallowed Yibo entire length in one quick motion, finally allowing the younger to release. A lot. ‘Fuck, Fuck, Ge...’ The strong and warm feeling of it hitting the back of Xiao Zhan’s throat made him choke a little, alarming Yibo.

  
“Zhange! Are you okay? It’s my fault...” Yibo said. 

  
“ I am fine...you taste amazing Bo Ge.” Xiao Zhan replied, still feeling overwhelmed with all that had just happened. His hair was messy and sweaty, lips were bright red and his small naked body burning from pleasure.

  
“Fuck. You look so good Xiao Zhan. This was the best orgasm I got in my life; this is your first time?”

  
“Yes.” Zhan responded. He was shy with such words coming from his close friend, Wang Yibo, also the guy known as the most wanted celebrity in China. “I’m sure you get that a lot...”

“Blowjobs?” Yibo asked, sounding irritated.

  
“Yes. I mean, every girl and even boys follow you and love you! You can get anyone you want.”

  
“Haha, Xiao Zhan. You are the first one that did that and made me cum so fucking much! I never allowed anyone, apart from you.” Yibo said, staring at the man in front of him. “Maybe you are thinking that I have done that with Chen Xuan before...I never permitted her to go down on me. Like I said, there’s never feelings involved.”

  
“So there are feelings involved between us?”

  
Yibo froze. The question he was trying to avoid the most this whole time was now being asked to his face. He loved and will always love Xiao Zhan, and that feeling became obvious for them and the public long time ago, but admitting it so soon just right after a storm was not easy. He got hurt and forgot, locked the memories inside for so long and suddenly they were back again. Not easy. It’s never easy for them...it might sound selfish, but he was not ready to share those emotions. Perhaps, soon he would be able.

  
“Ge I’m tired. Let’s sleep, oki? I have a flight to catch so sooon!” Yibo said, hugging Zhan. Yearning so much to say ‘I love you'.   
Xiao Zhan did not pressure him to give a response, he himself knew it was difficult to answer that question. However, he was sure something would change between them and possibly it would be good. He smiled, promising himself he would not fuck up their relationship again. ‘Let me get you some clothes.’

  
‘It’s fine! I want to sleep like this with you, feel your skin against mine.’ Yibo pulled Xiao Zhan into a hug. It was so comfortable, he felt at home everytime Zhan was with him, even though he did not know how home was in so many years. 

“Yibo, you are great. So great” 

  
“Zhan...holding you like this is making me hard again. Fuck.” He said. Yibo let go of the hug and attacked Zhan’s neck. He kissed, licked ad sucked every bit of the pale skin leaving red marks all over it. The tiny moans coming from Zhan sent him wild, pushing the older down to the mattress. His hard dick pressed against Zhan’s one, making both scream in pleasure. ‘Y-you have...ahh fuck...Yibo no shame' He heard Zhan saying. His speed increased, and their cocks rubbed against each other ferociously. Yibo had indeed no shame, as he stopped the movements, making Zhan frown. He had an idea. Yibo took his cock, giving it a few strokes. ‘Do you trust me?’ he asked Xiao Zhan who simply nodded. Yibo spread Zhan legs and placed each on his side, giving him space to put his pulsating dick between the olders's checks. He moved slowly, up and down, feeling the warm and softness of Zhan’s ass. Also noticing how slowly Zhan entrance was opening up. ‘ I cant wait to fuck you Xiao Zhan’ he teased. Only getting a whiny moan as the response. Yibo really wanted to try it but it was too soon, and he wanted it to be special and sure Xiao Zhan had the same intentions, not only acting in the heat of the moment. He wished for it to happen when they were finally sure of their feelings, not only lust.

  
Yibo took a deep breath to not cum so soon. And continued ‘ you look so hot like this Zhange, and you are soft. I’m sure it will be great to be inside you, Do you want me to be inside you Xiao Zhan?’ yibo asked. He needed to know in order to keep going.   
“I, I want you...inside me!’ Zhan begged. His hands unconsciously stroked his dick at the same time Yibo’s cock moved up and down. He had no idea about gay sex, but he was enjoying the moment too much to care.

  
“Fuck, your ass is so perfect baby! Fuck Xiao Zhan, I’m gonna come again” Yibo moaned. With more aggressive movements he came, Xiao Zhan following just a bit after.   
Yibo fell to the side and both stared at the ceiling for a long minute. Yibo got up and went to the bathroom to get a towel to clean both of them. He carefully cleaned Xiao Zhan, who now had his eyes closed and mouth slightly opened. ‘you ok?’ Yibo asked.  
“Yeah, I’m so fine. I thought you were tired...I guess not. “Zhan sarcastically replied.

  
“I was and I am but you are too tempting. Damn, I never knew it would feel this good. It’s as if we were made for this gay shit.” 

  
“ Are we? You know...gay?”

  
“ I, I don’t know...Why are you asking so many difficult questions today Zhange? We should enjoy this, the moments we have together! Yibo paused. It was obvious he was not straight after all the sexual images and dreams he had about Xiao Zhan, and so much obvious now that he had the best two orgasms with Xiao Zhan again. But fear is something quite interesting. “ Now Zhange let’s sleep for real! It’s probably super late and you look exhausted too.” 

  
Yibo pulled Zhan up in bed and place the blankets on them. He observed how the older fell asleep immediately and looked ethereal even after such a busy day. He caressed Zhan hair for a while before falling asleep happily. In such deep sleep, he dreamed of a life full of joy and achievements, always together with Xiao Zhan. The little voice in his head also asked him, ‘When are you finally going to confess to yourself and to him?’


	20. Chapter 20

When Yibo woke up, it was still very dark outside but he could see how the snow fell beautifully outside the window. He smiled. He remembered when he lived in Korea and heard couples talking about the first snow...those who spent the first snowfall together would be with each other for eternity. It was something quite silly for him back then, but now he understood all the excitement...being next to someone you love makes the snowfall even more extraordinary. Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan, who was resting in his chest. He looked so young and innocent, that made Yibo feel bad for having to leave. Yibo analysed how his lips were still swollen and the neck full of red marks which would definitely give Zhan makeup artist a lot of work to do. He knew Zhan would be fine though, his people were good. Looking closer, he noticed the small bunny necklace around Xiao Zhan’s neck. ‘Did he put it when I was sleeping?’ Yibo thought. He was happy Xiao Zhan was wearing it, and later he could ask. Yibo got up slowly from the bed and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Getting dressed fast and looking at the time he knew he would definitely be late but whatever. He glanced at Xiao Zhan who was still deeply sleeping and blew a kiss at him...with that Yibo left. ...

“Lulu I need to talk to you.” Xiao Zhan said. Few minutes after Yibo left, Zhan woke up. He was feeling lonely for not having that warm body next to his, but also happy for the moment they shared together. His phone was filled with messages from the younger such as ‘Gege remember to eat', ‘Gege miss youu' and ‘Xiao Zhan I look so handsome’...just the usual. He wanted to ask about the night they had but he could read Yibo’s emotions and both were not ready to get serious about it. Later in the afternoon when he had finished filming, Xiao Zhan video called LuLu. They talked about their recent works and future projects, but also food and the gossips going on in their busy world. As planned, Xiao Zhan wanted to rant about his feelings until he felt better about the idea of liking Yibo. However, the more he added to the negative side of the idea, LuLu supported him with positive arguments.

“Zhan you guys know each other for 3 years! I never saw two guys getting along so well like you two do and like you said when you are with him everything changes. You become more childish, free and able to handle anything...it is complicated cause we live a life where everyone knows what we are doing 24/7 but that’s okay. I know you will be able to figure out something...and you have your shije to help you.” Lulu said sincerely. “But please admit to yourself that you are in love with him...when you finally do that you will feel better.”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same? He could have kissed me because of impulses...maybe he was sexually frustrated and needed someone. I’m not good enough for Wang Yibo, even worse I’m a man. Yibo is definitely straight. I cant believe I'm coming out as gay."

"its okay baby. You thought you were straight almost all of your life until you met your BoDi. I’m sure he feels the same, have you never seen those hundreds of videos of Yibo just staring at you? I would give anything for someone to look at me like that. So much love.” Lulu confessed. She sounded genuine, which made Xiao Zhan recall all those moments from 2018 until now. After few more gossips and laughs, both had to go as their schedules did not permit longer conversations.

Before Zhan went to film another interview, he laid in his hotel bed recalling the warmth and actions in that exact place, hugging himself. ‘I love you’ he whispered quietly, letting all the hidden fondness towards Yibo finally be free. It was too overwhelming to say it out loud, even though he was there all alone. A tiny teardrop fell down his cheeks, but that tiny thing held loads of memories and hardships.

...

Yibo jerked off like crazy, he was reaching his limits and at the peak of orgasm the words that slip from his lips were ‘Zhange'. It was the second time in the day he had done such an act in a not so appropriate place. He was not able to hold himself back though, he could still feel Zhan’s pouty lips around his dick and how that beautiful mouth swallowed him deep. The first place he touched himself was in the changing room of DDU, leading to his seniors asking Yibo what took him so long. The recent one was inside his fancy car, parked close to his hotel. ‘Ah fuck Xiao Zhan' he moaned, releasing all the pleasure. Yibo quickly cleaned himself and got out of the car.

“Hey Yibo. I haven’t seen you in ages!” Yixing greeted him, making Yibo jump a bit. The man dressed casually and had the biggest smile on his face. “Are you staying in this hotel too?”

“Hm. Do you wanna go for a drink?” Yibo asked, trying to keep his serious posture. They walked inside, heading to the top floor where there was a bar. The place was quiet, which made Yibo sigh in relief. He ordered the drink and went back to the table with his friend. “What are you doing here?”

“I had some music videos to film here, and I’m recruiting people for my agency. Many of them sent videos of amazing dances, but I want to see if I can find anyone who gets my attention in the streets. What about you?”

“Filming a new drama. I will have to go to this city a bit faraway from here...it’s gonna be so tiring!” Yibo said, taking a shot of his drink right after.

“I can imagine. Did you tell Xiao Zhan?”

“Huh? I- well not really. It won’t be for that long anyway, but I might tell him. Why do you ask?”

“You guys are pretty close. The way you were looking at him in that party the other day...really shows you care about him. I’m a stan since day one anyway.”

“Ha...ha thanks.”

Both men enjoyed the drinks and the feeling of being done with work for the day. Yibo asked about Jackson and Wallice, laughed at Yixing’s jokes and listened carefully about every news. However, his mind was keep going back to Xiao Zhan as always and he had a feeling he should call him. Biding his farewell, Yibo left. In the hotel room, Yibo tried calling Xiao Zhan but he did not pick up. Feeling s bit frustrated and sad Yibo left a message

‘Hey, I hope you are okay! I hope you’re having a good day and eating properly. I will be leaving tomorrow morning to film my new drama...the location is quite far but I will still send you the name so you can look up. I’m gonna stay there for 4 days, then I will be back. I will miss you loads. _Dont get hurt while I’m gone GeGe_!’


	21. Chapter 21

When Xiao Zhan got back to the hotel, he came across Yibo’s message. Even if he did not want to, it was inevitable to not feel sad with the sudden trip. After a long day reflecting about his own feelings, he felt the urge to see Yibo and hug him, but now he would have to wait more days...maybe during Yibo’s absence, he could find the courage to confess and perhaps start a new chapter of his life with his DiDi, if the same shared the feelings. Xiao Zhan simply wished Yibo had a safe trip and once again dived into the thoughts that had been haunting him for many hours.   
...  
In the first day after truly admitting the feelings to himself, Xiao Zhan was agitated. He kept checking his Wechat and the names trending on Weibo, just to be sure Yibo was safe during the trip. As if it was bad luck, he did not get any information, neither from the App and his friend...it was frustrating.

The second day was a bit better than the first, Yibo had given signal he was alive and well. The recording of his new drama was going smoothly, even though he was still shy around the new colleagues, and he was eating well too. Everything Xiao Zhan wanted to hear. 

The third day was more turbulent though. Yibo’s crazy fans found a way to stalk him into the set and discovered he was having a kiss scene with one of the actresses. Obviously, they had to post it everywhere which caused many fandoms to fight with each other, especially the extreme solos stans and the BJYX stans. Xiao Zhan got dragged into the fight, and haters messaged him disturbing and aggressive things. Once again, he ignored all the evil comments and carried on with his busy day, still managing to keep an eye on how Yibo was doing...everything silently and carefully.

On the fourth and last day of such long torture, Yibo had warned Xiao Zhan he would be going back to Shanghai. It was a long trip, where Yibo could sleep and regain all the energy but instead he was spamming Xiao Zhan with pictures and emojis. Wang Yibo was being the childish gremlin as always, which made Zhan happy, but he wanted the flirty Yibo at that exact moment...he wanted to see if the other would show any interest. Until...

‘Gege, to celebrate my safe trip you should come to my house. Dont you think? We eat something and have fun.’ Xiao Zhan could hear the flirty tone from the audio Yibo sent. He was speaking quietly and breathy, as if he was close to Zhan’s ear. 

‘I don’t think I can Yibo. My schedule is quite busy today and my manager would kill me if I keep going out like this.’ He answered honestly. In this period of time, Zhan had stay away from everyone quite a lot of times which led to Mr Li interrogating him. - Extremely dangerous.

‘Mhm. Let me know if your plans change Gege...I miss your soft lips.’ 

Huh? Xiao Zhan took a deep breath to calm his heart and stared at the message. Some unnoticed time passed, and he turned off his phone in embarrassment. Walked in his studio and kept his mind busy writing improvement essays. 

When the dawn finally came, Zhan left the studio with some of his colleagues and headed back to the hotel. The streets outside were filled with busy people and the New Year lights illuminated the darkest places of the city. ’How pretty’ Xiao Zhan thought. He got his phone and captured the moment to send to Yibo before entering the van. At arriving in the hotel, there was a big group of girls waiting near the parking space, which made Zhan smile...he missed his fans so much. He quickly got out of the van to wave at them and was welcomed with loud screaming, extremely loud.

‘Xiao Zhan...’ he heard.

‘STAY AWAY FROM OUR YIBO! YOU ARE TOXIC FOR HIM! DISSAPEAR FROM HERE' a girl shouted while throwing a rock towards Zhan and his crew. Other girls joined her, creating a mess in the hotel car park. Mr Li, the manager, grabbed Xiao Zhan and took him to his room before any major problem occurred. To his surprise, Mr Li did not say any word about the incident and just left Zhan alone in his room. 

The screaming could still be heard from outside and the hate in that girl’s voice echoed in Xiao Zhan’s mind. ‘Stay away, stay away, stay away' was the only thing he could hear together with the loud sirens of police. ‘Stay away’ Xiao Zhan repeated to himself, while hugging his body in that cold floor. Tears were falling down and a sharp pain woke him from the upsetting thoughts...he was bleeding. After all, the girl was able to get him.

The cut was not deep but would definitely leave a little scar, it hurts but not as much as being hated by so many people that don’t even know you.

Xiao Zhan could not be bothered to get up and clean it, his legs were too tired and his mind too loud. The truth was that loving Yibo was dangerous, it was walking into fire knowing you will get burned and simply not being able to get out and run. Their friendship was risky, but love is way more. Zhan closed his eyes and fell asleep, wishing it was all a nightmare about to end.

Everything repeating itself.  
...


	22. Chapter 22

Xiao Zhan felt cold, almost freezing and then warm and hot. Xiao Zhan felt the soft blankets cover his body gently and he heard that voice, ah that beautiful and calming voice. Was it a dream? He asked himself. When opening his eyes, a tall slender figure was in front of him, worried and angry  
.  
“Yibo...” he called.

“Xiao Zhan, how are you feeling? Do you need something to eat? I already cleaned that cut from your face...I also talked to the security guards. I’m so sorry Gege.”

“How?”

“Ah...I was sending you loads of messages...I tried calling to tell you they are editing our video and it’s pretty cool. Its almost done, I couldn’t believe how fast they are working. But then you didn’t pick up and I kinda had a bad feeling...so I came. I’m sorry!”

“Wang Yibo...you silly boy!” Zhan said, letting out a husky laugh. “You are always here for me...but I’m never there for you.”

“Ge, what are you talking about?” Yibo asked. He took Zhan’s hand into his and felt a little tear wet it. In his eyes, Xiao Zhan was the most adorable person in the world and when he cried, a piece of Yibo’s heart was destroyed.

“Yibo I ignored you purposely! I hurt you purposely...I wanted to have drunk coffee with you that day and watched the snowfall...I want to stay close to you always, be that friend you need but I am forbidden. I am threatened every day that if people see us together, our lives would be ruined...your life. I tried not to be a coward and finally start talking with you again but after today...I need to stay away from you. Yibo I-

So unexpectedly, Yibo joined their lips together. He could not bear to listen to Xiao Zhan torturing himself after being harassed by so many girls, and still not accepting the fact that none of that was his fault. The kiss was the most wonderful way to show him Yibo was not mad. It started slowly as always, their lips shyly moving in sync and tasting the sweetness of each other. For Yibo’s surprise, Zhan deepened the kiss and sucked those lips fiercely, forcing quiet moans out of the younger. When both were breathless, Yibo simply hugged tightly the man in front of him.

“Zhange, I will never blame you...our life is extremely difficult, I know that since I was 13...So please, never torture yourself with those words again. I do wanna hear the full story, and maybe find out if Chen Xuan has something to do with it...but not now. Let’s just enjoy each other company.”

“Yibo...”

“I like you Xiao Zhan.” Yibo confessed at loud, not only to Zhan but to himself aswell. “ I like you for so long...I was just dumb to not realise it. I missed you loads Zhange, after you got into my life again, I sleep so much better, I feel happier and alive.” He let go of the hug, and stared at those pretty sparkly eyes. “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same or maybe feel disgusted...”

“Fuck Yibo. I love you so damn much!” Xiao Zhan said. The happiness in his heart could not be explained and all the worries just vanished in the air.

“R-really? I was so scared you would not feel the same...I mean we have been having some serious sexual tension for months but I don’t know, I was still worried. You are so handsome and smart, and I thought you saw me just as your Didi.”

“It was complicated but I couldn’t hold it for any longer. It’s been years trying to hide all my feelings...it was overwhelming to figure it all out in just a few months, but worth it!” 

“Holy shit! Come here.” Yibo pulled Zhan closer to him and kissed his forehead. You’re not alone.” Kissed his nose. “I have been horny for you...” kissed his cheeks. “For a long time too.” Kissed his lips. “I’m just good at hiding it.” 

Xiao Zhan pushed Yibo down to the bed and climbed onto his lap, thrusting slowly. ‘Prove it to me' Zhan teased. He moved his hips, feeling Yibo’s dick hardening underneath the jeans. That sensation again between his ass drived Zhan insane...Yibo’s hotness could be felt through that fabric, but Xiao Zhan wanted more. ‘ Undress’ he commanded. Yibo obeyed, and unzipped his pants and with a bit of help he was lying half naked in bed, with his sexy crush on top.

“What are you gonna do Zhange?”

“You’re so hot...Yibo I want to taste you again, have you cumming in my mouth. You taste so good.”

“ Zhange...you’re talking so dirty. Are you sure sure you are new to this?”

“Mhm...you make me feel this way.”

“New year is approaching...I’m happy we are next to each other now. You’re not allowed to leave me anymore....remember the Endless Summer promise!”

“We won’t be able to see each other that much during New year tho...”

“ I will visit you as soon we are done with work. 

Wait for me"


	23. Chapter 23

Happy New Year!

The loud cheering filled with hope echoed in the immense arenas where Xiao Zhan and Yibo spent their last day of 2020. Both men were in different places, thus upsetting the hopeful fans that believed a miracle would happen at the very last minute. However, that did not stop them from feeling close to each other. Yibo guarded in his pocket Xiao Zhan’s ring, the one the man gave him the last night they spent together in that hotel room. That little piece of silver, kept Yibo safe and confident, while Zhan had on him the sweet scent of his loved boy. Yibo had also taught and supported Xiao Zhan with his dance performance, adding a few similar movements to awaken the detective sense in their amazing fans. How he did that? Well, Zhan’s choreographer was a big fan of both and promised to keep a secret that they were rehearsing together.

When the New Year finally came and everyone was allowed to go back home, Zhan lied to his manager and crew that he was going to meet Xuan Lu and Zhoucheng. Well, it wasn’t fully a lie as he met them and took some pictures, but they were really there to take Zhan to Yibo’s house. Xiao Zhan could trust those two without a doubt, and even though he was afraid of A-Cheng reaction about his situation, the man hugged him and supported him with no hesitation. They dropped him at Yibo’s door and waved at the younger boy who was looking through the window...he looked extremely happy. 

“They still the same. I’m happy you keep contact with them" Yibo said, welcoming Zhan inside the house.

“They are my best friends. Really supporting me now and even risking it all to take me here to see you.” Zhan responded. He walked towards the sofa and sat there, ignoring the way Yibo stared at him. That look made him chuckle. “What’s wrong Yibo?”

“ N-nothing...do you want something to drink?” There was something wrong. Yibo wanted a kiss. He thought Xiao Zhan would jump om him and kiss him passionately, but he was too afraid to ask and accelerate their still not solved relationship status. 

“No.”

“Do you want something to eat?”

“No.” Zhan repeated. He was looking deeply in those sweet brown eyes in front of him, secretly testing Yibo’s patience and self control. 

“Do you want something? You just staring at me now. Did you drink something at the event?” Yibo asked. He walked back to the sofa and sat down next to Xiao Zhan, looking curious.

“Yibo...I want something...” Zhan started.” But I don’t know if you can give me.” The man was now so close to Yibo, that they could feel each other’s breath and the tension building up between them. The warm living room, turned into a hot burning dessert and every little movement Zhan made was being watched. 

“ Tell me Xiao Zhan.”

“I want to suck so badly...” Zhan placed his tiny hands on Yibo’s lap. “An ice lolly!”

“Huh? Ah” Yibo coughed awkwardly and got up, standing straight trying to hide the bulge forming in his pants.” I think I have some in my fridge...I like it too even when cold.”

Xiao Zhan was trying his best to not laugh at the situation. The same was super horny aswell, but he thought a bit of fun would relax them after a busy day. Yibo came with the lolly in his hand and Zhan quickly opened it and tasted it. The flavour was good, strawberry, very refreshing...it reminded him of home and when he was little. He shifted the sweet nostalgic thoughts to a different one. Zhan started licking it slowly from the base to the top, and at the tip he sucked a bit making a pop noise. He could feel Yibo’s intense gaze on him, but he continued until everything was finished. 

“You okay Bo di?” He asked ‘innocently ’. Zhan never thought he could be this flirty and lewd, but he changed a lot since Yibo came into his life.

“Xiao Zhan...you are teasing me, aren’t you?” Yibo asked impatiently.

“Maybe...” 

Yibo took Zhan by the wrist and pulled him into the bedroom. He pushed and pinned him into the bed. ‘You shouldn’t test me like this...to many years of accumulated horniness for you.”

“Hahaha, I see puppy! Do whatever you want with me Yibo. I missed you so much! You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you when you were teaching me the dance” Zhan said, feeling the heat rising in his ear.

“I will Zhange"

Yibo captured Zhan’s lip and sucked them, licked them and asked for entrance with his tongue. The kiss was hot and wild, and their hands explored each other’s body randomly. Yibo moved down his neck, leaving small kisses around it, and then sucked the soft lobe of Zhan’s pink ear. The man under him had his eyes tightly shut, and his pouty lips slightly opened, remembering Yibo of his most private and wet dreams.

“Zhan I need you to suck me now!” Yibo said moving to the side to let Xiao Zhan get comfortable.The older was now positioned between Yibo’s leg, helping him take off his pants. The game of pleasure started with a shy lick at the tip of Yibo’s hard cock, with few kisses following right after. Zhan’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o', when he swallowed the whole length in one depth, fast and steady. He could feel and taste every inch of Yibo, stretching his perfect mouth and hitting his throat deeply. He felt the burning sensation slowly increasing in his throat, but that pain was good. It was delicious, and he wanted more and more, but Yibo had other plans.

“Fuck...Zhan stop. I want to kiss you.” Yibo said, carefully pulling Xiao Zhan up to kiss him gently on the lips.” I want to try something, but I dont know if you will agree.”

Zhan was too gone to deny anything to Yibo, so he answered.” Anything. I agree with anything.” 

“Let’s take a shower first.” 

In the shower, Yibo tenderly washed Zhan’s hair, arms, back, and slowly stroked his dick. Up and down. Until Zhan’s moans were echoing in that bathroom, and when he was reaching his climax...Yibo stopped. He turned and pressed Zhan to the cold wall, brushing his long fingers inside the older's butt cheeks. He spent some time caressing the place with fingers full of soap, as if he explored and planned each piece of his next plan. On the other side, Xiao Zhan bit his lips hard holding the dirtiest moan, ashamed for reacting so much with a simple touch.

After drying up, they kissed their way to the bed, stumbling in some piece of clothing spread on the floor. 

“Zhan, you look so good” Yibo said between kisses. His hands travelled all the parts of that skinny body in front of him, only stopping near Zhan’s thigh. “I... I got some lube. Yu-you probably know we need it for more intimate contact.”

“What are you thinking?” Zhan asked. 

“I was looking... I mean I was searching and I, well, I want to finger you. I want to make you feel even better, Xiao Zhan. Shit, it sounds weird...Zhan If you feel uncom-"

“I want it. I want your long fingers inside me.” Zhan confessed. To be honest, after the first time they took a step further into making out, Zhan was curious about the way they could develop things. And him, himself, searched for them.” I will tell you if I’m not feeling good. I promise you, Yibo. I just want you now!”

“Mhm.” Yibo took from his drawer, a small lube bottle that he got from one of his friends, a secret though. Looking at Zhan, he could feel the man wanted it as much as he did, but there was a bit if fear in those beautiful eyes.” Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Yibo kissed those lips again, and coated his fingers with lube. He started by massaging the tight entrance, and watching Zhan’s expressions. The man was taking deep breaths, and staring down to the job being done on him. Without a hurry, the finger was slowly making its way inside. It felt strange, but warm, tight but extremely soft. In and out. The movements increased as the moans got louder, and a second finger was inserted. Yibo began scissoring him carefully, watching how Zhan was becoming fully hard again. The small hole was red and wet, so ready for more. The speed was faster, the mess was even bigger. Xiao Zhan’s cock was already leaking a decent amount of pre cum, which dripped down his pink hole and made Yibo’s work easier. As he deepened his fingers, Xiao Zhan screamed loudly, unwilling warning Yibo he had hit the perfect spot. One, two and three more fierce movements, and Zhan came untouched. As well as Yibo.

“Y-yibo...” he moaned. Zhan’s legs were shaking, and as much he tried to stop them , he just couldn’t.

“ You’re so beautiful! So fucking beautiful!” Yibo hugged him.” Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah...I can’t stop...ah...sh-shaking”

“It shows it was really good then...Look at you! Being so handsome that made me come with simply staring at you. Fuck, baby....”

“Ahh!” That particular word, ‘, baby’, had an effect on Xiao Zhan. He wanted more, he wanted to be called baby while Yibo fucked him deep on that bed, until it was hard to breath. He wanted to be railed hard for hours, and just listen to Yibo call him ‘baby,’. “I want more.”

“Zhan...we can’t.”

“Why?”

“We need more preparation...I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Mhm...I will wait.” Zhan answered, looking at Yibo with the most soft eyes and warming smile.

“Let’s clean up and sleep, oki?”

“Yes Bodi!”

“Xiao Zhan..."

"Yeah?"

Happy New year!”

“Happy New year Wang Yibo!”


	24. Chapter 24

2021 was going smoothly. 

Xiao Zhan had his endorsements to record and he was finally appearing more to the public. Yibo continued filming his drama and becoming the ambassador of many and many famous companies. The two men were glowing and with that, their fans too. Everyone was happy and enjoying one more year of cheering for their artists. There were the optimistic fans who believed that with new BL dramas coming up, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo would be free to do whatever they wanted. The media would not pay 100% attention on their life, well maybe 90%, thus allowing them to interact openly.

Their strange relationship was going fine too. They could almost say they were a couple, if both had in fact talked about it. When Xiao Zhan started a conversation, Yibo would run away, ignore...he was too scared to talk about it but at the same time he wanted to be in a relationship with his loved one. When it came to Yibo trying to initiate something, he would always turn it into something totally different. Kissing, admiring and talking about each other was a common thing, now one had to step forward to say the simple word ‘boyfriend’.

In the other side of the story, the tension was worsening between Mr Li and Mei Xiu. They argued over the delayed video of Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo. The screams were loud and escaped the door of the room, alarming everyone on the outside.

“I do not understand you Mr Li! When we agreed with the collaboration, you were so happy and hopeful for our boy. Now, you are acting like 4 years old. Be clear with your actions!’ Mei Xiu fought back.

“I was indeed happy and I confess with all the happiness, I failed to understand that the person who Xiao Zhan was going to film with was that spoiled boy. Even after, I did not say anything...but Xiao Zhan was harassed by that boy’s fans! I will not permit it!”

“Oh Lord! Xiao Zhan is not a baby and we spent loads of money and time for this. If he had a problem, he would have told me. Can you imagine how much money our boys will get? And our company? Their fans are crazy about them...I will ensure that they are protected from any hate...don’t try to stop me Mr Li. I have a lot of power. You can’t imagine.” Mei Xiu was determined to help Zhan and Yibo please their fans. She understood the sadness the artists and their followers felt, as she was also a big fan. She had the money and power to protect both, and the will to make those two stars shine brighter than the sun. That woman was a present in their life, and they had to take that present. 

“We are not in a drama, lady. I’m not scared of you.”

“Believe me...you should be.”

Mr Li was annoyed, angry and extremely determined to bring that woman down. He managed Xiao Zhan for a while, and he was not going to lose the power he had over everything the actor did. Mr Li was a man that could get anything he wanted, in any way possible, and if he was successful in maintaining Xiao Zhan away from that spoiled brat...he would do it again and again. Mr Li hated those young kids who thought they owned the world. ‘If I can’t do it, I know someone who can.’ He thought to himself.

....

‘Yibo stop being annoying!’

Xiao Zhan shouted for the 10th time through the phone. His dear puppy kept spamming with messages, audios and pictures of himself and his bodyguard. ‘Lele is ready to protect you too anytime Zhange! He did it once so he can do it again!’ Yibo replied with a childish voice. 

‘Yibo, I was thinking...and I’m too dumb for never asking, but how the paparazzi never got a picture of us together now? You have been to my hotel quite few times and even to my house. So, like? 

How?’

‘I have my ways Gege. I will always keep your image protected.’

‘Ya tell me!’

‘My managers are quite good at persuading them. Also, if they post a picture without our permission, they will get into a lot of trouble...some money probably would help too but I never had to use that. I simply use my charms and boom!'

‘Such a narcissist...I’m happy we are careful about it too and have people in our side. When are we gonna see each other again?’

‘Missing my dick?’

‘WANG YIBO! Have some respect, okay? I just want to see you, nothing else.’

‘Well, I do be missing how nice your mouth feels. But I miss hearing your voice properly and laughing with you, punching you and even watching you read some boring books.’

‘I finish work at 2am today. Flying from Changsha to Beijing, probably arriving at the hotel at 5, then I’m just leaving to film some ads at 4PM. What is your schedule?’

‘I’m arriving at Beijing around 8AM and I finish filming DDU at 12. Then I have a break until 3pm and then I catch a flight to Shanghai at 4.30. We have some time to meet, but this time I’m taking you to my hotel. I will send my driver and Lele to pick you up in a different car, it will be a red car. I’m gonna see you at 1pm in my hotel baby.’

‘Ah okay.’  
Zhan just agreed. He was overwhelmed by how Yibo was taking control of the things so well, so organised and mature. He truly had grown up over this years and Xiao Zhan was so proud. But in his heart, everything was going too nicely, too happy to be real and mind was screaming at him to do not get his hopes high.  
...

Xiao Zhan sank his fingers deep into his hole, deeper and deeper the more he thought about Yibo fucking him. Since the last time they were together, gay porn did not leave Xiao Zhan ‘phone and mind. He was curious, amazed at how passionate and real those guys seemed to be with their partners. Xiao Zhan was used with the loud fake moaning of the ladies and the manipulative ways those straight guys treated them...he came to realise how much better it was to watch two real aroused men having the time of their life. Fake or not, it seemed real for him.  
His fingers were at a crazy speed, making the wet noises louder and the blankets messier. His hole was so nicely opened, he had been practicing so much and learning so much that he just needed Yibo inside him. And maybe one day, him inside Yibo.   
The hit orgasm was close, Zhan could feel it. The warm, burning feeling build up in his balls. So close, but interrupted by a message. 

‘Gege, what you doing?’

Xiao Zhan looked at the message with his unoccupied hand. Feeling naughty, he answered with an audio. ‘L-Lao Wang, what...ah...do you think I-Im doing?’ 

Unexpectedly, Yibo was trying to video call him. He knew Yibo was bold and curious but not the point of video calling him during something like this. Xiao Zhan denied the call and kept going with the voice messages, still with his fingers deep inside him. ‘Yibo, your Gege is too shy. What about using a bit of your imagination? Want some help? ‘Zhan asked using his innocent voice. ‘My fingers are so deep inside me...I’m pretending it’s you.’ He whispered. Face burning hot with the filthy words that were coming from his mouth. Something so unexpected that he found out after meeting Yibo.

‘Tomorrow. You will see what will happen Gege' Yibo said. Those were his last words for the night, which made Xiao Zhan reach his orgasm faster. But those words were also intimidating and a little bit disappointing. Xiao Zhan expected Yibo to join his game, but the younger simply left. No replies. No goodnight.

‘Well goodnight Mr Wang Yibo.’ He sent it in hope a message would appear but nothing. Zhan cleaned himself and closed his eyes, wishing for tomorrow to come faster.


	25. Chapter 25

Mr Fan Li, the manager of one of the biggest stars in China. Almost never seen in public, always covering his face to keep his privacy at the extreme but always ready to control and organise the public and private life of Xiao Zhan. He was always watching the celebrity during The Untamed, always observing the people around him and working with him. Mr Li took his work very serious, as it was the biggest opportunity he had in his life and the most well paid too. However, when he set eye in Xiao Zhan coworker, he did not like him. In his eyes, Yibo thought he was better than everyone else, he had everything whenever he wanted, talentless kid with just a pretty face. Mr Li never cared about the hard work Yibo had to do since a young age, he thought it was all marketing...all lies just for people to pity the young boy and help him rise to fame. Mr Li never liked those type of people, rich ones that could get anything they wanted with just a smile and charming eyes, compared to him who had fought his whole life for a simple job. Xiao Zhan was just a beautiful and humble boy that could not see the dirty and darkness held inside Yibo’s eyes, and was slowly falling under a snake hole the more he stayed next to him. Well, at least that’s what was inside Mr Fan Li mind. ‘Such a beautiful innocent boy to protect.’

On that exact day he had an argument with Mei Xiu, he went home to calm his mind and think about his choices in life. He got a job, placed Xiao Zhan at the top of the world, arranged many endorsements and kept him protected. He also saw Xiao Zhan angry, crying and people around him suffering, but it was all for good. There was only one way that he could keep being successful and that was keeping the dancer boy away, and what’s the best way of getting near him? Using the closest person, he had. Chen Xuan. Mr Li knew her personality, knew how she would get angry so easily and never let someone else finish their side of the story. He saw how affected she got when she heard his discussion with Xiao Zhan back in the 2019 December night.

Mr Li observed how her admiration for Xiao Zhan transformed into hatred just with few misunderstood words. Easy people like that... Ah how he loved. ‘Xiao Zhan, Xiao Zhan you pretty thing. When am I going to have you just for myself?‘ he asked, tilting his head back analysing a little photo card in his hand.

...

“hmm. Yes, how should I do that?... Ah got it. Thank you so much

” ... “Aigoo can you be nice to me, sunbaenim? “ Xiao Zhan questioned. The time to meet had finally arrived and the two lovers were madly teasing each other in a small hotel room hidden in the suburbs of that big city.

“Stop being a koreaboo and i will treat you like a real person. “

“hmm boring. “ He pouted. “ Yibo have you seen the view from here? It’s amazing! Now I regret not bringing my phone. “Zhan said. He stared at the infinite collection of beautiful trees in that area and the serenity of air. “It was a good idea of not going to your hotel as we had planned.”

“I was not expecting some fans to show up there. We changed the whole schedule but they still managed to get there at the same time I did.” Yibo responded. His eyes were glued to the happy and innocent Xiao Zhan, and hoped that bunny smile would never disappear.

“Lele was smart though. He managed to sneak you in the red car, pick me up on time, book an hotel for us which his family owns and change cars as nothing happened. How did he even do all of this? “

“Lele ways I guess. I’m happy he created a safe word and you understood it.”

“i mean he kept saying red zone lion. I thought he was onto something not gonna lie but I used my brain. I’m not sure if you’d be able to do the same though... I’m very grateful to him. “

“We can create a secret word too. But I feel you will know it when I say it... Let’s see if you will be smart enough. But right now, we should focus on ourselves, don’t you think? Xiao Zhan has been very naughty lately. “

“Don’t be so embarrassing with your pillow talk. I waited so long for this. “ he said. Lips already attacking each other’s and hands travelling up and down, discovering each inch of their body all over again. “ Yibo, we will be fine right? Me and you getting through this? I don’t want to be away from you anymore?” Xiao Zhan asked between the softened kisses.

“Gege why are you being so emotional right now? Should we not go to the part where I finally get to fuck you?” Yibo complained. His words came out in a sexy and dominant tone, but his heart was beating so fast. His eyes forcing themselves to don’t get wet, and the soft emotions show up in the wrong time. Xiao Zhan is so thoughtful, mature and independent, but that soft side, who showed up only with Yibo, was his weak point. “We will get through it.”

“Yibo...I’m not running from you again. The way we did not even said goodbye, I fee-"

Yibo’s sweet lips stole a kiss from the men in front of him, who was frozen almost as a statue. “you really talk too much Ge. Please, focus on us.” His large hands pressed harder in Zhan’s waist. “Xiao Zhan, you are everything I have ever wanted... “in a blink, both men were laying in bed, feeling the passion from each others body. Time stopped when Yibo stared at that bunny smile who always comforted him. “I will make you mine. Although... You already belong to me.”

Yibo pressed himself tightly against Xiao Zhan’s body, feeling the growing erection beneath him. His tongue played with the burning red lobe of the man under his body causing tiny moans to be heard. “Yi-Yibo...stop teasing m-me” Yibo made his way down to the pale neck and left red marks as a way to remind Zhan he was there, and will always be there.

His left hand palmed the hardness inside those tight jeans, while his mouth devoured the rosy nipples. “Are...fuck. Are you, having a good time there?” Xiao Zhan asked. He observed Yibo’s expressions and big hand move unsteadily around his crotch. ‘Calm down puppy ‘he thought.

Zhan separated their bodies, hearing Yibo let out a groan of dissapointment. Moving slightly up, Xiao Zhan took off his jeans and underwear and threw them across the room. He grabbed Yibo’s head gently and guided it to the now visible erection. “Take it all” Xiao Zhan ordered. The younger man was surprised with such a dominant act coming so suddenly from his sweet Zhan Zhan, but obeyed. Yibo licked the head, and wrapped his mouth around it... Just circulating the tip with his tongue. Xiao Zhan tasted extremely good, and the aphrodisiac scent of his skin drove Yibo insane. In one motion, he took it all in his mouth, making Zhan groan in pleasure. Up and down, he accelerated the movements and when Zhan finally released, he swallowed every drop of the honey like liquid. “Turn around baby. Face the bed... I will get the lube.” Yibo said. He got up from the bed and quickly came back with the bottle. Zhan felt something different this time... The heat from Yibos body was stronger, his delicate skin touched his skin too. “You ok? “

“I wanna see you Yibo.” Zhan could feel Yibo’s dick brushing against his ass. His eyes were tightly shut, mind trying to visualise the man and how hot he probably looks behind him.

On the other hand, Yibo traced Zhan’s back with kisses, while soaking his fingers with lube. “Be patience ZhanZhan.” Xiao Zhan tried to speak against that sentence, but was interrupted by one finger sliding inside his hole. It was cold and wet, but it quickly warmed up when Yibo started to move it in and out, creating a strange but familiar sound. ‘Fas-ster!” Zhan cried. Yibo answered his call, and moved his finger rapidly hitting the prostrate once, twice until Zhan was shaking and begging him to stop. “Didn’t you tell me to move faster Zhange? I’m just doing what you asked for.”

“I-I’m sorry... Gonna cum Yibo...dont stop!” Zhan pleaded. Yibo proceeded with the movement, but this time slower but deeper. It was a torture for Xiao Zhan, a pitiless torture. When his Ge was reaching the most amazing orgasm he would probably have, Yibo stopped. He turned Xiao Zhan around, in a way they would face each other and asked “Do you trust me, Xiao Zhan?”

“Al-always. “Zhan whined.

Yibo took his long fingers out and spread Zhan’s legs wide. His eyes devouring the most intimidate parts of the man in front of him. “I have been waiting for this.” He lowered his head, almost hiding his face and gave a kitten lick to the now swollen hole. Zhan cried louder. Yibos warm tongue slowly tasted the sweetness he was craving for, and when he could not bare anymore, it slid in. His tongue moved in and out, each time faster as Zhan grabbed his head to deepen the amazing feeling.

He could feel it coming, in himself and Xiao Zhan, therefore the tongue was replaced by those long fingers, finally hitting the right spot. They came together. “Zhan, in telling you. I can come many times just by looking at you.”

“Yibo shut up!”

“There’s only one thing missing. I want to hear you moan louder...i fucking love how you sound Zhange! Please don’t hold back.” Yibo said. He quickly moved closer to Xiao Zhan and kissed his nose. “I want to know how you sound when I’m inside you.”

“Then shush Wang Yibo and fuck me!” Xiao Zhan almost felt his soul leaving his body again due to embarrassment. It was not as bad as before, but he was slowly adjusting to the new way he spoke to Yibo. He loved this new relation so much!


	26. Chapter 26

The younger simply smiled at the sentence and placed a soft kiss in Zhan’s cheek. He loves Xiao Zhan so much that he could go crazy. He loves Xiao Zhan so much that he would give up his entire life just for that man. He loves Xiao Zhan so much that a little gesture such as smiling coming from him was the reason Yibo could keep going. Yibo would do anything for both of them to be happy and protected. 

The environment was perfect... Just as Yibo and Zhan imagined. They were at peace, alone in a place no one could find them... They were just enjoying each others company without noticing the crazy world out there. 

Until a loud bang was heard.

Someone was maniacally knocking on the door. Yibo got up immediately, feeling his heart shrink in his chest. ‘Fuck, is it a fan? ‘ he thought, quickly covering Zhan with a blanket and collecting their clothes from the floor. “Quickly, get up baby. Let me see who’s there.”

Yibo walked to the door and opened it slightly. Behind that door, there was a girl... Very familiar to Yibo who looked extremely pissed. “What the fuck are you doing here? Come in, I don’t want to bring more attention.”

“Chen Xuan...hi” Zhan said shyly. He was trying to make the bed look more presentable as if nothing was happening there.

“Don’t bother with that. I can smell it from outside that door.” She said it shamelessly. “You guys do be fucking then... Pathetic.”

“Cut the bullshit. How did you find us?"

“You haven’t messaged me in so long Wang Yibo. You don’t even ask me how am I or what am up to. Well, I had my ways.” Chen Xuan responded. She was looking around, analysing how messy that room was. “You must really like fucking him. You never made our room this messy, and we did it quite often...dont you miss it? How good I made you feel Bobo?”

“What? What the fuck you saying Xuan? You are talking as if we did it with feelings... It was just for fun, you even said it! I don’t miss it at all. Leave now!” Yibo said. His blood was boiling, ready to throw that person out of the room with his own hands. However, he forced himself to be calm in front of Xiao Zhan. 

“You hurt my feelings like that.” She pouted. Xuan moved closer and kissed Yibo lips. 

“BACK OFF”

“Hahah okay okay, but... How about that one girl you went out last year? I remember you saying she was amazing. He is such a Casanova isn’t he Zhan?”

“I’m leaving. You guys can talk privately, I’m not part of this. Excuse me! ” Zhan exclaimed. He really was not part of that conversation, furthermore, he had a bad feeling about where that topic was going. 

“Zhan Zhan stay! I need to talk to you too!” Chen Xuan stopped him. “ You are not like Yibo right? I never heard of any dating rumour, never saw you with anyone. You are the most pure idol out here.  
But may I ask you what is your relationship with Mei Xiu? Ah you probably wondering why I’m asking, but it’s just cause there’s rumours she was in your room few months ago...she got out very excited. Her cheeks were all flushed... May I ask what happened?”

“Nothing happened. She’s just someone I am working with and visited me to discuss about work. “Zhan responded. He was not lying, that night Mei Xiu visited him for work related topic... The kiss was just something she did by mistake.

“You’re hiding something. Ahahahahhaha it’s funny! How good yours and Yibo relationship... Already lying to each other!”

“Zhange, tell me.” Yibo pleaded. He just wanted to get out of that place. 

“Yibo, she kissed me. But I swear nothing happened! She thought I liked her but then she wanted to test something... She asked about you too! I-I think she noticed how we were so close to each other!” Zhan was nervous, he could feel his heart pulsation in his ears. He knew Yibo was possessive and impulsive, but nothing happened. He would not get angry, right? 

“You guys kissed? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We weren’t together. It was way before we knew about our feelings properly... Yibo I’m sorry.” Zhan approached him. He wanted to kiss Yibo so badly. 

“Are we even together though? We did not talk about it.” the answer was cold. So cold that Zhan felt the temperature in the room decrease.

“Yibo...please don’t. I’m so sorry! Let’s start again okay? Let’s be better people this time.” Xiao Zhan was at the verge of breaking down. His eyes were full of tears he kept for so long, and his hand were trembling. 

“I guess we will need to part again. This is too fucking overwhelming Xiao Zhan. You know, in 2018...the endless summer? That endless thing... It ends now.”Yibo pushed him back and walked towards Chen Xuan. “Now tell me, what’s your problem with Xiao Zhan? You broke us, now at least answer it.” 

“Yibo...”Chen Xuan looked at her friend. Yibo had that distant look she hated so much... That she tried to take away from him and transform it into a happy expression. 

“ANSWER!” the room was filled with tension and sadness. 

“Yibo, in 2019 I went to visit Xiao Zhan to give him flowers and thank him for being a good friend” Ah are you being a good friend now? “... I overheard him talking to his manager. They were discussing something about you...”she hesitated. Was it a good idea to have obeyed Mr Li and cause problem? 

“Say the same words Chen Xuan. The same words you heard Xiao Zhan saying!”

“His manager said he doesn’t need you anymore... He was too famous already. Xiao Zhan agreed... He said ‘yes’ and he said he would ignore you cause he did not care.” At remembering the conversation, at repeating the same words calmly thus time, the realisation came that in fact Zhan did not say much. She turned to him. Xiao Zhan was silently crying at the corner of the room. He carved his nails into his skin, suppressing his anger. The world seemed to have stopped. ‘What the fuck did I do?’

“Ah I see... Then me and him got into a fight and never spoke again. Is it true what she said?” He asked Zhan. 

“Mhm. Mr Li hates you so much... I was a coward... I was not able to fight him until the end and gave in. Yibo, I’m sorry you have to hear everything like this.” Zhan told him. It have been hunting him in his dreams and everyday of his life. 

“Much for our Endless summer promise... “ Yibo murmured. 

“Zhan you’re bleeding!” Chen Xuan shouted. She saw blood going down his left wrist, falling on the floor drop by drop. 

“You two leave now! I can't believe you're holding into something that happened years ago. 

“Yibo...” Chuan tried holding his hand but was pushed away. 

“LEAVE! “


	27. Chapter 27

“ITS MY FAULT!” Chen Xuan screamed before stepping out of the room.

“Wha-“

“Mr Li told me to follow you, cause he was sure Xiao Zhan would meet you during his little break. Mr Li was aware of how often you guys were meeting... I don’t know how! Yibo, he told me to come here and do all of this.” Xuan confessed. Her voice shaking as she continued, “It’s not only his fault I know. I made a huge mistake... I just realised it today... When I saw that distant look again, when I saw Xiao Zhan hurting himself, when I said those words aloud... I did not even hear anything bad coming from Zhan mouth that day...”

“Xuan, speak slower. “ Yibo commanded.

“That day in Lay’s party... I shouted at Xiao Zhan... I made him feel bad and cry. I told him horrible things that I regret now. I-I was so mad that after your guys fight, you were so devastated. I was so mad at myself I could not protect you that I blamed it all on Xiao Zhan.” She paused to take a deep breath. “ Zhan, you need to be careful with Mr Li. He is dangerous...the way he talks about you it’s scary... He’s obsessed. He used all his power to ruin Yibo just because of you. He kept saying Yibo was a piece of shit... I agreed with this because I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I know...he tried to manipulate me so much.” Zhan replied. He was tired, weak and hurting. Not only physically but also mentally. Everything bad that happens to Yibo has to do with him. “Yibo, I am sorry for involving you in this.”

“Xiao Zhan...” Yibo saw the amount of blood surrounding Zhan. It was so much. How did he even manage to do that to himself? “Leave... I don’t want to see you. You too Xuan, just fucking go... Actually, leave first, I don’t want people seeing all this mess together.”

“Im so sorry BoBo.” She said taking her leave. Xuan stepped out of the door first as ordered and did not look back. She was to ashamed to face Xiao Zhan after all the mess she got him into...simply went separate ways.

//

"FUCKK!" 

“I’m sorry...” Zhan apologised. He opened the door planning to leave but was pulled back by Yibo. The younger boy hugged him so tightly whispering multiple ‘sorry’ in his ear. “Yibo?”

“Did you not realise I was using a secret word? Xiao Zhan you’re so stupid.... Fuck, I hurt you so much baby... Im so sorry.” Yibo pulled him more and more into the hug. Xiao Zhan cherished the moment. Tears falling down his cheeks due to the relief he felt knowing Yibo was okay... Yibo was not hurt.

“I... I understood the message... I knew you were not mad with me but the way you acted so coldly at the end... I don’t know. I felt scared that you just gave up.”

“I love you Xiao Zhan.” He confessed. Words so intensely revealed from the bottom of his heart.

“I love you so much Wang Yibo!” Zhan kissed Yibos lips, feeling the sweet aroma and the taste of tears mixed together.

“Zhange...your wrist. Go sit in bed... I will get something in the bathroom.”Yibo quickly ran to the bathroom to get the first aid and came back to his lover. “I can’t believe you did this to yourself.”

“I was so nervous and scared. I did not even realise it until Xuan told me I was bleeding... I guess its something I need to contr- OUCH slowly.”

“I feel upset about all of this. We were supposed to have a good time and it git ruined... But at the same time, I’m happy.” Yibo said with a big smile.

“Happy?”

“I got everything recorded. As soon as I saw Chen Xuan, I knew something would happen, therefore, when she started talking about the incident of 2019 I sneakily put my phone to record hehe.” Yibo finalised the first aid in Zhan’s wrist and laid back in bed. “I will send these recording to Mei Xiu...she will know what to do without bringing too much attention to us being together. She can say it was work related that’s why we were together but Mr Li was stalking us.”

“It’s frightening...Knowing he watched us all this time. I hope it will be okay.” Zhan curled in Yibo’s arms, laying his head on his lover chest. “We will go through this together... I’m sure that depending on Mei Xiu, no one will ever know. He will get what deserves. Hahaha, it reaaly feels we are inside a fanfic.”

“Shut up Yibo! Ah... About Chen Xuan, I really feel she regrets all of this... You should talk to her after all if this is solved. What do you think?”

“I will. She was just worried and misinterpreted things...Zhan I promise you I’m not like she said. You know she was just lying.”

“I know.” Zhan closed his eyes, feeling Yibo’s fragrance.

“Zhan?”

“Mhm? “

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Xiao Zhan body reacted immediately to the question. He was now standing on his knees, looking at Yibo with those big eyes and bunny teeth showing. “I know it’s soon but I want you to be mine.”Yibo said when he saw Zhan was speechless. “I need all of you.” He caressed Zhan’s tights, staring at his semi opened lips. Xiao Zhan, gasped at the touch, finally coming to his senses.

He threw himself at Yibo and kissed him deeply. Their tongues danced together, only separating when air was needed. “I guess that’s a, yes?”

“Yes, Lao Wang! Fuck, I love you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo humans! Hows everyone?
> 
> This is my very first fanfic and i hope you guys like it!!  
> English is not my first language so i apologize if theres any mistake♡♡


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